I Am a Slave for My Neighbor [FICTION]

Leblonk · 07-27-2007, 05:15 PM

this is my first story so it might not be very good but i will try
part1

i was a normal 16 year old girl with out many friends and so when tom my across the road neghbor started being friendly i was very happy but i had no idea how it would turn out.
sorry its so short but i need to think part two coming soon!

Leblonk · 07-27-2007, 06:23 PM

see i was fast
part two
my parents were going away away for a week and a half so they went through the usual drill call the police if anything happens ect ect. so when i was alone i called Tom and asked him if he could come over. it transpiered that Toms parents were going away for away with some friends for two weeks so he came over. after awaile he asked if he could use the computer. i said yes showed himwere it was and then went to the bathroom. when i got back he was looking at somthing. he was on his own acount at getdare.com he was looking at a new thread when i saw what thread he was looking at i said "oh your looking at my thread i put there this morning." "it says your looking for a master." "yes...so?" "well now you have one." "ok." "well what do you have to say?" "well i don't think i want to have you for a master." " i see ok."

ok you have two opsions
1 he dosent do anything and thats the end of the story
2 he tackls her and strips her and takes picktures and forses her to be his slave.
by the way if i have now replys when i log on next i will just go for opsion two. part three coming soon! by the way i could use some sujestions

doanything · 07-27-2007, 06:26 PM

do the second one so much better

LilAngel · 07-28-2007, 12:08 AM

2nd one but can you please, please at least check some of the spelling? There's way too many errors.

Bored · 07-28-2007, 01:52 AM

obviously the 2nd option.

the Bean · 07-28-2007, 04:59 AM

it has potential but you need to work on your story writing. also try and incorporate some origonal ideas into your story somewhere, so it doesnt become just another slave master story

Smile Guy · 07-28-2007, 05:07 AM

Work on grammar, length, originality and ideas and you may just have a story in the making.

Leblonk · 07-28-2007, 07:24 AM

part three

he takled me and the next thing i knew was that i was tied to a chare and i was naked. "you have two opsions you can be my slave or every guy in the school and your teachers and your parents will have a pictore of you naked.what do you choose?" "oh allright." "good you will
be punished later for your stuborness urlier well good bye. oh you will have to clean my parenst roomes and my room and you will have to do it naked and i will be back in two houres have it done by the time i get back. here." he handed me a knife. "that should slllow you down, hehe. goodbye." he was right it took me 15 mineutes to cut my self free. when i was finaly free i went across the road and looked at his room it wasen't too bad but it took me three corters of an hour to dust and pick up all of his clothes i put his dirty landry in the wasing machine. then i checked out his parents room i could tell he had been mesing it about on purpus it was a big mess it took me 55 minutes then i looked out the window and saw Tom returning i ran down stares and grabe the loundry out of the machine.

three opsions
1 she gets the loundry in the drawers and its tidy unuff for her to avoid punishment
2she gets it in the drawers but it's not folded and she is punished
3she cant get it in fast anuff so she is punished

i need sudgestions please

dared to perfection · 07-28-2007, 07:53 AM

i would love to track what happens in this story as it continues but as previous posts have said the spelling is too wrong and has put me off.

x_daringbaby · 07-28-2007, 09:54 AM

Option 3 please, and reading this story would be much easier if you would check your spelling and grammer.

the Bean · 07-28-2007, 10:43 AM

please work on your story writing, i dont understand what has happened so far. its very hard to read

slave · 07-28-2007, 11:26 AM

u may not understand what he is trying to say but i understand xD i so love story and i sure love thoso old stories

doanything · 07-28-2007, 11:29 AM

option 3
pleeezzz

bobo · 07-28-2007, 11:40 AM

number 3
and could you try check your spelling please otherwise it is great

Leblonk · 07-28-2007, 05:27 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by the Bean

please work on your story writing, i dont understand what has happened so far. its very hard to read

sorry but i am not very good at spelling but i don't know why you can't understand

07-27-2007, 05:15 PM	#1
Leblonk Account Banned Join Date: Jul 2007 Posts: 74	I Am a Slave for My Neighbor [FICTION] this is my first story so it might not be very good but i will try part1 i was a normal 16 year old girl with out many friends and so when tom my across the road neghbor started being friendly i was very happy but i had no idea how it would turn out. sorry its so short but i need to think part two coming soon!

