Late Night Swim [NON-FICTION] - Page 2

qwertypete · 04-14-2008, 12:52 PM

awesome story... good job, very exciting!

olivedivon · 12-17-2008, 03:10 PM

this is one of the best stories I have ever read! keep it up!

nightmare09 · 12-17-2008, 03:31 PM

it is sweet i wolud like u to go on

Officelover · 12-19-2008, 10:33 AM

'i' think that you should use"I" instead of 'i'.

i think it is really annoying.

i also think you should put more into your paragraphs.

i believe that a paragraph should have at least three sentences in it.

i do know of the exception of quotations.

i also think that you should stop starting all your paragraphs/sentences with 'i'.

@ppl3 · 12-20-2008, 06:17 AM

That was a completly amazing story.

Quote:

'i' think that you should use"I" instead of 'i'.

i think it is really annoying.

i also think you should put more into your paragraphs.

i believe that a paragraph should have at least three sentences in it.

i do know of the exception of quotations.

i also think that you should stop starting all your paragraphs/sentences with 'i'.

Stop moaning!!!!
Using i makes it more dramatic in addition to the emphasis of it being personal, therefore making it sound more real which in turns entertains the audience more. It is a technique used by some writers / poets.
Varying sentence length as well as using short/ long paragraphs is another technique used a lot among professional poets and writers, to help entertain there audience.
and yes i agree the i should be a capital, but the writing is SOOOOO GOOD that i don't notice it. I'm sure that there isn't a single person who consciously writes "I" instead of "i". You either remember or if your typing on word/publisher ect does it for you.

to conclude i think it was a wonderful piece of writing and got me hard

but then reading someone post got me slightly annoyed

Hampers · 12-20-2008, 06:45 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by @ppl3

, but the writing is SOOOOO GOOD that i don't notice it. I'm sure that there isn't a single person who consciously writes "I" instead of "i".

i do. i always have done and i always will.

dtv123 · 04-19-2009, 11:02 AM

if you do this again please write another story this one is like my all-time favorite

rebster · 05-29-2009, 04:54 PM

Very nice. Sounds like something I would would do in real life.

Drobs · 05-29-2009, 06:53 PM

i never comment, ever- this made me. twas extraordinary

Person · 06-03-2009, 10:45 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Officelover

'i' think that you should use"I" instead of 'i'.

i think it is really annoying.

i also think you should put more into your paragraphs.

i believe that a paragraph should have at least three sentences in it.

i do know of the exception of quotations.

i also think that you should stop starting all your paragraphs/sentences with 'i'.

Lol you should be a comedian.

12-17-2008, 03:10 PM	#17
olivedivon Account Banned Join Date: Dec 2008 Posts: 34	good this is one of the best stories I have ever read! keep it up! __________________ picture Jimi Hendrixs. now picture Jimmy Page. Now picture them together! Isn't that creepy? but the awesomeness of it resembles something close to me. 14/m/usa

12-17-2008, 03:31 PM	#18
nightmare09 Account Banned Join Date: Oct 2008 Location: michigan Posts: 125 Blog Entries: 1	please it is sweet i wolud like u to go on

12-19-2008, 10:33 AM	#19
Officelover Truth or Dare Enthusiast Join Date: May 2008 Location: New England Posts: 2,602 Blog Entries: 107	'i' think that you should use"I" instead of 'i'. i think it is really annoying. i also think you should put more into your paragraphs. i believe that a paragraph should have at least three sentences in it. i do know of the exception of quotations. i also think that you should stop starting all your paragraphs/sentences with 'i'. __________________ 20 Trans Femme Nonbinary Ass Collector Writes Poetry On Aluminum Foil with Gold Gel Pens Fills Mason Jar with Vodka I'm Doing A Cleanse White Kid with Black Nails

05-29-2009, 06:53 PM	#24
Drobs Junior Member Join Date: Sep 2008 Posts: 2	incredible i never comment, ever- this made me. twas extraordinary

04-14-2008, 12:52 PM	#16
qwertypete Distinguished Member Join Date: Sep 2007 Location: Canada Posts: 937 Blog Entries: 1	awesome story... good job, very exciting!

04-19-2009, 11:02 AM	#22
dtv123 Account Banned Join Date: Aug 2008 Posts: 34	if you do this again please write another story this one is like my all-time favorite

05-29-2009, 04:54 PM	#23
rebster Junior Member Join Date: Apr 2008 Location: Mississippi Posts: 22	Very nice. Sounds like something I would would do in real life.