Not her smartest idea [fiction]

smaster16 · 04-17-2009, 02:45 AM

Hey hey just a quick word before the story starts this is my first story ever written here on Get-dare so please be kind and if something is wrong don't hate me or I'll be sad

Lauren was a maturing adolescent, she was 15 with long chestnut colored hair; she was very beautiful and was a bit daring. Lauren had invited two of her friends over one night to play a little truth or dare. Her parents would be out for the entire weekend and she had no siblings so there would be no one to disturb the game.

Hannah and Gemma arrived at Lauren's house at 8:00pm, she had told them before they came to be prepared for T or D and they were. The three girls went into Lauren's living room and sat down in a small circle on the floor. The game started out pretty tame with the girls choosing truth; Gemma asked Lauren what her fetish (which was surprisingly feet). Then Lauren asked Hannah who she had a crush on, which was a boy in their class named Josh and finally Hannah asked Gemma if she has ever masturbated and she had.

Lauren being the daring one of the group decided that the game was dull and demanded a dare right now. Gemma and Hannah started whispering to each other and then look at Lauren. Hannah brushed her long blond her out of her eyes and said "We dare you to take all of your clothes off and let us tie you down to your bed and if you don't accept the dare we will have to make you do it!"

Lauren hesitated she hadn't expected this, she really only had one choice so she went with it. She stood up and undid her skirt and let it slide down to her ankles, she then pulled her pink t-shirt over her head and dropped it now her matching green bra and panties were in plain site. She looked down she was a bit embarrassed that she was doing this but at the same time she was excited, she reached behind her back and undid her bra, Gemma and Hannah were smiling at this point. Lauren's green bra floated to the floor she quickly moved her arms to cover up her young maturing breasts, now with one hand she slowly pulled down her underwear and dropped it on the floor too. She was getting wet between her legs now, this was the most excited she had been in a long time. Hannah stood and picked up all of Lauren's clothes while Gemma slipt behind and pulled a blindfold around Lauren's eyes and a gag in her mouth.

Feed back would be appreciated, like if i should continue... etc!

Officelover · 04-17-2009, 11:38 AM

Hi,

Welcome to getDare! I like yor writing style, and think that so far this story is pretty good. My only suggestion is that maybe you should slow it down a bit.

~Officelover

PS- I don't hate you.

pranadevil · 04-17-2009, 11:51 AM

Have to agree, not a bad story, but could do with slowing down a bit, nothing worse than the story being rushed through too quick (well, except perhaps one which takes an age to get anywhere, need to have a happy medium).

Oh, and I don't hate ya either :P.

BettyBoop · 04-17-2009, 11:57 AM

Seems like it could be good, but definitely rushed, and because it's so speedy it seems very unrealistic. The way they went from innocent. tame tares to stripping nude and being tied down.

Coyote · 04-17-2009, 12:28 PM

Good beginning. It is rushed but has potential. You could have expanded on the setting,characters and basically the whole background for the story a little more. Keep writing, practice makes peerfict

smaster16 · 04-17-2009, 06:03 PM

Hey thanks for all the replies, so far and I'll take your advice it does need slowing down. So I'll start slowing it from the next section... which might be posted sometime todayish!

smaster16 · 04-18-2009, 12:28 AM

Lauren was blind and she couldn't speak, she was beginning to realize that playing truth or dare was not her smartest idea! She felt one of her friends grab her shoulders and gently push forward. Lauren presumed she was being lead to her bedroom. The carpet was soft on her feet and she could feel the gentle night breeze flowing in from an open window. Lauren could here her friends whispering to each other, but she couldn't make out what they were saying. Now she was being pushed to the left and since this was her house she recognized that they were entering her bedroom. She felt a strong shove and she fell awkwardly onto her bed. One of her friends rolled her onto her back and grabbed her legs. She heard Hannah say "Good thing we came prepared". Lauren heard a rattling sound and felt a cool metal touch her skin; Lauren was guessing that her two friends had brought handcuffs! Now there was a pair of handcuffs around both her ankles. Lauren was getting even more worried she couldn't cover herself without her hands. She felt a pair of hands grab her own and slowly pull them above her head; now Lauren was fully exposed as she was shackled to the bedhead.

