Unforgiven

[Ethan2cu]

I have been reading and enjoying very much... i haven't had a chance to get on as much as i'd like over the past week, but this story has my interest. I like very muhc how you've been building it.

I would like to see the point of view of the other characters at this time... aren't they wondering where she is?

[darebunny22]

Ahh you got my plan! I'm currently writing one from Harry's point of view,it will be out soon

[darebunny22]

I am sooo sorry for not getting back for AGES! I have been mega busy, (Same with LHL) So to make up for the long wait you have a long chapter! Yaaayy! So as I said before Harry's POV!


Harry’s POV (From just when Katie had been taken)
I walked out of the shop after looking at a few pairs of trainers, I hope I hadn’t been too long for Katie. I looked down the quiet street, she wasn’t there, ‘Oh probably went in that shoe shop she was looking at before, hope she didn’t buy those diamond shoes, they would of cost a flipping FORTUNE!’

I walked into the shoe shop and went up to the lady at the till
“Excuse me, has an eighteen year old girl been here, black hair, green eyes, very pale?”
“Erm... not that I know of Sir, I’ll ask my colleague, SALLAAYY! Has a girl been in here with black hair and pale?” The gum-chewing shop trainee asked
“No, I don’t think so Katherine, sorry”
“No there hasn’t “ Said Katherine fluttering her spiderlike eyelashes at me, I grimaced
“Well if you see her tell my girlfriend that I’m looking for her” I said outlining the word ‘Girlfriend’ to make it very clear to Katherine, the girls wide jaw carried on chewing but her eyebrow raised
“Right I’ll tell your Girlfriend that, if I see her” she looked back down at her Celebrity magazine and continued filing her long red talons, the old lady turned to me and said
“We will keep an eye out for her,” I smiled at the grey haired woman, “Sorry about her,” She said quieter gesturing at Katherine “She’s new today, and well you know” I smiled again
“Thank you anyway, Bye then” I shut the door behind me.

Ah, so Katie wasn’t in their, I got my phone and scrolled through my contacts to ‘K’ and selected Katie’s name ‘Katiebellella’ I remembered when put it in my phone, we were talking about Disney characters and came up with ‘HarryCharmingPan’ and ‘Katiebellella’ I think Katie got off better, I mean ‘HarryCharmingPan’ it sounded like some dodgy washing up advert

Damsel in distress: Oh no this stain won’t come off the pan!
Overvoice: Don’t fear HarryCharmingPan’s here!
Etc, etc.
The tone rang once, twice, three times and then went to voicemail, I left a short simple message
“Hey Kay, where are you sweetie? Ring me back yeah, Love you”
By this time I was starting to get a bit worried, I decided I’d walk up too her house. “Hello Mrs. Beaumont, How are you?”
“I’m fine Harry dear, is Katie with you?”
“Err... no, I left her outside a shop and I cant get hold of her, but I’ll check at Brads house”
“Ok then poppet, call me if you cant find her” Mrs. Beaumont was the complete opposite of her daughter, she was a typically pretty lady, blonde hair and blue eyes, her forehead was crinkled slightly in worry and her blonde hair was scraped into a bun on the top of her head,
“Sure thing, Good afternoon too you” Aww bless her soul.

I walked down too Brads house too see if they where having a nice chat or something! I knocked on the door and heard some grumbling, Brad looked round the door
“Hi Harry, what brings you here today?”
“Hey Brad, is Katie here?”
“Uuh, no I haven’t seen her since yesterdays truth or dare game, sorry”
“Right well keep an eye out for her, I’m going to Trist’s house now”
“Well you can but no one would be in cos his mum and dad are working, and I don’t know where Trist is!”
“He’s with you in there isn’t he”
“Congrats Sherlock” He said sarcastically “But I hope you find Katie, ring me in an hour if you haven’t found her by then”
“Ok, see ya later, bye Trist” I heard a faint bye from upstairs.

Now I was stuck where to go, I thought about one of her girlfriends and decided to go to one of her BFF’s house, Elise White, I wandered up the long path up to the grand white manor, I outstretched my hand to knock on the lion knocker, a middle aged woman in old fashioned clothes came to the door,
“Hello, do I know you?”
“It’s Harry from Elise’s school, I wanted to have a word with her”
“Oh are you the charming young man she was talking about, come in” I blushed
“No I don’t think it was me, and I'm ever so sorry but I'm in a bit of a hurry would it be possible for Elise too come here?”
“Yes that would be fine, I’ll call her down, ELISE!”
“Yes Mother?” I heard Elise’s voice call
“Harry’s here too see you”
“Harry?” She asked confused but I heard footsteps and Elise’s porcelain like face appear round the door, “Oh Harry! Hi, why are you here?” she asked gesturing for her mother to leave,
“I was just wondering if you knew where Katie was” Her eyes had a steely glint in them
“Oh yes, Katie, I do know something!”

