Originally Posted by AbusiveMaster

Originally Posted by Butterfly

THIS!!!!!

Thank you so so much for writing this. I could not have put it any better than what you have written above. This is what it is all about.

I am a huge advocate for people doing their kink their way, until it becomes damaging to other people. Making comments about woman deserving to be abused and raped is not. ok. ever.

Originally Posted by lilith_

YES YES YES!!!!!!!!!!!

Thank you for writing this!!!

Originally Posted by Runesmith

Exactly! I love non-consensual role-play, but I will never rape someone. Non-consensual rople-play is a very powerful and intense way of exploring the bounds of trust, and physical and emotional pleasure, for both parties (and for the sub, it has the added bonus of freeing them from decision-making, guilt, and responsibility) - however, it is fantasy. Non-consensual role-play does not make me a rapist, no more than playing Assassin's Creed makes me a killer.

This. Just because someone enjoys power exchange to this extent doesn't mean everyone who does is suddenly going to decide hey you know what, I can do that with anyone I want to!

Rape is a violent, abhorrent crime against a human being, that leaves behind indelible scars (and so can intense non-consensual role-play, if the right after-care is not provided).

When I engage in non-consensual role-play, it is between me and my sub. It is my sub that I see as inferior - not half of the human race.

This is usually the only type of play that I require aftercare with, precisely because of how extreme and powerful it is. And after the scene is over, I am no longer inferior but an equal. As it should be!

You are absolutely right in saying that the inability to separate fantasy and reality gives the fantasy a bad name. Most people outside the kink will not understand non-consensual roleplay and confuse it with rape (which is why I go to great lengths to protect my identity on this forum, as my stories here will cost me my career).

Not even people in to kink sometimes understand non-consent. The problem is made worse by the kind of blog that you are responding to, with your post. That user (judging by the post, I'd say it's a male teen incel pretending to be a woman) is trying to rationalize criminal behavior using the same kind of arguments that were used to rationalize slavery, the holocaust, and other forms of genocide. That's someone who needs help - fast.

Originally Posted by Sam~

To be totally honest, personally I don't think I'll ever be able to get my head around how someone who has been through sexual abuse, can then get aroused by rape/abuse role play. The slightest hint, role play or not, for me is enough to make me start to panic or shutdown. (regardless of the level of trust I have with the person, or maybe it's just impossible for me to trust that much?)

But we are all different (thankfully!), and I am glad this works for you.

Thank you for posting a carefully thought out blog on these issues, making clear the differences between role play and reality. As opposed to certain other blog posts.....

Originally Posted by Butterfly

I agree with you. It is something that I will never be able to understand. But the brain is a funny thing and everybody is different. I can respect others and their kinks as long as they aren't forced on me like the other blog you are referring to.