Lauren was completely naked in front of her two friends and she couldn't move, but for some reason she was excited; hundreds of thoughts were running through her head like what would they do now, why wasn't she afraid of what would happen or what did her friends want? Lauren felt a hand stroke her hair and start to move down her face, as the hand brushed lightly down her body Lauren shuddered. The hand moved down onto her breasts and circled her erect nipple, just taunting her. The hand continued slowly down onto her stomach and then down even further missing her wet pussy but rubbing her inner thigh and then down her long tan legs and onto her feet.

Lauren heard Gemma say that they should take some photos so thy could always remember tonight. There was some more movement in the room before Lauren heard Hannah say "smile"! There was a click and a flash, then another and another. Lauren felt a hand undo her gag and pull it away before one of her friends planted a long passionate kiss on Lauren's lips. Lauren didn't know what to make of her situation now but she heard Gemma say "Well all this excitement has made me tired, I'm turning in. You two can have some alone time now!".

If you would be so kind I would like a little more feedback on this section just to know how it's going. Thanks in advance

pranadevil · 04-18-2009, 12:45 AM

The pace of that one was definitely better, and the story itself is pretty good

.

Only thing I'd say this time is it could do with being a bit longer in each section. Not in so much as stretching it out, but doing more per post. Of course that's more just me being picky as it's still a good solid story

.

smaster16 · 04-18-2009, 12:48 AM

Yeah sorry the posts aren't that long but next time I'll make the section longer, but that is in due season!

ccent · 04-18-2009, 10:44 AM

it's great pealse keep going and do it soon
make it kinda groos to

Officelover · 04-18-2009, 02:10 PM

Much better!

Officelover

P.S. I still don't hate you!

smaster16 · 04-18-2009, 09:24 PM

Lauren went to speak but Hannah put finger over her mouth and told Lauren to wait a little longer. Hannah untied Lauren's blindfold and pulled it away from her eyes. Hannah pulled her T-shirt above her head and threw it onto the ground. Hannah ran her hands down her own body onto her skirt; she then pushed it down to her feet. Lauren could see Hannah's black lace underwear in the dim light of her room. Hannah stepped onto the bed bed and sat down over Lauren. Hannah reached behind her back and undid her bra clip; Hannah just let her bra fall onto Lauren. Lauren was shocked at what was happening, as Hannah lay down on top of her. Lauren could feel Hannah's warm breath on her face; Hannah planted a kiss on one of Lauren's erect nipples, drawing circles with her tongue. Hannah moved down running her tongue down Lauren until she reached her wet shaven pussy. Hannah planted a kiss, which caused Lauren to shiver.

Hannah took one of her fingers and pushed it deep inside Lauren; Hannah pulled her finger out from inside Lauren and brought it up to her cherry red lips, to taste Lauren’s flowing juices. Hannah reached down again thrusting two fingers into Lauren. Lauren let out a slight moan; she was in pain but she wanted more. Hannah moved in and out again and again, gradually using more fingers, Lauren couldn’t help herself when Hannah was using three fingers Lauren started to moan, she hadn’t ever felt anything like what she was feeling now. Hannah stopped, she got up from the bed and grabbed the key to Lauren’s handcuffs; she unlocked the handcuffs and lied back down on the bed. The two lay there in the bed staring into each other’s eyes. Lauren had never expected this when the night had first started, but she wouldn’t change it no matter what, in fact maybe it was her smartest idea!

The End.
Sorry if the ending was rushed, but it was my first time writing remember. If you have feedback I would love to hear it, good or bad except if it's bad then don't tell me