To be continued!

[standard muffin]

Please post more!

[zac]

YAY XD you're back..love it! x

[Lyn]

Originally Posted by darebunny22

I hope none of you have forgotten the shady character at the sta-art!

I haven't! but maybe it's because I started reading and haven't been able to stop since then :O

You are such an amazingly talented writer. I really really really love this. Everything about it is perfect. And you've proven to everyone that a story doesn't have to have long chapters to be good, so long as the writing style is beautiful.

I love the way it reflects the characters' personalities, especially the playfulness of Harry...

Finally, I think you should add a few more descriptions of how characters are standing. In addition to facial expressions you already noted, these would provide even more depth to your characters

Cheers and good luck! I will continue reading now.

EDIT: OHmyGAWD!!! Please continue!!!

[darebunny22]

Thanks glad you all like it, and Thanks Lyn I'll keep the posture and the way they are standing in mind for the rest of the story And don't worry it will be continuing, soon I hope

[darebunny22]

“What do you know Elise?”
“You will have to find out” she said outstretching her long pale fingers to me I frowned “Mother!” She called “Me and Har are just going up stairs for a chat” I frowned again ‘Har?’ and when did I agree to this chat? She grabbed my hand and pulled me upstairs. Locking the door behind her she kicked of her black dolly shoes to display pale slender ankles “Harry, Harry, Harry, well you're looking for Katie are you, perfect, delicate little Katie” She spoke with a hateful venom in her voice
“But your Kays best friend?” I said confused
“But your Kays best friend” She mimicked “I was ‘Kays best friend’ until she ruined my life”
“What did Katie do?” Her purpley eyes penetrated into my soul
“What didn’t she do?” she pushed me against the wall, “Why don’t you leave Katie, take me instead” Her cold voice was suddenly husky, I shook my head
“No sorry, I was asking about Katie, can you answer please. Where is she?”
“Oh we don’t need Katie do we? Hmm?” I was about to object but she placed her cold finger on my lips and placed her hands on my chest, rubbing up and down, I cringed against the wall
“Elise, please err... get off me,” I said awkwardly, “I’m sorry, I'm with Katie not you” I took her hands off me and squeezed out of her reach “Thanks for talking to me, but if your not going to say anything useful, I’ll have to leave”
“OK OK OK! Just leave then” I frowned again
“Goodbye Elise” I went down the stairs and bid farewell to Mrs. White, and got out of the house as quick as I could. Oh god that kid was a freak; I wonder what Katie did, knowing by Elise’s actions it was probably that she ‘stole’ me from Elise! But I was still no closer to the mystery. Suddenly I heard an anguished scream from Elise’s room,
“GOD OLIVER, I GET IT!” then her phone flew out of the window and I picked it up off the gravel path, on the screen it said, ‘Oliver: Disconnected’ I frowned, had this got anything to do with Oliver? Well the guy was clearly still mad over Katie, even after what he did too her. Why hadn’t I thought of Oliver before? I sprinted down to his house, I knew the route, because we used to be best friends. God I was pretty worried right now, and god my hair was being so irritating, I should cut it all off! (even though Katie would hate me forever! She loves my hair) I knocked on the door, the haughty features of Oliver’s mother appeared behind the door, when she saw me her upturned nose wrinkled slightly and her perfectly sharpened eyebrows vanished into her hairline,
“Harry, its been a while”
“Yes, well you see...” I started
“Oliver’s not here Harry” She interrupted, I smiled at her, well half smiled, it really got everyone’s attention, especially Katie’s
“Oh, thank you Eira, I was just wondering if you knew the whereabouts of Katie?” her well held neck arched backwards as she surveyed me with ice cold eyes,
Katie? No... No I don’t” she said all of the words with a cold mist that fluttered around the words like snow, I tried to say goodbye but she cut in front of me again, “Goodbye Harry, thank you for taking your time to talk with me” She almost hissed the last couple of words and I flicked my hair out of my eyes and tried to say goodbye to her again but she slammed the door shut in my face. I grabbed Elise’s phone out of my pocket as it vibrated in my hand,
‘El, where are you? R U Comin 2 ‘The Place’ hav u tlkd 2 hry? C U Oliver’ I froze, ‘The Place’ I wondered, then ‘The Place’ all became very, clear too me. Too clear.

To Be Continued
Done Next Chapter up soon, Please COMMENT guys <3 Lots of love

Darebunny22 xxx

[Ethan2cu]

NICE! VERY NICE!!!! I'm sitting on pins and needles.. can't wait to find out where "the PLACE" is .

[darebunny22]

Right, I'm not sure many of you got my subtle hint of COMMENT! But all jokes aside, I would appreciate some feedback?! Anyways, back to my Curly Harry are you Confuddled about this 'Place'? Some secrets will be solved now !!!!


