Give and...Give?
Posted 02-24-2017 at 11:16 AM by Komodo Jones
Going on to a more serious blog rather than my goofy excitement about playing video games in a sexual fashion. We've all heard of the expression give and take. Basically saying something is 50/50, equality reigns, you fulfill both roles in a relationship of giving gifts or good attributes and receiving them. This is how I conduct a lot of my D/s relationships. I don't see my subs as inferior or myself as inferior when I'm a sub. I see my other half as peers. It may seem a bit odd to some, but I just can't be with anyone who has a serious inferiority complex who thinks they're better than me just because I submit to them. But lately I've been feeling a lot of giving and giving without anything to show for it. Now don't get me wrong I've been getting great suggestions from people and I have give and take relationships with my friends but this feeling of giving and giving has been on Fetlife lately, which a lot of people on this site are a part of.
I have talked to at least several different people on Fetlife in the classifieds section. A lot of them don't respond back which is just annoying as I find it common courtesy to respond to someone even if you're not interested. The exception is if you're a jerk or a moron and it's obvious. Yes I've done that as I am very stupidity intolerant. However, of the responses I've gotten back, I've just been disappointed. I write a lot when I send notes. If someone gave me the task of writing a short erotica or a short story I couldn't do it. My short story that I wrote for a class was 14 pages, not double spaced or any modifications. It may have even been in ten point. Getting back on topic, I messaged one person a fairly lengthy blurb about myself, who I was, what I was looking for and this is what I got back.."Hi
" That's it nothing more. Four characters, five if you include the space. Could there be any less effort put into a response? Yes, they could've have omitted the smiley face. But why are people like that it's just so annoying. And it leaves so many questions unanswered, are you interested, are you not interested, am I what you're looking for, what are you interested in, are you even a human being? It's just frustrating that I take the time to write a lengthy "How's it going" and I get nothing. However, this is only one of the conversations I dealt with.
This next conversation is the one that prompted this blog entry free write. I messaged a Domme this past weekend and even though she's asexual which isn't exactly my thing, I don't exactly like the feeling of being a free agent right now. Granted, part of that is because I'm very particular in my D/s relationships and I think with the head on my shoulders instead of the one between my thighs and don't jump every single being that moves that has two X chromosomes. Anyway I wrote a pretty lengthy blurb as one of her first requirements for messaging her was to tell us about our hobbies and our personality. I did that, and she said she was interested in talking to me because I have involvement in church. I wrote another, not as lengthy as the first but a couple paragraphs, blurb to her and she said she would message me back a bit if she didn't forget.
Four days passed by and I gave her a little nudge, politely. To which she responded that she wasn't busy and maybe I should try messaging her once in a while. That just pissed me off. I have written probably close to 100 sentences and you've written me five. How about you show me the same respect that I showed you and actually talk to me instead of just blowing me off and telling me to do what I've already done! And she can't understand why so many people just break off communication with her without saying a thing. If she's going to treat me like that, I have no desire for her.
I do try to give the best to my sub and my Domme, and though I hate to say this, this seems that the other half of this relationship seems to happen in the relationships where I'm a Dominant. In most of the relationships where I've been the sub I've either been abandoned or neglected into the point where I just have to leave as I'm not getting what I need. This is difficult for me because before I became a switch, I was a submissive and that need has just been building up inside of me for a while.
I just don't understand why relationships where both parties give equal effort are so difficult to come by. I've been a Dominant and a submissive before I know the ups and downs of both roles. I'm generally a pacifist and although I do have problems that I have to deal with myself I still give the best that I can to my Dominant or my sub. I expect the same. I've used these terms before these relationships need to be symbiotic not parasitic.
I envy, not in a resentful way, the relationships I see on here where two parts just click well. I truly wish the best for those people as D/s is becoming more of what I expect it to be. I guess the brief message in here is don't take for granted your other half, and make sure that you give and take equal parts, be the best for them, and hopefully they'll be the best for you.
Like I said this was just a free write a little bit of a rant. And my free writes don't always make sense so take this as you will. Thanks for reading.
I have talked to at least several different people on Fetlife in the classifieds section. A lot of them don't respond back which is just annoying as I find it common courtesy to respond to someone even if you're not interested. The exception is if you're a jerk or a moron and it's obvious. Yes I've done that as I am very stupidity intolerant. However, of the responses I've gotten back, I've just been disappointed. I write a lot when I send notes. If someone gave me the task of writing a short erotica or a short story I couldn't do it. My short story that I wrote for a class was 14 pages, not double spaced or any modifications. It may have even been in ten point. Getting back on topic, I messaged one person a fairly lengthy blurb about myself, who I was, what I was looking for and this is what I got back.."Hi
" That's it nothing more. Four characters, five if you include the space. Could there be any less effort put into a response? Yes, they could've have omitted the smiley face. But why are people like that it's just so annoying. And it leaves so many questions unanswered, are you interested, are you not interested, am I what you're looking for, what are you interested in, are you even a human being? It's just frustrating that I take the time to write a lengthy "How's it going" and I get nothing. However, this is only one of the conversations I dealt with.This next conversation is the one that prompted this blog entry free write. I messaged a Domme this past weekend and even though she's asexual which isn't exactly my thing, I don't exactly like the feeling of being a free agent right now. Granted, part of that is because I'm very particular in my D/s relationships and I think with the head on my shoulders instead of the one between my thighs and don't jump every single being that moves that has two X chromosomes. Anyway I wrote a pretty lengthy blurb as one of her first requirements for messaging her was to tell us about our hobbies and our personality. I did that, and she said she was interested in talking to me because I have involvement in church. I wrote another, not as lengthy as the first but a couple paragraphs, blurb to her and she said she would message me back a bit if she didn't forget.
Four days passed by and I gave her a little nudge, politely. To which she responded that she wasn't busy and maybe I should try messaging her once in a while. That just pissed me off. I have written probably close to 100 sentences and you've written me five. How about you show me the same respect that I showed you and actually talk to me instead of just blowing me off and telling me to do what I've already done! And she can't understand why so many people just break off communication with her without saying a thing. If she's going to treat me like that, I have no desire for her.
I do try to give the best to my sub and my Domme, and though I hate to say this, this seems that the other half of this relationship seems to happen in the relationships where I'm a Dominant. In most of the relationships where I've been the sub I've either been abandoned or neglected into the point where I just have to leave as I'm not getting what I need. This is difficult for me because before I became a switch, I was a submissive and that need has just been building up inside of me for a while.
I just don't understand why relationships where both parties give equal effort are so difficult to come by. I've been a Dominant and a submissive before I know the ups and downs of both roles. I'm generally a pacifist and although I do have problems that I have to deal with myself I still give the best that I can to my Dominant or my sub. I expect the same. I've used these terms before these relationships need to be symbiotic not parasitic.
I envy, not in a resentful way, the relationships I see on here where two parts just click well. I truly wish the best for those people as D/s is becoming more of what I expect it to be. I guess the brief message in here is don't take for granted your other half, and make sure that you give and take equal parts, be the best for them, and hopefully they'll be the best for you.
Like I said this was just a free write a little bit of a rant. And my free writes don't always make sense so take this as you will. Thanks for reading.
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