Fiction: Nude sleepover [FICTON] - Page 7

hot_viper_2005 · 06-25-2021, 05:15 PM

I think you need to start a new story. Am I the only one?

I read all the old parts of the story and was into it with every nasty detail and all the teen sex and incest and wherever it went. But the pregnant teen and then dead teen and plane crash and dream removal of all of it were too dark and not sexy to me. The additional college stuff and return to incest was not hot at all to me.

If you would like to dream sequence all the way back to the pregnancy and make it a scare or plan B thing then that storyline had a lot of dares and blackmail and other people you could bring in to have them continue on their wild fucking and sucking. Some streaking and outside dares would be good. Getting caught. Some bullies finding them and making them do even worse stuff. They guys having to do stuff to each other or the bullies. Maybe a teacher finds out when they do stuff at school and blackmails them all. There was a lot of stuff left on the table in the teen T or D area. It could have gotten dark, but naughty dark.

Hey, just my opinion. Loved the first stuff so much. Not flaming, just my feedback.

Sydney_sub · 06-25-2021, 08:29 PM

Yes pretty please

littlegrey · 06-29-2021, 12:17 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by hot_viper_2005

I think you need to start a new story. Am I the only one?

I read all the old parts of the story and was into it with every nasty detail and all the teen sex and incest and wherever it went. But the pregnant teen and then dead teen and plane crash and dream removal of all of it were too dark and not sexy to me. The additional college stuff and return to incest was not hot at all to me.

If you would like to dream sequence all the way back to the pregnancy and make it a scare or plan B thing then that storyline had a lot of dares and blackmail and other people you could bring in to have them continue on their wild fucking and sucking. Some streaking and outside dares would be good. Getting caught. Some bullies finding them and making them do even worse stuff. They guys having to do stuff to each other or the bullies. Maybe a teacher finds out when they do stuff at school and blackmails them all. There was a lot of stuff left on the table in the teen T or D area. It could have gotten dark, but naughty dark.

Hey, just my opinion. Loved the first stuff so much. Not flaming, just my feedback.

I REALLY appreciate you taking the time to give this feedback. I will contemplate what my next moves are. May I get in touch with you to chat about this further? You seem to have some great ideas for where I could go next.

hot_viper_2005 · 06-29-2021, 03:51 PM

Absolutely. Again, it is only my opinion. Not sure what other people liked or not. I just know where it went with me.

m55uk4younger · 07-01-2021, 07:32 AM

For a first story it was amazing, never sure where the "players" were going. Sexually it could have gone further maybe, bi sexual action maybe some secret hidden sexual kinks and fantasies played out.
The near rape was good a warning to all men when hormones take over and the result of it!
Keep writing, I am sure lots enjoyed reading it, maybe some ended up naked and masturbated to climax, getting lost in your story.
I won't tell if you don't, dirty little secrets, we have them all. Don't we?

In these days of Covid, solo online safe sex does no harm. You just need a good story or fantasy!

06-25-2021, 05:15 PM	#91
hot_viper_2005 Senior Member Join Date: Jan 2009 Location: Big Bear Lake, CA Posts: 214	I think you need to start a new story. Am I the only one? I read all the old parts of the story and was into it with every nasty detail and all the teen sex and incest and wherever it went. But the pregnant teen and then dead teen and plane crash and dream removal of all of it were too dark and not sexy to me. The additional college stuff and return to incest was not hot at all to me. If you would like to dream sequence all the way back to the pregnancy and make it a scare or plan B thing then that storyline had a lot of dares and blackmail and other people you could bring in to have them continue on their wild fucking and sucking. Some streaking and outside dares would be good. Getting caught. Some bullies finding them and making them do even worse stuff. They guys having to do stuff to each other or the bullies. Maybe a teacher finds out when they do stuff at school and blackmails them all. There was a lot of stuff left on the table in the teen T or D area. It could have gotten dark, but naughty dark. Hey, just my opinion. Loved the first stuff so much. Not flaming, just my feedback. __________________ Hoyt Viper Male, California, USA Straight, but a dare is a dare Telegram: hot_viper_2005 eMail: [email protected] Twitter: @hot_viper_2005 (Twitter is only for Porn now) zoig.com: ViperI https://dirtycode.io/3532S TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@hotviper2005 Deleted my Kik, too much spam Hard Limits: FACE, ID, potty, blood, $, permanent Last edited by hot_viper_2005; 06-25-2021 at 09:33 PM.

06-25-2021, 08:29 PM	#92
Sydney_sub getDare Sweetheart Join Date: Mar 2016 Location: Sydney, Australia Posts: 263 Blog Entries: 1	Yes pretty please __________________ Kik is sydney.sub182 Send me a message if you'd like a sub to obey your commands, ladies only. Likes: Spanks, chastity, nipple clamps, CEI, JOI, CFNM Limits: Public, CBT, poop, blood etc...

06-29-2021, 03:51 PM	#94
hot_viper_2005 Senior Member Join Date: Jan 2009 Location: Big Bear Lake, CA Posts: 214	Absolutely. Again, it is only my opinion. Not sure what other people liked or not. I just know where it went with me. __________________ Hoyt Viper Male, California, USA Straight, but a dare is a dare Telegram: hot_viper_2005 eMail: [email protected] Twitter: @hot_viper_2005 (Twitter is only for Porn now) zoig.com: ViperI https://dirtycode.io/3532S TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@hotviper2005 Deleted my Kik, too much spam Hard Limits: FACE, ID, potty, blood, $, permanent

07-01-2021, 07:32 AM	#95
m55uk4younger Distinguished Member Join Date: Apr 2015 Location: UK Posts: 956	For a first story it was amazing, never sure where the "players" were going. Sexually it could have gone further maybe, bi sexual action maybe some secret hidden sexual kinks and fantasies played out. The near rape was good a warning to all men when hormones take over and the result of it! Keep writing, I am sure lots enjoyed reading it, maybe some ended up naked and masturbated to climax, getting lost in your story. I won't tell if you don't, dirty little secrets, we have them all. Don't we? In these days of Covid, solo online safe sex does no harm. You just need a good story or fantasy!