I scrambled through the overgrowth, the thorns ripping at my shirt and I came quickly to the big deserted house. This was the place me, Katie, Elise and Oliver used to play when we were in primary school, we named it ‘The Place’ so no one would no where we went, it was an old Victorian mansion, still fully furnished but completely boarded off, there was only one way in. A way, as far as I knew, only me, Katie, Elise and Oliver knew. I crawled in the back doorway, the pane of glass that was missing provided a perfect entrance... When we were seven. I slid through and took in the familiar surrounding’s of the kitchen, there where wrappers everywhere, things like a really, really old version of a Smartie’s tube, at least six years old, yuck. I heard a scuffling upstairs, I had them, soon enough I’d be able to see Katie again, when I thought about it I realised how much I missed my baby girl. Running up the stairs I found Oliver sheepishly rushing down the stairs,
“Oliver! Where’s Katie?” I said accusingly
“Urr... I dunno” He said unconvincingly
“Oliver?” my heart was pounding and I had to push my curls out of my face Again
“Thats right, but I’m not Katie, I don’t flutter my little eyelashes like she does when you flick you’re hair about” This comment reminded me of a song, What Make’s You Beautiful, by One Direction, every time it said ‘when you flip your hair’ she did some crazy mad hair flipping thing, my heart twinged,
“Where is she Olly?” His face went red and he came very close to my face
“Don’t call me Olly” he snarled
“OK then Oliver, but where the hell is Katie?”
“Don’t take that tone with me Harry”
“Or what? Youre not my Mum Oliver” I said trying to keep calm, his face went pink
“I know, are you stupid?”
“Oliver, answer me, where is Katie?” I asked now concerned, he shrugged and glanced slightly upstairs, I pushed past him and sped up the stairs, him on my heels trying to drag me down. I was face with the attic, dark and gloomy, the room had vile contraptions everywhere, handcuffs, bondages, locks and racks. I stared at Oliver, “What the hell mate? Have you done any of this too Katie?” I asked feeling the urge too punch him but my worst nightmares where answered when I saw Katie’s pink blouse and black skirt, the clothes she came out too see me in, on the floor, ripped. I stared at him and my jaw twitched, “Why Oliver?” I asked sadly and then realised a more pressing matter, apart from me and Oliver, the room was empty.

TO BE CONTINUED! Please please pleasy please please comment

[Lyn]

This is, by far, one of the most engaging stories I've read in a very long time!!! it's absolutely amazing.

Please keep writing

Your attention to detail and expertly woven plot make for some amazing reading.

I love you! <3

[darebunny22]

Heya guy's, I would really like too know whos reading and whether they like the story or not Soo give us a shout yeah? xx
BTW Ta Lyn for the positive feedback, I'm touched :')



Katies, POV

What did that evil perverted freak think? Leaving me in an unlocked room with a big open window, the only problem was... I had no clothes. Easy Peasy Hogwarts Squeasy. I rushed to the small blockish bathroom and grabbed a dust covered towel that looked more grey than white, I grabbed it and wrapped it round me and without even thinking threw my self through the window. Glass clung too my skin and hair as I landed on the big oak tree.
“Argh... Sugarlumps!” I yelped as I picked a piece of glass from my neck, I must of looked a right state, tears falling freely off my face, a towel wrapped around me and blood seeping everywhere. At least I was free, I knew exactly where too go... Brad’s house. I sprinted up to his house, the cold pavement ripping my feet. People stared at me but I needed to get far away from ‘The Place’, as far away as possible. I knocked quickly on Brad’s door and it opened almost instantly,
“Harry? KATIE!” He said grabbing me in a hug, I flinched “Oh Katie sweetie, what have you done?” Tears lapped my face but I managed to murmur
“Clothes, please do you have clothes?” Brad nodded looking worried
“Trist!” He called “Come here we’ve got Katie!” Trist walked through and smiled warmly at me, I lifted my trembling hand into a wave and he waved back at me. “Right clothes sweetheart, but first Harry” I nodded appreciatively, too shocked too speak, “Don’t worry hun, we’ll fix you up in just a second” Brad added. I heard the dial of the phone and heard Harry’s cute voice, worried.
“Hi Brad, I haven’t...”
“Cool it Hazzaaa, we have her here, looking a bit bedraggled and all that bu...”
“Oh praise the Lord, I’m coming over right now” He sighed in relief and cut off,
“That was yo baby Harry?” Tristan called from the other room, Brad answered for me
“Yep that was Hazza,” I frowned at the nickname and Brad’s chuckle escaped from his slightly parted lips “Come on now Katie, off too the bathroom!” I rolled my eyes silently and he scooped me up into his arms, “Tristle?”
“What?”
“When Harry comes, let him in and send him up yeah?”
“Uh-hu, Kay honey” Brad smiled down at me and carried me to the large bathroom, “Do you want a shower?” I nodded and he put me down, “I’ll wait outside with clothes” I smiled and wondered how he would get girls clothes but got into the big bath shower anyway, I decided to have a warm bath because my body was aching everywhere, and I mean ‘Everywhere’. The therapeutic sound of running water calmed me as the bath filled up quickly, I thought about ‘Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire’ and remembered his description of the taps with all the different bubble’s, I smiled, ‘God I am such a Harry Potter nerd’ and ‘Oh yes another Harry I like, though not in a Harry Styles, My Harry like way!’ I flinched as something pressed into my foot, I lifted my leg up too see shards of glass sprinkling my body like ice, I got into the bath washing away the glass, dirt and blood from my body as well as my mind.
“Kario?”
“Huh?” I asked confused “Kario?”
“Yeah Kario, are you ready yet”
“Yep I am one second,” I said grabbing the clean towel from the side and quickly drying myself and wrapping it around me,
“Woohoo you’re talking! And I have girl clothes!” I opened the door to see Brad standing with a pile of purple and black clothes, “Come take a peek!” He led me through to his older sister’s bedroom
“Won’t Seraphine mind?”
“Ohh Serry won’t mind a bit honey!” Seraphine was Brad’s older sister who now lived on her own in America, Brad placed a row of clothes on the bed, a plain purple T-Shirt, little denim shorts, long black leggings and underwear.
“Oh My Lord Brad I could kiss you!” I said hugging him tightly then getting the clothes on
“Don’t let Harry see!” He joked and I giggled, “So what did happen?” I paused while slipping on the shorts, I only could mutter one word
“Oliver”
TO BE CONTINUED!!!

