Therapy has been effecting my DID. Is it positive or negative?

So, I've been struggling with DID (Disociative Identity Disorder) for quite some time now. Made a few posts about it too. And one thing my therapist has been trying to do is get all of our personalities to "reconverge back into one, single person"

She explained it as each personality is kind of like a part of us, blown out of proportion. It was easier for the less developed personalities, (Like Dave, Alice, Hunter, and Marcus. shaggy just recently started trying to converged back into Mike, kinda)
But it's different for me.

For me to "converge back" I would have to accept that I basically don't exist. And I'm not ok with that. Me and the core personality "mike" understand each other, and in a way, need each other.

Our therapist believes that I am just his femine side over expressing itself, but it's so much more than that. I WANT to be a girl. I PREFER the female pronoun. I act and dress like a girl on a regular basis. Plus, Mike dosnt seem to care what people call him. He's proclaimed on social media as "pansexual and genderfluid" whereas I'd be "pansexual and transexual"

But lately, I've been wondering if it is possible to still be me, and to "reconverge" with the core. It would certainly make my familly more at ease around us. But at the same time, our wife says she loves both me, and Mike as the same. When I'm out, she refers to me as I desire, by my name Amanda, but calls me "her sister" (she's bicurious and sexual) and when it's Mike, she uses his name and calls him "her husband"

Our love for each other is on an emotional and psychological level. Sex isn't necessary to prove to each other we love each other. At the same time, I feel like me getting a gender change operation or taking hormones to appear more femine would bother her a bit. (Raised by a homophobic familly)

That's why I choose to use makeup and other ilusionary tactics to appear more femine. More like myself.

But I also wonder, what if I'm not so much a separate personality anymore, and more so just the core, as a girl?

It's all just my own personal struggling with this, for now I'm still choosing to identify as transsexual rather than genderfluid, because I deeply desire to be a girl, and I do feel pain whenever referred to as a man.

Ok I don't wanna talk about this anymore. That's enough emotional vomit for now. Talk to ya later my fellow freaks and geeks!