04-17-2009, 02:45 AM	#1
smaster16 Junior Member Join Date: Apr 2009 Location: In a country, with this state also in a house Posts: 11	Not her smartest idea [fiction] Hey hey just a quick word before the story starts this is my first story ever written here on Get-dare so please be kind and if something is wrong don't hate me or I'll be sad Lauren was a maturing adolescent, she was 15 with long chestnut colored hair; she was very beautiful and was a bit daring. Lauren had invited two of her friends over one night to play a little truth or dare. Her parents would be out for the entire weekend and she had no siblings so there would be no one to disturb the game. Hannah and Gemma arrived at Lauren's house at 8:00pm, she had told them before they came to be prepared for T or D and they were. The three girls went into Lauren's living room and sat down in a small circle on the floor. The game started out pretty tame with the girls choosing truth; Gemma asked Lauren what her fetish (which was surprisingly feet). Then Lauren asked Hannah who she had a crush on, which was a boy in their class named Josh and finally Hannah asked Gemma if she has ever masturbated and she had. Lauren being the daring one of the group decided that the game was dull and demanded a dare right now. Gemma and Hannah started whispering to each other and then look at Lauren. Hannah brushed her long blond her out of her eyes and said "We dare you to take all of your clothes off and let us tie you down to your bed and if you don't accept the dare we will have to make you do it!" Lauren hesitated she hadn't expected this, she really only had one choice so she went with it. She stood up and undid her skirt and let it slide down to her ankles, she then pulled her pink t-shirt over her head and dropped it now her matching green bra and panties were in plain site. She looked down she was a bit embarrassed that she was doing this but at the same time she was excited, she reached behind her back and undid her bra, Gemma and Hannah were smiling at this point. Lauren's green bra floated to the floor she quickly moved her arms to cover up her young maturing breasts, now with one hand she slowly pulled down her underwear and dropped it on the floor too. She was getting wet between her legs now, this was the most excited she had been in a long time. Hannah stood and picked up all of Lauren's clothes while Gemma slipt behind and pulled a blindfold around Lauren's eyes and a gag in her mouth. Feed back would be appreciated, like if i should continue... etc!

04-17-2009, 11:38 AM	#2
Officelover Truth or Dare Enthusiast Join Date: May 2008 Location: New England Posts: 2,602 Blog Entries: 107	Hi, Welcome to getDare! I like yor writing style, and think that so far this story is pretty good. My only suggestion is that maybe you should slow it down a bit. ~Officelover PS- I don't hate you. __________________ 20 Trans Femme Nonbinary Ass Collector Writes Poetry On Aluminum Foil with Gold Gel Pens Fills Mason Jar with Vodka I'm Doing A Cleanse White Kid with Black Nails Last edited by Officelover; 04-17-2009 at 11:39 AM. Reason: Sweet

04-17-2009, 11:57 AM	#4
BettyBoop Angel of Dare Join Date: Apr 2008 Location: England. Posts: 8,249 Blog Entries: 105	Seems like it could be good, but definitely rushed, and because it's so speedy it seems very unrealistic. The way they went from innocent. tame tares to stripping nude and being tied down. __________________ ★Boop Boop de Boop.★ female, engurrland. Ask me anything, click. My tumblr. 18+ ▼

04-17-2009, 06:03 PM	#6
smaster16 Junior Member Join Date: Apr 2009 Location: In a country, with this state also in a house Posts: 11	Thanks! Hey thanks for all the replies, so far and I'll take your advice it does need slowing down. So I'll start slowing it from the next section... which might be posted sometime todayish!

04-18-2009, 12:28 AM	#7
smaster16 Junior Member Join Date: Apr 2009 Location: In a country, with this state also in a house Posts: 11	Part 2 Lauren was blind and she couldn't speak, she was beginning to realize that playing truth or dare was not her smartest idea! She felt one of her friends grab her shoulders and gently push forward. Lauren presumed she was being lead to her bedroom. The carpet was soft on her feet and she could feel the gentle night breeze flowing in from an open window. Lauren could here her friends whispering to each other, but she couldn't make out what they were saying. Now she was being pushed to the left and since this was her house she recognized that they were entering her bedroom. She felt a strong shove and she fell awkwardly onto her bed. One of her friends rolled her onto her back and grabbed her legs. She heard Hannah say "Good thing we came prepared". Lauren heard a rattling sound and felt a cool metal touch her skin; Lauren was guessing that her two friends had brought handcuffs! Now there was a pair of handcuffs around both her ankles. Lauren was getting even more worried she couldn't cover herself without her hands. She felt a pair of hands grab her own and slowly pull them above her head; now Lauren was fully exposed as she was shackled to the bedhead. Lauren was completely naked in front of her two friends and she couldn't move, but for some reason she was excited; hundreds of thoughts were running through her head like what would they do now, why wasn't she afraid of what would happen or what did her friends want? Lauren felt a hand stroke her hair and start to move down her face, as the hand brushed lightly down her body Lauren shuddered. The hand moved down onto her breasts and circled her erect nipple, just taunting her. The hand continued slowly down onto her stomach and then down even further missing her wet pussy but rubbing her inner thigh and then down her long tan legs and onto her feet. Lauren heard Gemma say that they should take some photos so thy could always remember tonight. There was some more movement in the room before Lauren heard Hannah say "smile"! There was a click and a flash, then another and another. Lauren felt a hand undo her gag and pull it away before one of her friends planted a long passionate kiss on Lauren's lips. Lauren didn't know what to make of her situation now but she heard Gemma say "Well all this excitement has made me tired, I'm turning in. You two can have some alone time now!". If you would be so kind I would like a little more feedback on this section just to know how it's going. Thanks in advance

