Advice For Husband “Coming Out” About Wanting to be a Slave

Johnybou21 · 07-21-2018, 05:29 PM

So, my wife and I have been married a little over a year now. We have great sex, and she knows that I am interested in BDSM. Overall, I’ve always really been a switch, filling top and bottom roles in various different situations. However, I have always been a top when my wife and I play.

It has become a huge fantasy of mine to serve as my wife’s slave, but I’m not sure how she’ll take me asking for that. We’ve never played out very involved role play before, usually just brief foreplay and during sex tying her up and such. I would love to have periods of days or even a week or more where I am her slave, but I guess I’m just not sure the best way to bring that up to her.

If anybody has any advice or has dealt with a similar situation, I would love some input. Thanks!

poetrylover828 · 07-21-2018, 08:03 PM

If you wife already has an interest in BDSM that is great. That means there is less you need to help her learn, because she has a base in the subject.

As for talking about wanting to be a sub well you just have to talk to her. Clothes on no sexy/play times about to happen talk. Tell her what sort of things you would want her to have you do. Who knows maybe she has an interesting in domming you but isn't sure what you think. I would say talk to her about a little and then tell her that you hope she will take some time to think about it if she feels unsure. After that then talk again. Also if you don't know how to say it ask if you two can write down some kinky fantasies for the other to read. And then write it out for her.

In the end is she has no interest in being a dom then that means that you either don't be a sub or (with your wife's knowledge and consent) you find a dom to play with outside of the relationship. There is always the third option where you both realize your aren't compatible and separate, but I hope that one of the other options works better.

In all honesty the biggest thing is talking. Just keep talking through everything. Hopefully this helps you a little bit.

amethyst353 · 07-22-2018, 04:47 PM

You can try getting her to fill out a site like mojoupgrade.com. You each fill out what fantasies you want to try or would be willing to try. Once you both take it, it only reveals which ones you both selected. It will at least clue you in to how difficult the conversation will be.

07-21-2018, 05:29 PM	#1
Johnybou21 Junior Member Join Date: Apr 2013 Posts: 28	Advice For Husband “Coming Out” About Wanting to be a Slave So, my wife and I have been married a little over a year now. We have great sex, and she knows that I am interested in BDSM. Overall, I’ve always really been a switch, filling top and bottom roles in various different situations. However, I have always been a top when my wife and I play. It has become a huge fantasy of mine to serve as my wife’s slave, but I’m not sure how she’ll take me asking for that. We’ve never played out very involved role play before, usually just brief foreplay and during sex tying her up and such. I would love to have periods of days or even a week or more where I am her slave, but I guess I’m just not sure the best way to bring that up to her. If anybody has any advice or has dealt with a similar situation, I would love some input. Thanks! __________________ Likes: Bondage, anal, cbt, pain, humiliation, discreet public, pee, chastity, ice Dislikes: breath play, wedgies Hard limits: scat, public, family, illegal, permanent Toys: rope, chain with 2 padlocks, whips, dildo, blindfold, gag, chastity device, 2 butt plugs, 1 small and 1 large.

07-21-2018, 08:03 PM	#2
poetrylover828 getDare Sweetheart Join Date: Jul 2017 Location: US Posts: 470 Blog Entries: 4	If you wife already has an interest in BDSM that is great. That means there is less you need to help her learn, because she has a base in the subject. As for talking about wanting to be a sub well you just have to talk to her. Clothes on no sexy/play times about to happen talk. Tell her what sort of things you would want her to have you do. Who knows maybe she has an interesting in domming you but isn't sure what you think. I would say talk to her about a little and then tell her that you hope she will take some time to think about it if she feels unsure. After that then talk again. Also if you don't know how to say it ask if you two can write down some kinky fantasies for the other to read. And then write it out for her. In the end is she has no interest in being a dom then that means that you either don't be a sub or (with your wife's knowledge and consent) you find a dom to play with outside of the relationship. There is always the third option where you both realize your aren't compatible and separate, but I hope that one of the other options works better. In all honesty the biggest thing is talking. Just keep talking through everything. Hopefully this helps you a little bit. __________________ Likes: rope play, spanking and other forms of light impact play Limits: anal, piss, scat, video, pics, permanent damage Don’t send me messages asking to help with your dare or help you shop. If I want to take parts in dares I will. If you need someone to pick out the things you are buying then you don’t need to being doing dares. I'm not looking for a partner.

07-22-2018, 04:47 PM	#3
amethyst353 getDare Sweetheart Join Date: Sep 2016 Posts: 498 Blog Entries: 16	You can try getting her to fill out a site like mojoupgrade.com. You each fill out what fantasies you want to try or would be willing to try. Once you both take it, it only reveals which ones you both selected. It will at least clue you in to how difficult the conversation will be. __________________ 32\|bi(prefers women)\|trans woman\|sub-leaning switch formerly known as marissa353 loves: humiliation, gags, bodywriting, bondage, games limits: pics with face, messing with sleep, public, heavy blackmail, videos, permanent, scat, extreme pain Note: I transitioned years ago - wearing women's clothes isn't a dare. If you give me a sissy-themed dare, I will ignore you. Full likes/limits \| Toys/Items I Own \| PM Dares (friends only for a bit) \| My current rules