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Two dare reports.

Posted 03-14-2016 at 11:19 AM by An_Jon

It's been quite a while since I did a serious dare report, so I guess I'll do two. Thanks to EnigmaticBunni for his dare, and fuck JMN for his. No really, fuck him. Fuck him in his stupid face. Ahem.


DARE ONE - JMN.

Quote:
I'll give you a dare my good friend, you'll have to do 50 star jumps/jumping jacks with shoes or something relatively heavy tied to your balls, lose count and start again
Easy, I'll do 200.

I didn't use a shoe. I man-moded this and used a half-kg weight. Might not be much heavier, but the bounce will surely hurt more than a mere shoe. Also, it has a convinient hole in the middle, for the rope.

Anyway, I nakeded myself and tied the (I'll point out here that I don't own rope, but instead some strong fabric strips that do the job just as well) strip to my balls tight. I then tied the other end through the weights, and adjusted so that the weight dangled about 3 inches from the ground. Good job I was tying to my balls and not my penis, otherwise this would have been too high.

I then took a deep breath, and did a test ju- OH MY FUCKING GOD WHO PUTS A WEIGHT ONTO THEIR BAL- I mean, that was no issue. why the fuck did I make myself do 200, Jon you moron.

I began. The first 10 were bad, but the following 20 got easier. I'm in decent shape, so the jumping wasn't taking it's toll - I'm just a wimp regarding my balls. 30 in and I'm starting to clench my fist through pain. Can't stop, can't stop.

I get to 40, 50, 60. Smashed JMN's target, which is the main thing - but I have other goals, dreams. The walls start going fuzzy - I think I may have tied this too tightly. 70. Oh god, only 35% done. Fuckfuckfuck.

71-140(ish) pass in a bit of a daydream. I have this ability when swimming or running to totally fall back into my own thoughts - it numbs pain and helps me go on. It's a sort of subspace for people who hate exercise, but want to stay somewhat in shape. Anyway, I start coming back into focus in the lead up to 150. I'm sweating, but the 'end in sight' effect makes me determined, and ends my daydreaming.

Let's go back a step for a second here - GOOD LORD I AM SWEATING. It's a fairly cold day, but the beads are tumbling from my forehead. Cascading, in fact. I dare not look down because I fear the sight of my purple sweaty balls might make me vomit. However, something even more terrifying is happening - an erection.

I don't know how the [not] little bastard did it, but it managed to get enough blood to make the end of this dare hilarious as well as painful - let's call it tragicomic. Imagine, if you will, a crying elephant nodding it's head while screaming out in pain - that's how I did the last 50 star jumps.

Ouch.

DARE TWO - ENIGMATICBUNNI

Quote:
Put things to insert in at least 3 rooms. then, tie your ankles together and with a second rope tie your balls and connect that rope to the rope on your ankles so you have to keep your knees bent. approximately 1 foot shorter then it would have to be for you to stand up straight.
now, start a stop watch. go to each room as fast as you can and with each item, insert it then remove it. Then go to the next room. do this till you are back in the original room. then turn off the stop watch. Now put nipple clamps on for the time on the stop watch then do the course again with the clamps on. . once you turn the stop watch off this time, you may untie the rope and take off the clamps. Add the 2 stop watch times together. defind the seconds by 10 seconds. spank each cheek that number of times.
This is a good dare, a well thought out dare. I like that, and I like this. Well done.

My three items of choice - A cumber still in the wrapper, and two decently-sized fairtrade bananas wearing condoms. I put them in rooms 1, 2 and 3 respectively.

After tying the tie (my poor, poor balls) I decided to go about this on my hands and knees. Instead of crawling, I would sort of squat-jump onto my knees. Big mistake. With knees on fire after 2 jumps, I crawled, my to the dismay of my balls.

Since this isn't specified in the dare, I started outside of the three rooms, rather than starting in room one to cut time. No cheating, Jon. I went into room 1 and inserted the naughty cucumber. It loved it. My crawling was working, and I went into the next two rooms, inserted the bananas and got back in 1:28. A decent time, I hoped, and worked out that I'd be doing about 18 spanks after my next run (the nipple camps shouldn't slow me down, right?)

I should point out here, too, that there was nothing restricting the insertion (like legs together), and an ass-happy slut like myself is more than capable of one quick pound with three bits of fruit.

Anyhow, my second run was much without incident. The nipple clamps only added a bit of numbness to the nipples, in truth. 1:25 was my time, meaning my final tally of seconds was 173 - or 17.3 spanks. I rounded up to 20 for good measure, and gave my ass cheeks a good time. 20 on each, as specified.


So thanks, guys, for the dares. I'll happily take more, if any are going. If not - keep being kinky, you beautiful sonfoagun.
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  1. Old Comment
    J.M.N's Avatar
    I was being nice by only giving you 50, never again then.
    Posted 03-14-2016 at 11:55 AM by J.M.N J.M.N is offline
 

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