The Practice of Karezza

I was chatting with a user a few nights ago and I had mentioned the fact the majority of sex I have is Karezza. I'd estimate it to be roughly 75% of my sexual life and we've been practicing with it for quite some time. I'm still learning about it to be honest. Our sex life is very stable, very enjoyable, very sensual and it has been better than ever. Most people have never heard of it so I thought I'd make an informative blog about it. Not sure how many people will take anything from it but it is informative nonetheless.

I'll start with a question.

What do you want from sex?

Is it to make yourself feel good? To relieve stress from a long day? To feel empowered? To sleep better? To bond with your partner or even relieve some tension in your relationship?

We often think there is only one reason to have sex...to have an epically awesome orgasm that will send waves of bliss and joy pulsating through your body.

We have been trained to think that sex ends with an orgasm. We are on a mindset that good sex is sex that ends with epic orgasms for both partners while bad sex is failing to have your partner reach climax. During sex, we often have that pressure on us that we need to have our partner each climax. This is simply not realistic as orgasms can be unpredictable, erratic, and capricious, based on your partner's mood that day.

Orgasms are a mystery – that’s what makes them so amazing. They are this explosive moment where your body and your soul get to connect directly without your brain getting in the way. Why are we trying to force logic and reality on something that is designed to take us out of reality. Orgasms re-calibrate our imagination and allow our creativity to move beyond what’s logical.

Not orgasming during sex doesn't make the sex bad, sometimes it means it was slow, dreamy, and fun. Partners are always locked on this mindset that without an orgasm, the sex is not good, or your partner did not have a good time. When both partners are stuck in this overanalyzing and overthinking mind space, it is impossible to create that freedom, fun, and release we obtain from sex. Instead, the mood gets anxious or deflated and you revert back to going through the motions of boring monotonous sex.

For Karezza sex, I'd recommend practicing to release this mindset. Believe me, it is hard. As a couple, or on your own, practice having sex that doesn't have to end in an orgasm.

Maybe you orgasm, maybe you don't. That's not the point. The goal of sex is not to get to an orgasm as fast as you can but to slow down, have fun, and take in the intimate experience. It's about connecting with you or your partner's body and loving yourself and your body. Maybe it’s about exploring your partner’s body with a great massage. Maybe you had a really tough day and you just want your partner to give you lazy sex to slow down your body. It might end in orgasm, but maybe not. I'd say the most important asset in sex is simply being present, showing up emotionally, staying in the moment, and enjoying each other's company. That's the biggest turn on.

When it comes to Karezza sex, I have three tips: Stay in the moment, Be curious, and Relax and enjoy the moment.

Stay in the Moment:
There are many things that distract us in our lives...classes, work, the to-do lists...worrying about how and when you or your partner is going to orgasm should be is the worst distraction. Instead, practice staying in the moment. Forget about everything else, breath, and take in the intimate experience.

Relax and Enjoy the Moment:
Don't let your partner's experience affect your own experience. Don't get caught up in your partner's emotion, show emotion yourself, Most people, like me, get the most pleasure from seeing your partner turned on. Let your partner see you enjoying the moment as well! By not taking responsibility of your own sexual enjoyment, you are robbing your partner of enjoying seeing your pleasure. Don't worry about what sexual acts may or may not work. Stop asking if something is working, stop asking if they are close to an orgasm, stop worrying about letting them reach an orgasm. Your partner may orgasm or they may not, either way, it's not a reflection on your performance. Tune into their body and their breathing and you'll know if you are going at the right pace. You'll know if you both are having a good job.

Giving or receiving, slow down and enjoy the moment. Most people have a mindset that if they give, they must receive in return or vice versa, that is not the case! You shouldn't have to have the favor returned to you. There are nights where I am the one giving and I still get the same amount of arousal and pleasure as my partner gets. There are nights where I am receiving and I still get the same amount of arousal and pleasure my partner gets.

Be Curious:
There is nothing sexier than who is curious and interested in how you can make sex more intimate,adventurous, and fun. It takes courage to admit that you aren't the Sex Wizard; you don't know every move in the books and that you haven't tried every sexual act. This shouldn't make you insecure or embarrassed, it only makes you normal.

Open the door to creativity during sex. For example, if you are going downtown on your partner and they aren’t responding “enthusiastically” instead of running your mind with all of the insecurities about being a terrible oral sex pleasurer, ask “what if I tried the same thing, but slower” or “what if I tried doing this while I held their hands against the bed.”

Ask yourself these questions and explore your partner's body. Every person's body is different and each has a certain thing that they love. stimulation can occur on the lips, the neck, the breasts, the stomach, the inner thighs, the butt, the genitals, the ears, ribs, and many more body parts. Most of these areas should be explored. See what your partner likes and tease them, drive them wild!

I've found that practicing Karezza during sex makes the sex much more enjoyable, much more intimate, and much more relaxing. Sex used to last thirty minutes to forty-five minutes but now we can last well over an hour! I'm not sure if anybody will take anything from this blog but Karezza is great to at least give a try!

Thanks for reading!

Love,
Lia