[Non-Fiction] Hwrd's Revenge

[somekindofcreature]

The following story can also be read on my GetDare Blog.

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You might recognize me as the person that Hwrd mentions whenever she's confessing something really gross and degrading that she's done. If you know anything about it then you know I've had this one coming.

Hwrd gave me a dare before Christmas shortly after I tasked her with eating something truly disgusting, and writing about it while...well you can read about it here.

Initially I was also supposed to write this report in situ, but due to developments you will read about shortly I'm writing about it the evening after all of the fun. To make up for this I will be including snippets of my private messages to Hwrd that I wrote in the moment in order to capture those "lost vibes" in this blog. Rest assured that this is incredibly humiliating for me.

The dare began shortly after dusk on a Saturday night. At that time I was standing in my kitchen completely naked save for my panties which were laying around my ankles. (If you've never been told to stay this way try it. It's so much more humiliating than being completely naked.)

As per Hwrd's instructions I had some reserves of peanut butter and jelly on the counter (about half a jar each) and a brand new can of whip cream.

First I reached my hand into the peanut butter jar (the least offensively sticky of the two) and began applying it to my right butt cheek. Of course this immediately began to make a mess on the floor, but making a mess in my kitchen that I would have to clean later is just what I deserve for being such a meanie I suppose.

After I applied all of the peanut butter I had I cleaned my hand, and moved on to the jelly. I must tell you that I despise being sticky, so I really dreaded sticking my hand into that jar, and smearing the cold goop onto my left butt cheek.

You must think this is incredibly humiliating, and it was. Of course I was already turned on by this, but I'm not even a fraction of the way through the task at this point.

After I had completely coated my bottom with peanut butter and jelly I had the "privilege" of pulling up my panties. Yes it felt ✨gross✨.

At this point you may be asking, "but creature, what about the whip cream?" Well I'm ashamed to confess I was looking forward to this the most. I pulled the waistband of my panties away from my back, and gave the nozzle of the whip cream a good five or six second squeeze into the opening. In about a second my panties were filled with cold, smooth, cream. It is very humiliating to admit, but I absolutely love this sensation. You'll see exactly what I mean later in the report.

So now that Hwrd had filled my panties with messy food just like I had done to her you may think she was done with me. Ha!

Of course I was now expected to sit at my kitchen table. As you can imagine this caused a rapid expansion of the food that had previously occupied the back of my panties.

I was now expected to...call a friend and speak to them for half an hour while I sat there; tits out, and sitting in a pile of food. Hwrd finds this particularly funny. In fact she found it so funny that she instructed me to lift myself out of the chair by a few inches, and sit back down every time I was asked a question. Thanks Hwrd!

At this point I should admit just how much I enjoy the feeling of whip cream.

Originally Posted by somekindofcreature

I'm nearly drooling lol. I think it would be a little mortifying if it was any less than 32. At least at a certain point I can blame physics and friction instead of admitting that I'm completely perverted!

So yes, I'm ashamed to say that even as I was dialing my friend I was enjoying my humiliation so much that I was grinding into the mess in my panties.

Now who do you call at a moment like this? I decided to call a friend of mine that I've known for a little over a year now. He and I have a lot in common. He's very sweet, very stylish, and the absolute portrait of a gentleman. The kind of guy that keeps me bisexual.

I had texted him earlier about a movie I had seen that I knew he would like. We don't usually talk on the phone so I didn't want to call him out of the blue. However I had nothing to worry about because he was just as much the conversationalist on the phone as he is in person. This is where Hwrd really shot herself in the foot. Lets take a look at what happened:

Originally Posted by somekindofcreature

Oh my gosh Hwrd that's so mean! I already just want to cum so bad 😅

We were on the phone for like 40 minutes! And I've got bad news for you. I invited him over to watch a movie lol. I told him I needed to take a shower and do some stuff first, so he's not coming over right away, but I'm going to have to put off writing the full report. I'm really sorry!

