Need Advice: How To Be Comfortable As A Sub

[SubbyFootFetishist]

I have a question to lob at y'all, or rather a broad topic that I need some assistance with. Hope you can help.

My problem is that I'm extremely subby, but I'm just not fully comfortable with it. I have a lovely fiancee that is willing to dom me, but I think she doesn't really know what to do with me because, well, I'm not communicating properly.

Even on here, when I'm in a situation where I have to be very submissive to someone, I just get scared. I clam up, get the sweats, and pretty much lose all sexual interest.

I guess it's sort of an advanced form of performance anxiety? I want to be the best sub ever, but I can't because I'm too scared of that side of myself to speak up about it, and that sort of just feeds on it itself. And I'm just at a loss as to what to do to advance that side of the relationship. Do I show her some of my pornography or what??

So my questions are as follow.

For Dominants:

I'm sure some of you have encountered this before. How do you deal with a submissive that is nervous/scared/uncomfortable? Are there any specific strategies you employ to get them to be open with you?

For Submissives:

How did y'all become comfortable with yourselves as you are? I find it hard to believe that there's a trick, but fuck it maybe there is.

Any advice from any side would be appreciated so so much!

Thanks!