04-17-2009, 11:51 AM	#3
pranadevil Distinguished Member Join Date: Nov 2007 Location: UK Posts: 721 Blog Entries: 8	Have to agree, not a bad story, but could do with slowing down a bit, nothing worse than the story being rushed through too quick (well, except perhaps one which takes an age to get anywhere, need to have a happy medium). Oh, and I don't hate ya either :P.

04-17-2009, 12:28 PM	#5
Coyote getDare Addict Join Date: Jul 2007 Location: USA Posts: 2,110 Blog Entries: 14	Good beginning. It is rushed but has potential. You could have expanded on the setting,characters and basically the whole background for the story a little more. Keep writing, practice makes peerfict

04-18-2009, 12:45 AM	#8
pranadevil Distinguished Member Join Date: Nov 2007 Location: UK Posts: 721 Blog Entries: 8	The pace of that one was definitely better, and the story itself is pretty good . Only thing I'd say this time is it could do with being a bit longer in each section. Not in so much as stretching it out, but doing more per post. Of course that's more just me being picky as it's still a good solid story .

04-18-2009, 12:48 AM	#9
smaster16 Junior Member Join Date: Apr 2009 Location: In a country, with this state also in a house Posts: 11	Yeah sorry the posts aren't that long but next time I'll make the section longer, but that is in due season!

04-18-2009, 10:44 AM	#10
ccent Account Banned Join Date: Apr 2009 Posts: 42	it's great pealse keep going and do it soon make it kinda groos to

04-18-2009, 02:10 PM	#11
Officelover Truth or Dare Enthusiast Join Date: May 2008 Location: New England Posts: 2,602 Blog Entries: 107	Much better! Officelover P.S. I still don't hate you! __________________ 20 Trans Femme Nonbinary Ass Collector Writes Poetry On Aluminum Foil with Gold Gel Pens Fills Mason Jar with Vodka I'm Doing A Cleanse White Kid with Black Nails

04-18-2009, 09:24 PM	#12
smaster16 Junior Member Join Date: Apr 2009 Location: In a country, with this state also in a house Posts: 11	Part 3 Lauren went to speak but Hannah put finger over her mouth and told Lauren to wait a little longer. Hannah untied Lauren's blindfold and pulled it away from her eyes. Hannah pulled her T-shirt above her head and threw it onto the ground. Hannah ran her hands down her own body onto her skirt; she then pushed it down to her feet. Lauren could see Hannah's black lace underwear in the dim light of her room. Hannah stepped onto the bed bed and sat down over Lauren. Hannah reached behind her back and undid her bra clip; Hannah just let her bra fall onto Lauren. Lauren was shocked at what was happening, as Hannah lay down on top of her. Lauren could feel Hannah's warm breath on her face; Hannah planted a kiss on one of Lauren's erect nipples, drawing circles with her tongue. Hannah moved down running her tongue down Lauren until she reached her wet shaven pussy. Hannah planted a kiss, which caused Lauren to shiver. Hannah took one of her fingers and pushed it deep inside Lauren; Hannah pulled her finger out from inside Lauren and brought it up to her cherry red lips, to taste Lauren’s flowing juices. Hannah reached down again thrusting two fingers into Lauren. Lauren let out a slight moan; she was in pain but she wanted more. Hannah moved in and out again and again, gradually using more fingers, Lauren couldn’t help herself when Hannah was using three fingers Lauren started to moan, she hadn’t ever felt anything like what she was feeling now. Hannah stopped, she got up from the bed and grabbed the key to Lauren’s handcuffs; she unlocked the handcuffs and lied back down on the bed. The two lay there in the bed staring into each other’s eyes. Lauren had never expected this when the night had first started, but she wouldn’t change it no matter what, in fact maybe it was her smartest idea! The End. Sorry if the ending was rushed, but it was my first time writing remember. If you have feedback I would love to hear it, good or bad except if it's bad then don't tell me __________________ Don't hate me because I'm Australian It's not my fault! Last edited by smaster16; 04-19-2009 at 12:17 AM.