Today, I really Screwed up

I had a good friend, but, I fucked (yes I swore, so what) up badly and now I don't think she likes me anymore and want to be my friend anymore. This is the first time ever the thought of suicide ever entered my mind. It didn't entered deeply, just slightly. But there are some long and hard days coming up because of what I did and it this will bug me. This person does not yet understand the fact that I just don't know a lot of things and things I can't comprehend and I dont know if something will be good or not( ok, a lot of the time I do now) and I knew it would lead me into trouble sooner or later. And what do you know it, bang, it lead me into trouble tonight.