A Dying Breed

I've talked about this particular topic I'm going to write about on several occasions. I know some people are going to say "Oh shut up already!" But I'm not going to, as opinioons need to be heard. I can automatically say, I am going to have people who disagree with what I'm about to write about but that's to be expected. But I seem to be going around in circles in this first paragraph so I'll start with my main point.
Yesterday, I got a message from a previous potential slave of mine, meaning that they did not get past my trial period. Yes I know what his username is and yes I know what he did wrong but I feel that I shouldn't have to demean people specifically by name. Anyway, it's been I'd say about a month since we went our seperate ways and he instant messages me on yahoo and brags about he has a Mistress and six slaves since he's parted ways. I'm sorry I just find that kind of weird as I can't assume both roles at the same time let alone deal with seven different people at one time. Also for the most part I'm monogamous in these kind of relationships.
So anyway talking with him, I learned that he finds out that these people are who they say they are by photographic proof. He has been on webcam with his Mistress, and the first thing he tells his "slaves" to do, is to do a task and take three to four pictures of it.
Here's where the disagreement will come in. Am I the only one who thinks that, this is moving a little too fast? How about getting to know the person a little bit before barking commands? The way I see it, this guy is viewing slaves as almost like a scorecard and nothing more than an object. Might as well just put them in a dresser drawer so that your parents can't find them and only use them when you're horny. Which for this guy is always. I would tell you how I know this but once again I don't feel I need to demean with specifics.
Anyway, it's people like this who distort the reality of what a real s & m relationship used to be like, and should be like in my personal opinion. Am I saying sex is not a part of the relationship; no. Sex is a part of an s & m relationship but it's not the only part. When you are in a relationship when you say do this, do that or else I'm going to punish you, take off your clothes and get naked for me on camera and nothing else, that is not by definiton a s & m relationship. And it's things like this that gives people who choose to engage in this lifestyle a bad name and produce all these stereotypes that masters are just evil and just delight in the fact that slaves are just objects that we don't really care about and only exist for our sexual enjoyment.
In my opinion, what I'm about to say is a s & m relationship, the key word being relationship. I am corresponding with a woman right now, who I am considering to be my dominant. Yes, I am considering because if anyone contacts me that does not mean I have no choice in the mater of being theirs or not. Now we've been talking for I'd say at least a couple of weeks now. We're not official yet, but trust me there will be a blog entry up when, and if, we officially become a dominant and a submissive. Anyway, yes she has given me tasks, two to be precise in the approximately 14 days we've been talking. Why am I still communicating with her if she's only given me two tasks in two weeks? Because like I said, sex is only one component of the RELATIONSHIP. Think of your best friend. You're in a relationship with them and it's called friendship. It's the same deal. Sure you may partake in some sexual activities with them, but that's not all you do right? You talk with them, you discuss interests etc. When this potential dominant and I talk, we mostly talk about vanilla things. Sex has not come up too often in our conversations as we know that's not the sole part. We talk about our interests, what we do, what we like, opinions. Yes we dabble sometimes in our views of the bdsm universe but the point is we're not in a do this, do that or be punished kind of relationship. And I don't feel that it's going to be that way when and if we become official.
As a switch, I've played both roles and no matter which role I play, I do not view my other just as a slave or a dominant. I view them as a friend and a partner I can trust and just talk with. Now don't get me wrong I love assigning and receiving tasks just as much as the next guy. But I feel that there needs to be a bond between the two parties otherwise it just doesn't reach it's full potential. Most relationships break up at some point in time and if you don't lay down a strong foundation of friendship first what's going to happen when it does break up? You go on to the next person but what if the person you just gave up is the best you're ever going to get? Or worse, what if it's the only you're going to get? I feel that this woman and I have established a pretty strong friendship and even if our relationship does go to s & m, I can guarantee that she and I will just talk like good friends sometimes. And if our relationship breaks up later on in life, we may not talk to each other for a while as healing may be needed, but I think after a little while we'll still be able to talk as we are right now.
I called this entry "A Dying Breed" because s & m relationships that are actually relationships seem to be so scare nowadays. The s & m today, I just don't get it. You want to control someone or see people naked? Watch some porn or write a dare as it almost seems like the same thing. You want to submit to someone so you can be told to sexual things and show off your body and be challenged. Challenge yourself, do a dare, participate in the slew of make me famous dares. And for all those people who only want one time things...why? What's the point, you want to get your rocks off, waste somebody else's time because there are some people such as myself who are looking for long-term things.
I'm not saying that submission and dominations are the same as porn or dares because there is something there, but seriously think about what you really want. Think of your best friend again, how long have you been friends? A couple of years probably, maybe even longer. And what about your other friends you've probably been with them a long time to. Why is it so different in the realms of bdsm. I ask this; why do you need six slaves and a Mistress? Why is one of these not enough? IT almost seems like you're getting bored and not satisfied with what you have. Do you treat your friends this way? Whether you want to admit it or not, every dominant and every submissive out there is a person and they do have feelings, opinions, desires, aspirations for greatness and so many things...but you just see them as a sexual release. I'm sorry but that just sickens me. If you really want to be in a s & m relationship and is official you have to realize that sex is not the only component. So many people loosely throw around these terms but don't even know what they mean...Well that's all I'm going to say for now. I'm not going to read over this blog to see if it makes sense because this is just stream of consciousness. I know some people are going to disagree with me and I know some people aren't. I realize this is not going to change a lot of what I see today but I just feel that it needed to be sais. Remember the key word in s & m relationship is RELATIONSHIP. So go form one.