My reluctance fantasies are gone
Posted 09-08-2022 at 10:12 PM by pluky
Something worth taking a note of about how my two weeks of online DS relationship have affected me, is that for as long as I can remember I have always had brutal abuse scenarios and fantasies going around and around in my head, I don't even know when it all started as I had them way before I had any understanding of sexual things or even knew BDSM existed.
Lately since I discovered the pleasure of getting pain and being controlled but with my consent, I can't even go back to that, I don't even know what I always liked about that. Don't know if it's a temporary state of mind, or if I'm "cured" forever. I never liked that side of me, it was unhealthy.
I always thought I wouldn't like being a Submissive, as in offering my obedience, that I was only a Masochist who enjoyed my own suffering, but now I see that I was wrong. It took the right person to get there tho.
Lately since I discovered the pleasure of getting pain and being controlled but with my consent, I can't even go back to that, I don't even know what I always liked about that. Don't know if it's a temporary state of mind, or if I'm "cured" forever. I never liked that side of me, it was unhealthy.
I always thought I wouldn't like being a Submissive, as in offering my obedience, that I was only a Masochist who enjoyed my own suffering, but now I see that I was wrong. It took the right person to get there tho.
Total Comments 1
Comments
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Maybe just a way of your mind to process the idea of being controlled and/or overpowered and with some other way of processing that idea also the fantasy shifted towards another way of interpreting it.
From abusive to consensualPosted 09-09-2022 at 12:53 AM by Merlin 
