1/3
Come men! Come women! Come childre- No, do not come children. You should not fucking be here. Come to the county fair, where we have a piggy. Let us review the piggy! Such a piggy you have never seen, or so you will claim after you drink to forget! Unfortunately, I am already drunk, so that route is denied to me.

I have asked the fair cuck, and he can indeed confirm the piggy is fuckable! (This is not an accomplishment. The cuck will fuck a snake if you pull the fangs out and hold it straight.) She indeed has a vagina, and an anus, fit for any number of cocks! (And trust me, bring a friend, you'll need it to have any friction.) So fuckable is the piggy, in fact, that in her rolls of fat you shall find any number of technically fuckable crevasses! Indeed, this reviewer would suggest cowgirl position to ensure you get to one of the normal holes, if this did not present risks of crushing. Indeed, she would be great for emergency rations, if she were at all fit for human consumption.

2/3
What else can piggy do? Well, piggy appears to be passable at art, as her markings indicate. Indeed, such art I have not seen since watching the movie Cloverfield. Fitting, since much like the shakycam cinematography, Piggy is vomit inducing, and much like the monster, I'm fairly certain she's loaded with dangerous parasites.

So fine folks, what is the final verdict at this the drunk scientist country faire? Why am I spelling it like a ren faire? I don't fucking know, I am at the forget stage of drinking! But this is the fair, and we grade things by ribbons! Chuck is color blind, though, so we don't have blue ribbons. We just have fuckin' ribbons.

3/3
Fuckable? Ribbon.

Body? We think we put a ribbon there, but it's lost in the rolls of fat.

Vagina? See body. Sam tried to pin it to piggy's clit, but he ended up elbow deep in the sow clinging to her cervix to try not to fall in.

Anus? ... Yeah, I'm not gonna disparage a fuckable ass. 7/10. Yes I broke character. Fuck off.

Tits - These are certainly some of the tits on display! A ribbon for each nipple.

Does the fair recommend you make this purchase?

Maybe if you need something to pull a plow.

She could use the exercise.