An Interesting Observation

[zeph]

Something I have noticed have proper S & M relationships online now for a little over a year is that if you are a female or female-adjacent submissive, male Dominants will essentially throw themselves at you.

As someone who is non-binary but assigned female at birth, I am, what I consider, female adjacent. I posted an ad last year looking for a male Dominant (could have been any sex, I don't remember and honestly I am too lazy to go look for it now). I had almost zero experience as a submissive but I was almost instantly inundated with responses. I could tell a lot of them didn't read my ad as I was very particular in what I was looking for. Even after I started a D/s relationship, I still got a few messages each month of men wanting to be my Dom.

I am assuming that most of these individuals are inexperienced Doms as they just bombarded my kik with messages, giving orders and not giving much information about themselves (other than that they could be my dominant).

Now after posting a second ad, this time looking for a female Domme/Mistress, I have not gotten any responses (besides a few from men who did not read the text in ALL CAPS). Part of my wonders if there are just less female Dommes on this site than male Doms (I'm a bit curious about the gender demographics of D/s roles). Another part of me, the self-loathing part of me, feels as if I am inadequate as a submissive. I know this is probably not the case but you read a lot of ads saying they only want athletic girls to apply or no overweight girls. I have struggled with my weight for a long time so it's probably just the insecurity about my body bleeding through but I can't help feel inadequate due to my weight (for reference I am 5'1" and 175 lbs however I was recently diagnosed with PCOS which I have only recently started receiving treatment for which my gyno believes to be the cause of my excess weight).

I just thought it was interesting seeing the behavior difference between male and female Doms. I just wanted to write down my thoughts as a young submissive instead of just wallowing in my own self-loathing

[AliceP1985]

I don't know about the actual demographic split but it definitely FEELS like there are more men about here, probably because they are just more willing to put themselves out there.

It seems like some of them just spend there days clicking through the list of online users and PMing anyone who has female in the bio. To be clear, I don't really have a problem with this as long as they're polite, it certainly makes it easy to find people to play with, but some of them can jump in with demands pretty quickly and get offended/annoyed when I make my limits/requirements clear.

Anyway, I don't imagine any of that actually helps you in your search for a domme but I wish you luck and hope you get some interest soon, your ad looks very good and I'm sure someone appropriate will see it at some point.

[Juga]

Unfortunately, its like this all around internet. Plenty of man, bombarding any girl they can find. Often to the point where they force them to leave. Plenty of them don't bother to read your bio, or they choose to ignore your preferences.

On one hand, I can understand that its hard to find a girl sub. Its easy to admit that you are a dominant male, but it take a lot of courage to go public as a submissive girl. So there is great unbalance. Also we are expected to initiate contact. And it can be hard to find the right words when you have just a little information.

On the other hand, its alarming how many people forget how to behave. On the internet, you can be whatever you want. Its sad so many people desided to be idiots.

You are not inadequate as submissive. You may not appeal to everyone, and it is OK. Nobody does. Personally, I prefer my toys a little bigger. And I know there plenty of us with same preferences.

I can't imagine how it must feel to get so many toxic attention. But remember, there are good guys out there.