"Will You Be My Master?"

[Iawyn]

Over the past few days I have been getting more and more messages of people asking me to be their master for them, and it absolutely drives me nuts to the point where I want to rip out my hair and scream at them. Maybe a little bit extreme, but there are reasons for my views on this.

One: If you are seriously looking to me to be your 'Master' then odds are you have either seen my post somewhere or have looked at my profile page. Assuming you have done one of two things, you will see that in my signature I have stated that I currently have a Master (which to me, sounds like I enjoy being a submissive). On my profile page I have actually very specifically stated such. "a submissive girl looking for ways to make things more fun." I even say that I am interested in "Truths, Dares, General banter, Being a 'dare slave'." Absolutely nowhere could you possibly get the hint that I have any intentions of being someone's Master for them.

Two: Perhaps this is just me, but I find it HORRIBLY rude for any slave to ask any person to be their owner. Especially when the person being asked is a slave as well. That is asking them to go out of their way and devote time for you, to train you and to make you feel complete, which is even more rude considering a lot of these pages are coming from/going to random people that barely know each other. I have been a slave to a couple of different Masters, and never once have I ever asked anyone to do this for me. It is far more polite and natural for the submissive of the two to wait until the dominant makes that claim for his/her self.

Three: Accepting just anyone as your Master. A D/s relationship takes time and trust to develop. Another reason that people asking you to collar them is so annoying. You shouldn't be able to put your trust into just anyone. That is a serious factor between anyone pursuing this kind of relationship. I have used this analogy many times before, but for me, as a submissive, I should be able to walk across a highway with oncoming traffic and know that the person who is leading me (my Master) would never do anything that would put me in danger, or even at risk. This is obviously something that you should never do, but the idea remains the same. I have to have faith in him and know that no matter what, I am in good hands. I absolutely cannot accept just any person with my health and safety, and neither should anyone looking for someone to be their owner.

Bottom line, being a Master or a slave is a long term commitment. It requires patience and understanding. Even if you're just looking for someone to play the roll of one for a day or two, I firmly believe that this "Will you be my master?" bit should be avoided in general. It's less about being an actual owner and moreso about claiming temporary control until they get sick of each other. Although I am sure there are some rare situations where this has worked out nicely for some people.

Anyways, that's my rant for the day. I am always interested to see anyone else's views on this if there are any, which I am sure there are.

[Rose_Angel]

It is ridiculous how many messages I get to be someone's Mistress, especially when my signature says that I'm not looking for anymore so please stop asking. And I agree that it is disrespectful for a complete stranger to ask someone to be their owner or slave, unless either have made an advertisement, which I'll get to soon. I do, however, respectfully disagree with some of your points.

One:

I myself was ONLY a submissive when I came to this site. I had no interest in being a dominant of any type. I came here and made friends with most, and ended up enjoying to submitting to a select few. Somewhere along the line, I started giving out punishments, and working with the people who private messaged me for modifications, which is something I enjoyed. I never even intended on finding my subs (but figured if I were to have any I'd only want one, but things have a way of working out otherwise).

While that is clearly not the same situation you're in, several believe that being a good sub makes you a good Master, which I personally don't know if I agree or disagree with the statement. I'll say this though, I recall seeing your posts, and I truly thought you were a Dom. I never looked into it, nor looked at your signature (don't look at many unless I'm asked for a task), nor looked at your profile.

Two:

While I've never made one myself, as I wouldn't want to open myself up to the general public of gD, all subs, doms, and switches can make advertisements. So to try and say that only doms should ask the sub to temporarily own them is something I also disagree with, as I see nothing wrong with subs inquiring into a dom (who has a well-thought out ad) to show their interest.

Aside from that though, as I've never used that system... I still don't see a problem with it, as long as there has been prior contact, and it has been done respectfully. For instance, while it was running, I was helping out with the Male Slave Contest, and the participants of it would message me for the permission to cum, which generally meant I created a task for them to complete. I also gave one special dare. So one of my subs and I essentially met via that contest. He enjoyed my tasks (as did several others), and I enjoyed his reports greatly, as well as his honest feedback. I began to think that if I were to want to have a long term D/s relationship, that he would be someone I would want to have as my sub. I was honored when he sent me a very well-written request, while also mentioning that he understood if I wouldn't be interested. So I think it's all really based on current situations. I've never asked someone to be my sub, and I'm perfectly content with that.

I think ideally, my subs would have sought out a friendship with me first before asking, but it makes no real difference now in my opinion, as a friendship was easily developed with both.

