How to get parter to be ok with BDSM and humiliation

[Playthingtoy]

I would like my parter to be more into bdsm but she is not. How can I get her into this and really dominate and humiliate me for her pleasure.

[amethyst353]

You can try easing her into explaining it and why it would appeal to you. However, if she isn't into it there's nothing you can do to make her, no matter what "be careful what you wish for" themed femdom erotica may say.

If she is never going to be into it, you need to evaluate how much of a need it is for you and whether the two of you are compatible if that need isn't getting met.

[Pet Ra]

Hi

I would say: Start slow, make it a bit funny and see how she reacts.
Don't go in full berserk, if you do that it's most likely that she will chicken out

Give her some light (really light) spanks (<10) on her ass during sex.
Some dirty talk - don't call her a filthy whore in the beginning, a "naughty girl" works much better.
Gently pull her hair (grab it close to her head)
Tie her up a bit, but then don't dominate her. Just play with her and give pleasure. Or tease her and then play some "edge and denial" - but let her cum after that. It's her reward and if she likes it it's more likely that she will do it again

For example:
Master had some issues with race-play in the beginning (I guess many Germans have troubles with it because of their past, but that's not the matter here), so I told him in exaggerated accent "Yeah, mount me my white stallion". We were both bursting in laughter that next few times I told him to "use my asian ass", that his dick is superior, and so on.
Now he has no problem with calling me a "slant-eyes bitch".

Most important: Respect her wishes. If she don't like it - don't force it.
Maybe her submissive side will wake up, maybe not - it's not for everyone.

Please don't do the "If you don't do it, I will break up with you." BDSM is not just dominant sex, it has a lot to do with trust.

So, make small steps.

Kind regards

Ra

[suballyzon]

Originally Posted by Playthingtoy

I would like my parter to be more into bdsm but she is not. How can I get her into this and really dominate and humiliate me for her pleasure.

Try to talk to her, and read her reactions. But you should be prepared for 2 possibilities: either she's into or she's not. If she is into it, then you're the very lucky one. After that, go slow, ask her to join some kinky community websites, watch kinky porn with her etc.

If she's not into kink, then she will never be into kink. That's very sad but true. Some vanilla can't be made kinky, no matter how hard you try. It will be then up to you to decide to stay vanilla, or to leave and find a compatible kinky partner.