Disappointed

[Manbearpig]

I guess as far as the so called "mod clique" goes, I guess I have to respond. First off, I agree with Rachie 100%. I also rarely talk to mods outside of getDare, mainly because unlike most of the mods, I am in the country that website is based out of . The mods don't look down upon good users or just users in general. We look down upon people who take away the fun from other people by being rude or mean.

Finally, like Rachie said, as long as you put in a decent effort into spelling and what not, no one will care. The long post you did was well thought out. What I hate is people who give no effort and use text speak. That will drive me crazy. And if you ever have any questions or complaints, make sure you make us aware. We want to make this as good as a website as we possibly can.

[nellybell]

You must realize that when ever there are large numbers of people, cliques happen. It isn't a bad thing, its just people talking to people they like and get along with. They only have "power" if you imagine them to have it. In chat, people don't always answer eveybody and they don't always say hi to everyone who comes in. You can't expect it all the time, I'm a regular in chat, and just like sweetsong, I've gone unanswered as well. It's just what happenes, people aren't required to answer other people or they may be involved in a conversation already and may not wish to get off topic.

When it comes to being friends with mods, you have to realize that mods are people too. They all started out as regular users on here before they became mods and they, like everyone else, gained friends during this time. You can't expect them to just get rid of everyone because of their new position. Their friends aren't royalty, they're like every other user.

You also mentioned not wanting to be grouped with the rest of the public because no one cares about them. That's all there is though, the mods and the rest of the users (There are also admin of you want to get technical). The whole reasons mods are mods is to care about the site and the users. There are also users caring about users. Ones that have been around for a while are probably quite willing to help anyone who asks nicely for it, and there are threads and even a section for helping people. So, obviously people care, you just have to use it.

I think, sometimes, people look down on what mods do so much because they often only see the bad side of them, when they have to deal with the rule breakers and people who are just making stuff less fun. They aren't evil creatures though (waits for smartass comment), they are just regular users that got a lot of responsiblity put on their shoulders. Considering the large amount of stupid that comes on here sometimes, you can't blame them for being less than polite. Like it has been said before, got to cut them a little slack, they're only human.

But, in the end, you just gotta take a step back from here sometimes, and realize it is nothing more than a site. If you take everything personally you're not going to be very happy anywhere, not just on this site. This is how people are, for better or for worse. On some sites though, the little minor things that might make this place a little less than ideal, are a hundred times worse. So, be glad that the mods don't just go around endlessly banning people simply because they don't like them, it could be a lot worse.

[Manbearpig]

Originally Posted by nellybell

You must realize that when ever there are large numbers of people, cliques happen. It isn't a bad thing, its just people talking to people they like and get along with. They only have "power" if you imagine them to have it. In chat, people don't always answer eveybody and they don't always say hi to everyone who comes in. You can't expect it all the time, I'm a regular in chat, and just like sweetsong, I've gone unanswered as well. It's just what happenes, people aren't required to answer other people or they may be involved in a conversation already and may not wish to get off topic.

When it comes to being friends with mods, you have to realize that mods are people too. They all started out as regular users on here before they became mods and they, like everyone else, gained friends during this time. You can't expect them to just get rid of everyone because of their new position. Their friends aren't royalty, they're like every other user.

You also mentioned not wanting to be grouped with the rest of the public because no one cares about them. That's all there is though, the mods and the rest of the users (There are also admin of you want to get technical). The whole reasons mods are mods is to care about the site and the users. There are also users caring about users. Ones that have been around for a while are probably quite willing to help anyone who asks nicely for it, and there are threads and even a section for helping people. So, obviously people care, you just have to use it.

I think, sometimes, people look down on what mods do so much because they often only see the bad side of them, when they have to deal with the rule breakers and people who are just making stuff less fun. They aren't evil creatures though (waits for smartass comment), they are just regular users that got a lot of responsiblity put on their shoulders. Considering the large amount of stupid that comes on here sometimes, you can't blame them for being less than polite. Like it has been said before, got to cut them a little slack, they're only human.

But, in the end, you just gotta take a step back from here sometimes, and realize it is nothing more than a site. If you take everything personally you're not going to be very happy anywhere, not just on this site. This is how people are, for better or for worse. On some sites though, the little minor things that might make this place a little less than ideal, are a hundred times worse. So, be glad that the mods don't just go around endlessly banning people simply because they don't like them, it could be a lot worse.

Couldn't have said it better.

[The Natural]

Originally Posted by nellybell

I think, sometimes, people look down on what mods do so much because they often only see the bad side of them, when they have to deal with the rule breakers and people who are just making stuff less fun. They aren't evil creatures though (waits for smartass comment), they are just regular users that got a lot of responsiblity put on their shoulders. Considering the large amount of stupid that comes on here sometimes, you can't blame them for being less than polite. Like it has been said before, got to cut them a little slack, they're only human.

A guest speaker for my Administration of Criminal Justice class once said something very similar.

"You don't invite the police to your birthday parties, graduation parties, baby showers, or any kind of good event. You call them when you need them, and you call them only when something bad happens. You don't dial 911 to ask the operator how their day is going or how their wife and kids are doing; you dial 911 because someone is hurt, dying, or in danger. They're there to keep the peace, and be the face of justice, and that's all you see of them."

It's similar in this situation. All the public sees of moderators is banning certain users and trashing certain posts. Then again, it's their job, it's their responsibility; and just like police officers, they deal with a lot of shit as Nelly more politely stated.

I know it seems stupid comparing police officers to the moderators of GetDare; Moderators carry banhammers, police carry firearms. It doesn't really compare... but the principle is the same. Respect them, don't piss them off, and they should respect you too.

