Predicament - For Anna

[joannasmith]

Hi all,

You have been great and helpful in engaging Anna and me on the platform. I think Anna was already used to this platform but I am getting a hang of it too.

If this post doesn't belong here, please do move it to the relevant section, apologies already for it.

Anna will be going home for 3 weeks, it has been long time since she hasn't met her family and the recent divorce did take a toll on everyone. So it would be a good change for her to meet everyone, spend some time with her family.

We discussed that Anna's family might want her to stay back in India, probably get a job or get married again. And on further discussion with Anna, she likes living in this lifestyle, she is enjoying the time with us and would like to continue.

So our proposal is that she will have to tell her family about the lifestyle she is leading, in part that it is an alternate lifestyle to being married. But she is expected to stay busy, learn and will be able to live a good and happy life with us, instead of seeing this as a taboo.

Ask: Please do let me/ us know if we should plan to communicate this any differently or if you have come across a scenario like this, how did you deal with it.

Joanna

[LPV]

I think it is great that she is going home.

I do not know a lot about India apart from having had one good Indian friend who was great.

I am a bit worried about the culture. Finding out about her divorce seems like it was a big shock. She does need to be honest, but I hope that doesn't do anything to hinder the relationship with her family going forward. I am not sure how open the Indian culture is. Just saying. I wish all of you the best of luck!!

[Manarus]

This thread might be in a diferent forum better indeed. Here it will vanish quickly in the later pages...
Maybe Kink and Education is a good place? (https://www.getdare.com/bbs/forumdisplay.php?f=64)

Nevertheless, let me answer to your original question:

I second LPV. It really depends a lot on the specific family, how open they are. But not that, also on how confident the people are who you open up to. Because they then need to either lie to their other friends about Anna, or they need to kind of also defend Annas lifestyle. It is a complex situation.
I cannot advise for it nor can I advise against it. Making a judgement on this situation remotely is impossible. But I can give you some general advice:

First, just enjoy the 3 weeks with family! Don't make a fixed plan or force you to tell anybody anything. If you plan to tell them, just wait if there is a good situation to tell somebody. And if there wasn't a good situation this time, well, you will fly back to your family again and then have another chance to tell them.

Second, only start this, when you really feel well and confident. E.g. if you still struggle with a divorce and feel a little hurt, I would not open up another topic. Just heal the current wounds, before you are looking for a new fight. And as of my judgement, this will be some kind of fight where you need mental ressources and focus (some people, friends or family members certainly will have a strong oppinion against this lifestyle, there is always at least one. So you need to be prepared for that)

It really gives me joy how you three work together as a family. If you continue this, you will be able to handle a lot of difficult situations well. I wish you good luck and happiness in your further life. But we will hear from each other anyways in this forum around, I am sure

[joannasmith]

Hi All,
Thank you for all the inputs and really appreciate your POVs on how to handle the communication. We ofcourse want to give her enough space but also want her to stay with us, and in our own way claim her as our own, personally as a family and then ofcourse in our play as our loving slave.

We have decided between 3 of us, that she will first just get to visit the family, live with them, go to places she likes in India and enjoy her time. If she wants to talk about this with her parents, siblings, cousins or any friend, she is open to do that. If she decides to do that, want us to talk to them online or even fly in the future with her, we would ofcourse love to do that as well.

One key thing we told her that, she would ideally restrain from telling her family about the BDSM lifestyle and her role as a slave. It would be better to tell anyone that she is in a polyamory lifestyle, and she feels loved with both of us, that could still allow her to be with us, but also hit less hard on anyone she is close too.

On the flip side, if she doesn't decide to tell anything, she can just say that she has found someone in US, who is helping her find the job and it would be a better life than staying back in India.

Joanna