Love you guys <3 What do you think? xxx

[Ethan2cu]

I can only utter one word, well maybe two.. "great story"

[Silvercola]

I like . Please more

[darebunny22]

Yay Chapter 22 by darebunny22 <3 xx The story moves on


“Katie sugarplum, tell me what happened!” I shivered and shook my head
“I’m not ready to talk about it yet, sorry Brad” He nodded slowly just then Harry burst through the door,
“Katie!” He whispered shocked and I ran to hug him, I felt a soft, wet tear fall onto the top of my head, “Katie, don’t go missing ever again, you worried me so much” he said squeezing me into his chest, I was about to tell him that it wasn’t when he tilted my chin back and kissed me with so much passion I was lifted off my feet. I heard Brad shuffling away awkwardly after a few moments. Harry’s lips where gentle and soft and they tasted like melted chocolate. I ran my fingers through his gorgeous curly hair and giggled into his lips. We broke apart. “Katie, what have you done?” He whispered “ You have cuts everywhere”
“I jumped through a window”
“WHAT?!”
“Yeah I had to escape,”
“Honey pie” He said huskily “I was downstairs trying to rush to your rescue when you jumped out of the window” I frowned
“Yeah, well I didn’t know that then” I said smiling at him, I did a half smile down at me,
“Come on then sweetie-pie, I think yo peeps are waiting downstairs for you”
“Please, please never say ‘Yo Peeps’ ever again” I said batting my eyelashes at him, he rolled his eyes and scooted me down the stairs,
“Katie!” Brad and Trist said running up to me, “How are you?” Trist asked concerned,
“I’m fine... oh well who am I kidding, I'm not fine” I sighed
“What did that son of a cow do to you?” Tristan demanded
“Son of a cow?” I asked confused
“You know, Oliver” I blushed and Harry squeezed my hand
“Well he abused me for days and days!”
“Hunny?” Harry asked gently, I looked up into his innocent brown eyes, “Katie, you were only missing for a few hours, like fourteen hours at the most, he said gesturing to the cold morning light coming from the window, I looked out
“Well it felt like years” I said quietly trying to force those memories away, suddenly a lone tear framed my chin, followed by several others. Harry hugged me again, tousling my still wet hair, I gave him a watery smile. Brad and Tristan made retching noises from the other side of the room and I rolled my eyes at them both, “Well are you gonna offer me any food or a drink” I asked batting my eyelashes at Brad
“Well I wasn’t” he teased “But would you like something?”
“Yes please... Coke and biscuits? Chocolate biscuits?”
“Ok Kaitlin” he said slouching to the fridge and grabbing the suggested food, “Choc digestives and coke, un-diet of course, M’lady” He said mocking a bow and giving me the food. I ate the biscuits as quick as ever, I was absolutely starving. Brad and Tristan where talking quietly to Harry as I gulped down my drink. I turned to face them and Harry’s beautiful brown eyes looked into mine,
“Katie, we’re going to ring the police”
“What? No Don’t!”

TO BE CONTINUED!

Please can I have some feedback off the people who are reading? XXXX