[BettyBoop]

I'm only commenting to say I agree completely with nellybell.

[Stardares]

I know what you mean OP. I suggest just being yourself and telling everyone else to suck your schlong. There's some really stuck up members, hate on those, mods are pretty chill. (Most mods.)

[jamness]

I'd like to point out that when I joined GD back in december of 2010 I felt pretty much the same about it as you in terms of the groups of friends etcetera. I think you're taking it a bit far when you say everyone's high and mighty over everyone else because that's definately not how anyone feels. As I was in chat more frequently, I gradually started to get to know a few people and made friends. And as you said to start with it's hard because the 'high and mighty people', who I see as 'regulars' know eachother well and talk between themselves. But if you were in chat more often you'd gradually get included in conversation etc.

[Blank]

Originally Posted by Link1

I doubt anyone really cares on this site about this, and I feel like there's probably a chance that this post would be trashed. Either way, I feel like I've been getting more and more disappointed with this site.

And of course, the first thing anyone could say is, if you don't like it then leave! But I just figured I'd express my feelings before I did so.

When I first stumbled onto this site it looked very interesting and very alive. I've never been very into forums, but this looked different. I learned soon though that it was still a forum. I almost wish it was different. I feel like posts should be able to be deleted and you should be able to rate threads or something. Actually, you can rate can't you? If so, why can't you sort by highest rated? or other sorting methods.. they just would make things a lot better. And if you CAN do that then I'm missing something.

But that doesn't even really matter. That could just improve the site a little. But that's no reason to be annoyed. I became much more discouraged when I started to feel the different types of groups on getdare and how I was practically the bottom of the food chain. I had tried to use the ad system to find a mistress and realized quickly that it was hopeless. Even after being complimented on my second ad a few times, nothing happened. So I became annoyed because I realized that as a straight male, being on this site was going to be.. a bit worse. And of course the usual system of male sub, male dom, female sub, female dom. Lowest to highest demand. I felt pathetic.

( this takes time in fairness, you just need to be patient and not feel low about yourself.)

But even worse then that. (that can't be helped can it?) I feel like there is.. pretty much a mod clique. All the mods and their best buds. They support each other and let them stand high and mighty over everyone else. And I'm not saying that these people aren't good posters or whatever. I'm sure they work hard. I just feel like the interaction between a mod or mod friend and myself or some other common member is like talking to royalty. You're being looked down on constantly on this site. And everyone loves grammar and well put together ideas. But I'm not really a writer. and so, I get looked down on because of that. cool? And then there's the Elite Member area. As if I didn't feel low enough. There's a constant reminder!

( I have heard of this from a few friend's I know on here, but have not seen much of it. how ever if it is true, sound's kinda suckish) (as for spelling and grammar I already stated some people might not be able to help but have bad spelling and grammar, and all I got told was they should use a spell checker, which is fair but if someone has dyslexia then they can't help it and I think that should be put in consideration.)

Like.. everything in this whole forum is a bunch of stuff either trying to please the people and earn favor for good posts, or please the mods with that, or please the girls because you're horny. Being who I am is useless on this site. (male, switch, taken. Not that I can't post my own amazing thoughts, but it's not going to get me far) XD

I don't know. Maybe it's just me who feels that way. I feel like considering the nature of this site. (sex, masturbation, scat??) anything should be ok. But one of my last posts got closed without an explanation. Clearly I was being too aggressive or SOMEthing. To me I felt like I was just trying to defend myself when someone directed something TO me. I certainly didn't feel like I was spamming or being offensive though. If anything I was feeling more hurt. But then the thread closed. Leaving me with little resolution! :3

( You have to becare how you post on here, because if you do sound abit aggressive mod's can delete the post)

Got a little off-topic there though. (as if someone isn't going to trash this though. If the mods don't like it, it gets trashed right? freedom of speech ftw) I can't really get every idea out. I'm just really not happy with this site anymore. It's been going downhill. I don't like the mods being so high and mighty. I don't like a lot of the people who seem like creeps or liars or whatever they may be. I don't like being pushed into that SAME group as all the general public on this site since no one cares about them. But I don't really feel like playing the game of "kiss up to the mod"

( Not all mod's are that bad =) I mean some do act it, but their also and I can't believe im saying this, But thier also good mod's which a site like this need's in fairness.)

And really, I feel like on a perfect site, the mods are invisible. They ARE the site. They delete a post and send you a message about how the site doesn't like that. But with this site everything is on a personal level. It hurts. I hate when mods trash a post and are like.. TRASHED at the end of it. It's so in your face.. it just seems douchey. really.. posts that are trashed should just be.. gone.

( I agree with you on here, it does seem a bit of a dick move, but it's up to them at the end of the day)

but.. enough of my unorganized rambling. If anyone took the time to really read all of this it would probably be someone who either agrees with me somehow or someone who is active on the site. I have such a strong feeling that this will be TRASHED. Because that's just what this site seems to do in this sort of situation. I don't really feel like I'm breaking the rules though so if this is trashed someone should tell me exactly what I did to break the rules that are posted on the site. I'm certainly not yelling at any person. I only am talking about the site in general or the mods in general. But as people, I'm sure you're all very nice. This is just one person's point of view I guess. maybe it'll be helpful. >_>

( well, I don't think your breaking the rule's, you just stating your opinion Im sure some people here will disagree but at the end of the day we all have opinion's weather someone like's them or not we have to accept their opinion.

Oh my replies are in the quote box .__.

[DancingBear]

I don't really like the cliques either but what can you do? It's like highschool.

[Link1]

thanks everyone for the advice. I've changed my views on many of these things so I decided to ask Rachie to close the thread. But the comments are appreciated! :P

Rachie Edit
CLOSED