07-27-2007, 06:26 PM	#3
doanything Junior Member Join Date: Jul 2007 Posts: 16	do the second one so much better __________________ my limits r no public no friends or family no piss or poo or come no shaving or toilets or toothpaste or anything spicy or minty

07-28-2007, 11:29 AM	#13
doanything Junior Member Join Date: Jul 2007 Posts: 16	option 3 pleeezzz __________________ my limits r no public no friends or family no piss or poo or come no shaving or toilets or toothpaste or anything spicy or minty

07-27-2007, 06:23 PM	#2
Leblonk Account Banned Join Date: Jul 2007 Posts: 74	see i was fast part two my parents were going away away for a week and a half so they went through the usual drill call the police if anything happens ect ect. so when i was alone i called Tom and asked him if he could come over. it transpiered that Toms parents were going away for away with some friends for two weeks so he came over. after awaile he asked if he could use the computer. i said yes showed himwere it was and then went to the bathroom. when i got back he was looking at somthing. he was on his own acount at getdare.com he was looking at a new thread when i saw what thread he was looking at i said "oh your looking at my thread i put there this morning." "it says your looking for a master." "yes...so?" "well now you have one." "ok." "well what do you have to say?" "well i don't think i want to have you for a master." " i see ok." ok you have two opsions 1 he dosent do anything and thats the end of the story 2 he tackls her and strips her and takes picktures and forses her to be his slave. by the way if i have now replys when i log on next i will just go for opsion two. part three coming soon! by the way i could use some sujestions

07-28-2007, 12:08 AM	#4
LilAngel getDare Addict Join Date: Jun 2006 Location: Australia Posts: 2,171 Blog Entries: 44	2nd one but can you please, please at least check some of the spelling? There's way too many errors.

07-28-2007, 01:52 AM	#5
Bored Distinguished Member Join Date: Jun 2007 Location: California Posts: 861	obviously the 2nd option.

07-28-2007, 04:59 AM	#6
the Bean Senior Member Join Date: May 2007 Location: wouldn't you like to know... Posts: 160	it has potential but you need to work on your story writing. also try and incorporate some origonal ideas into your story somewhere, so it doesnt become just another slave master story

07-28-2007, 05:07 AM	#7
Smile Guy getDare Sweetheart Join Date: Aug 2006 Posts: 440	Work on grammar, length, originality and ideas and you may just have a story in the making.

07-28-2007, 07:24 AM	#8
Leblonk Account Banned Join Date: Jul 2007 Posts: 74	part three he takled me and the next thing i knew was that i was tied to a chare and i was naked. "you have two opsions you can be my slave or every guy in the school and your teachers and your parents will have a pictore of you naked.what do you choose?" "oh allright." "good you will be punished later for your stuborness urlier well good bye. oh you will have to clean my parenst roomes and my room and you will have to do it naked and i will be back in two houres have it done by the time i get back. here." he handed me a knife. "that should slllow you down, hehe. goodbye." he was right it took me 15 mineutes to cut my self free. when i was finaly free i went across the road and looked at his room it wasen't too bad but it took me three corters of an hour to dust and pick up all of his clothes i put his dirty landry in the wasing machine. then i checked out his parents room i could tell he had been mesing it about on purpus it was a big mess it took me 55 minutes then i looked out the window and saw Tom returning i ran down stares and grabe the loundry out of the machine. three opsions 1 she gets the loundry in the drawers and its tidy unuff for her to avoid punishment 2she gets it in the drawers but it's not folded and she is punished 3she cant get it in fast anuff so she is punished i need sudgestions please

07-28-2007, 07:53 AM	#9
dared to perfection getDare Devil Join Date: Nov 2006 Location: the best parts of the UK Posts: 1,085 Blog Entries: 1	i would love to track what happens in this story as it continues but as previous posts have said the spelling is too wrong and has put me off.

07-28-2007, 09:54 AM	#10
x_daringbaby Senior Member Join Date: Jun 2007 Posts: 136	Option 3 please, and reading this story would be much easier if you would check your spelling and grammer.

07-28-2007, 10:43 AM	#11
the Bean Senior Member Join Date: May 2007 Location: wouldn't you like to know... Posts: 160	please work on your story writing, i dont understand what has happened so far. its very hard to read

07-28-2007, 11:26 AM	#12
slave Junior Member Join Date: Jul 2007 Location: singapore/malaysia Posts: 7	u may not understand what he is trying to say but i understand xD i so love story and i sure love thoso old stories

07-28-2007, 11:40 AM	#14
bobo Senior Member Join Date: Apr 2007 Location: On the North Side, Dublin, Ireland Posts: 239 Blog Entries: 5	number 3 and could you try check your spelling please otherwise it is great