I guess I should do the extra reps to make up for that huh? Yeah that's probably fair. This is so weird but something about typing this while the screen is at essentially tit level is so humiliating. For all intents and purposes it's like you're just staring lol.

So despite (or because of?) the thrill I experienced each time I was asked a question, and experienced that exhilarating feeling of squishing into a horrible sticky mess, the call went really well.

Now you may be thinking, "what was all of that talk about reps and pushups?" Well reader my dare WAS NOT OVER YET. In fact at this point it's about half way over. Do you really think I deserve this? I mean isn't it getting a bit much? Isn't Hwrd just the meanest!

Well yes, she is. Because now that the most humiliating phone call of my life was over I was expected to complete 65 burpees ~completely naked~ save for my food filled panties of course. Lets check in on how those went for me:

Originally Posted by somekindofcreature

I just finished the burpees oh my god those suck! And as I expected my panties kept sliding down! This is so undignified Hwrd! lol

I was already tired, and I'm sure Hwrd would want me to remind you that at this point I was still not wearing a bra. So...well I'm sure you're already picturing it.

Of course Hwrd still wanted me to do 100 pushups. I don't mean to brag, but this isn't really that difficult for me. But I wouldn't just be doing push ups. I would be removing my panties, and placing them mess up on top of a shoe box. So that each time I did a push up I would lower my face into my panties and hold a plank for 5 seconds.

THIS SUCKED. A LOT. Thanks Hwrd 💖

At this point I was "allowed" to put my panties back on. Let's check in on how I was doing in the moment:

Originally Posted by somekindofcreature

It feels incredible. When I put my panties back on it's like I could literally feel the endorphins spread through my body. There's food all over my thighs and down my legs. Right now it's dripping onto my tits from my face. I'm literally licking it off of my lips while I'm typing this lol.

I'm rocking back and forth in this sticky mess - grinding into my panties. My hands are completely occupied with the keyboard right now. I want to get off completely without them. You must be so jealous lol. Oh my god Hwrd this feels so good. Have you been dropping hints about this in the thread? It's so humiliating to think about everyone watching me do this. I'm thinking about my friend watching me too lol isn't that so bad? Fuck that's humiliating.

For those reading about this in the distant future Hwrd was in denial at this point, and had an ongoing thread in which people could assign her edges to complete. Of course if you're reading this in the future I'm sure that thread has passed into GetDare legend, and you already knew precisely what I was referring to. Hwrd may still be denied whenever you happen to be reading this.

Consider the following an epilogue of sorts. Did I enjoy myself? Did I have a good evening with my gentleman caller?

Let's check in with my PMs:

Originally Posted by somekindofcreature

You're such a sweetie. I had a really good night! He was such a gentleman. Did you know he didn't even ask me to get messy or humiliated or anything?

Finally some of you may be wondering. Did this experience break me? Could I possible ever bully Hwrd again? Lol, of course I could duh

Originally Posted by somekindofcreature

lol stop. Be good

[Hwrd]

This was so much fun! You’re so cute when you’re embarrassed!

Can’t wait for next time! 😇

[bluedieblub]

That *is* a very fun report to read! And arousing for many different reasons. Meeting up with someone straight after cumming in, or well, from a peanut butter and jelly bum sandwich must have been incredibly embarrassing. Thanks for sharing!

[BiEmily]

Hahahaha, the chef gets a taste of her own medicine. You had even had a nice 'date' out of it as I am reading this. What a fun story to tell when people ask how you got together.

It must have been a delishious PB&J ass-cheek sandwich. I know I have enjoyed it.

I hope this won't be your last report of the sort Miss Creamy-butt.

[GivingWantingDares]

I tried commenting on the blog, but couldn't... locked comments?

Great report, I absolutely LOVED IT! (And not just the report, I would have loved being there, I'm sure!). Please keep these coming!

[somekindofcreature]

Huh, yeah it does seem like comments are disabled. That must be the default setting.

I'm glad y'all are enjoying my report!