Three:

I whole-heartedly agree that subs shouldn't accept just anyone as their Master, but I also agree that no one should blindly accept someone as their sub. It is a long-term commitment, and I think in the ideal world, that both in the D/s relationship should put a near amount of equal effort into it. As a Mistress who essentially demands there be a friendship involved with a D/s relationship, I need to be able to trust my sub just as much, as I may share some reasonable and slightly personal information about myself, and I need to be able to trust them with any information I give. I understand that not all D/s relationships include a real friendship, but I wouldn't be interested in one without it.

[Iawyn]

Originally Posted by RoseBrat89

While that is clearly not the same situation you're in, several believe that being a good sub makes you a good Master, which I personally don't know if I agree or disagree with the statement. I'll say this though, I recall seeing your posts, and I truly thought you were a Dom. I never looked into it, nor looked at your signature (don't look at many unless I'm asked for a task), nor looked at your profile.

I'm actually quite surprised to hear you say that. I never -ever- would have seen myself coming across as anything close to the opposite. As for the being a good sub makes you a good Dom bit, I can personally say that this is very much the case for me. I would never be good at it, though I have tried a couple times, and it doesn't exactly work out very well. To be honest, I tried the switch thing at first, which was fun in it's own way, but I started to find that if I ever stepped out of line or even attempted at assuming control, my inner self was just begging to be put back in my place. My current Master is actually trying to teach me to not be SO submissive. I'm to the point where if I feel I did anything wrong, even if I happen to disagree with someone, I'm apologizing for it. It's a work in progress, but eventually I hope to get out of this state.

Originally Posted by RoseBrat89

While I've never made one myself, as I wouldn't want to open myself up to the general public of gD, all subs, doms, and switches can make advertisements. So to try and say that only doms should ask the sub to temporarily own them is something I also disagree with, as I see nothing wrong with subs inquiring into a dom (who has a well-thought out ad) to show their interest.

Aside from that though, as I've never used that system... I still don't see a problem with it, as long as there has been prior contact, and it has been done respectfully. For instance, while it was running, I was helping out with the Male Slave Contest, and the participants of it would message me for the permission to cum, which generally meant I created a task for them to complete. I also gave one special dare. So one of my subs and I essentially met via that contest. He enjoyed my tasks (as did several others), and I enjoyed his reports greatly, as well as his honest feedback. I began to think that if I were to want to have a long term D/s relationship, that he would be someone I would want to have as my sub. I was honored when he sent me a very well-written request, while also mentioning that he understood if I wouldn't be interested. So I think it's all really based on current situations. I've never asked someone to be my sub, and I'm perfectly content with that.

I think ideally, my subs would have sought out a friendship with me first before asking, but it makes no real difference now in my opinion, as a friendship was easily developed with both.

I was a bit worried I may have worded this the wrong way. Please let me try to further explain. I don't find it wrong for a sub to express interest, per say. I find that to be much more polite in letting the Dom know that there is an attraction there. Although I think I would have to agree with your point that it would be far better if there was a relationship first that showed potential that there could be more than just being friends. I am personally far too timid to just come out and confess something like that, even if it is obvious. I suppose my complaint would be better explained as having random subs come out of nowhere and blast out questions like that without even so much of a curiosity as to who you are as a person, or even if you are compatible enough to get along or not.

Originally Posted by RoseBrat89

I whole-heartedly agree that subs shouldn't accept just anyone as their Master, but I also agree that no one should blindly accept someone as their sub. It is a long-term commitment, and I think in the ideal world, that both in the D/s relationship should put a near amount of equal effort into it. As a Mistress who essentially demands there be a friendship involved with a D/s relationship, I need to be able to trust my sub just as much, as I may share some reasonable and slightly personal information about myself, and I need to be able to trust them with any information I give. I understand that not all D/s relationships include a real friendship, but I wouldn't be interested in one without it.

I will admit I do agree with you on this as well. It is just as important for the Dom to not agree to anything so quickly as far as making a claim goes. To me, it would be far more plausible to accept anyone as your sudden boyfriend/girlfriend than it would be Master/slave. With a casual relationship, you have the option to back out at any point, although granted things might get messy depending on who the person is that you're dating. But in D/s situations, it is entirely possible that you are now looking into bondage, and the whole point of bondage is to feel vulnerable and be left entirely to the Dom on what to be done with. Yes, there are safe words, but if said Dom doesn't want to listen, then what are you going to do?


I suppose my concern and annoyance is moreso that there are people on here asking/begging out of the blue for relationships that I honestly feel need a lot more communication and trust than how a ten year old would go about dating. "Do you want to be my boyfriend/girlfriend?" "Okay!"

That being said, thank you for your reply. I do appreciate when someone takes time out of their day to converse with me about something that means a great deal to someone like myself.

[Cupid Stunts]

... but will you be my Master?

Jokes!