InstantInferno's Not-An-Edging Thread

[InstantInferno]

Was talked into starting one of these somehow, so... welcome to InstantInferno's Not-An-Edging Thread, where you can make me do many things except, for some odd reason, not edges. (Probably because I'm absolutely terrible at them.) Left with no opportunities for puns after the edging threads finished? Had fun (or maybe "fun") with all the little gifts I left in your thread and been looking forward to putting me on the receiving end for once? Just like the look of one of the options? Well, this is your chance!

Each post can choose from one of the following fine keywords, all designed so they shouldn't get too out of hand (that works, right?) and none of which will add any edges:

BITE - clover clamps on my nipples for 2 minutes
DEEP - I deepthroat a dildo 3 times
DRIP - five drips of candlewax at a place on my body you choose (below neck, must be able to reach it)
FUCK - I fuck my ass with a dildo for 20 strokes
SLAP - one firm-ish slap to my balls. Yes, really - just the one.
STUFF - 20 minutes plugged with large black buttplug

Additionally, every 100th post (so post 100, 200, etc) may optionally give me a short one-off custom task within my likes (less than 30 minutes), which can be in a later post for convenience. Not sure how many of those we'll actually reach - edging threads have been quite popular lately but of course this isn't one.

You may post as many times as you like, but double posting is forbidden. The thread will be open for 48 hours for you to add your chosen non-edges. Also, as a little incentive to get through the given non-edges, I will not be cumming by playing with my cock until they're done. However, I'm not currently willing to make the same guarantee for any other causes of orgasm including (but not limited to) any of the keywords given by this thread.

Have fun! Happy punning, errm, posting!