How to switch when you’re a sub?

Trashsamhands · 04-14-2021, 02:55 PM

My bf wants me to be more domineering. Not necessarily bdsm-level domme, but more demanding and detailed with what I want. Here’s why I’m having trouble:

1) I’m a sub through and through.
2) I’m not good at dirty talk (which he seems to want. He is much better at it than I am. I’m just good at changing up my moans to indicate what I’m feeling, ha
3) I was literally just about to post about how I can gradually bring him in to my humiliation/degradation fetishes without scaring the living christ out of him. He’s certainly not vanilla (He’s figured out that I like the DDLG thing—he’s a little weirded out by it, but still does it because he’s seen how much it turned me on. Same with spanking. I still haven’t gotten him quite to where I want it (I want to have trouble sitting down, I want him to make me beg for mercy—he is NOT comfortable taking it that far, so I don’t push him, but when he’ll spank me a little bit, I try to encourage him to give me more/do it harder)

So as I’m typing this, I’m thinking maybe I should demand wants in which I want him to degrade me—but whilst figuring out and staying within his limits (esp since we’d both be experimenting—we may find new limits, who knows).

But again—how? Without making it scary? What can I say, what can I ask him to do that will gradually lead us to the degradation path I want to be on? Ideas?

04-14-2021, 02:55 PM	#1
Trashsamhands Junior Member Join Date: Jan 2021 Posts: 16	How to switch when you’re a sub? My bf wants me to be more domineering. Not necessarily bdsm-level domme, but more demanding and detailed with what I want. Here’s why I’m having trouble: 1) I’m a sub through and through. 2) I’m not good at dirty talk (which he seems to want. He is much better at it than I am. I’m just good at changing up my moans to indicate what I’m feeling, ha 3) I was literally just about to post about how I can gradually bring him in to my humiliation/degradation fetishes without scaring the living christ out of him. He’s certainly not vanilla (He’s figured out that I like the DDLG thing—he’s a little weirded out by it, but still does it because he’s seen how much it turned me on. Same with spanking. I still haven’t gotten him quite to where I want it (I want to have trouble sitting down, I want him to make me beg for mercy—he is NOT comfortable taking it that far, so I don’t push him, but when he’ll spank me a little bit, I try to encourage him to give me more/do it harder) So as I’m typing this, I’m thinking maybe I should demand wants in which I want him to degrade me—but whilst figuring out and staying within his limits (esp since we’d both be experimenting—we may find new limits, who knows). But again—how? Without making it scary? What can I say, what can I ask him to do that will gradually lead us to the degradation path I want to be on? Ideas?