maddy09

I turn 18 soon, i'm so happy about it. Finally I will be able to post places. GAH. SO happy.

What has happened to me…

Why has it happened, what happened to my strength that I once was able to use as a shield, that strength that would let me conquer anything?

What have I done to myself, what has changed. Why is everything so dark even on the brightest days. Why am I so sad even with the happiest of people.

Why am I so confused that I can not make sense of the simplest of things. What has become of me, who I used to be, the greatness I remember, the...

Hello everybody, I just wanted to know how everyone is. I hope you guys are well.

I'm good, nothing life changing has happened lately which is nice. I would much rather nothing good happen then something interesting but sucky happen.

My moods have been really weird lately. Sometimes I'm happy for no reason, or sad, also for no real reason. But always there is just this weird numb feeling.

I feel like I am just pretending to feel all these things. But I don't know why. What the reason is.

And I don't know what is wrong with me. Before I always knew why I felt a certain way. And now it is all just unexplainable. I miss being happy. Really happy, not the fake happy I am now.

And I don't...

For a while I've been sad, not really wanting to do much. Not wanting to die, but not exactly living either.

And then I was just sitting here, on my computer like I am almost everyday and I just thought to myself. "I'm happy."

I know that is weird, but it seems like all of a sudden the world didn't suck as much. I have great friends, I'm doing well in school. I'm having fun with people who understand me.

And it is fantastic. I don't feel like I...