I like your talk of connotations. I never really thought about it that much, but I guess belonging is better than being owned. We all want to belong somewhere, to feel at home and at ease. A person can make you feel like you belong, a good Dom should be able to do that!

And you know what? Your Dom most certainly belongs to you as well. It's a two way street. I bet he knows that and... I bet you make sure he knows it as well.

I am of the opposite opinion and believe very strongly in the term "owned" and "mine" but I am part of a Master/slave mentality in relation to BDSM. (Master not being male in this case obviously).
I do own her, but then in our relationship I govern almost all areas of her life.

I very much related to the paragraph you wrote on belonging to work and family etc too as its something I am discovering a lot at the moment with Mumbles. Just how much those areas changing in her life affect our dynamic and you've helped me put a lot of things into perspective with that.

I know a lot of people struggle to relate to or understand a Master/slave dynamic and I would never have realised the term owned could have negative connotations for a person. I find it so interesting how differently people within the BDSM community view certain areas.

I think my views are quite extreme as I believe in and have a TPE, 24/7, M/s relationship and don't feel belong is the right term for it.

Great blog!!

It's how you feel inside that counts not what or how everyone else says you should, I have a Master, sir and play partners I have a different relationship with them all how I feel about them is different and how much of me I give to each is different.

So your choice of the word belong is wonderful for you :-) because that is what is important how you both feel :-)

I am of much the same mind, Lyss; it kind of bothers me when other people ask who owns me, if I think my owner will let me do their task, etc. I usually just gently and politely say he's my Dom, not my owner, and leave it at that. But there are connotations associated with "owner" (and "master", and a few others for me) that I don't like. I'm a person, not an object. We aren't 24/7, and Wardell doesn't dictate every area of my life. I give my submission freely, not out of passive obligation. So yeah, I hear you

That being said, there are certain times where my wonderful Dom can say things like he owns my wet little cunny, and I basically melt. But we both know exactly the context in which he uses that language.

Good post, I've never thought about it this way. I do like using the term ''owned'' as a way of humiliation, or like a synonm for a bdsm relation ''I own her'' instead of'' she is my sub''. But now I might pick up the term belonging more often, so thanks.

Kudos

-reads the last paragraph-
-puts down glasses-

-cough-

So I think im pretty happy with the term "owned" and Miss likes to Scream "MINEEE" but I see your points there. Im not being very detailed with the words were using but its just how we do things and Its fun so why not :3

*presses 5 again, just to be sure*

Kittenlyss: you are the queen.

And I will be snagging portions of this when I get a chance to sit down and draft my replies to random friend requests. And random messages too I think. The really articulate ones, that consist of 'wil u dom mee hav cam pls' (have mercy, that was painful to type).

*presses 4*

*presses 5*

*Waits...*

I gotta say Ly Ph, boobs pics made specially for you are way better for one reason or another.

I love this kitten that is almost exactly how I pictured the TRex with boobs when it was initially mentioned if only she was pink... and where are the glitter nipple tassels?

*giggles*
This is hilarious!
Also, sign me up.

Very good well done I am sure every get dare lady will be getting one installed

Haha, thank you, you made me laugh alot

Not read everything as it got quite lengthy and I'm still struggling with focus. We already chatted somewhat about it too.

But that's exactly the point I think I made. A need is only preent to attain a result - people don't NEED food. They NEED food TO survive and not fall ill etc tc.

Ergo, some "wants" are a form of need. The need to play to prevent hugely negative feelings (not every playtime is needed, but some are). I think one I mentioned was hugs - a large part of my mental state is negatively affected by the fact I haven't had a cuddle in over 3 years now and it is something I need for good metnal health etc...

Not all things that are wants are always just wants.

I believe that its a need if it will give you a good quality of life. Its hard to say "these are my needs" because if you had all of them you'd be an incredibly lucky person. I think that there are three categories, physical needs, emotional needs, and wants. But the emotional needs are selective. You don't need them ALL. If I had only food, water, clothes, shelter I probably would end up killing myself due to being bored 24/7 and then depressed that I couldn't talk to anyone. It wouldn't be living, it'd be surviving. That's my outlook on things anyway :P

Its not perfect, but Maslow notes several needs beyond physical needs of food water and shelter.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Maslow'...archy_of_needs
Several of those come in to play in bdsm relationships (and many in relationships in general)
Safety, Love/Belonging and Esteem.

For me, I NEED to be humiliated from time to time. Its not that I'll absolutely die if I am not, but my health WILL deteriorate. Over time, if I am neglected, my mood changes first, but then my body changes. I get very tense often, I sometimes even break out in pimples due to the lack of stress relief.

After a scene, I also have needs, which, if not addressed won't kill me, but will affect my health. I suffer sub drop, sometimes pretty sharply. After I experience a major scene or humiliation, I get almost weepy sometimes. I am very tactile at those times. If not addressed, I can certainly bottle up the emotions and eventually get over it all, but I'm sure its better for me from a needs standpoint if I don't.

I feel like I missed something important here so this might be all out in left field and out of context but I wanted to say:
I have definite needs when it comes to a D/S relationships that are not at all related to my physical/emotional regular life needs. In regular life I am very nonmaterialistic, I need very little to be happy. I need the list like what you said, food, water, heat, a mattress, a shower and some clothes to wear. I very rarely have and keep anything in abundance, I have rarely in my life had a lot of nice things. I got overjoyed when my friend gave me an actual bed with a headboard and footboard, because I have never had one before.

To be happy in (and therefore stay in and maintain) a D/S relationship I need much more. I need to be cared for, I need someone emotionally intelligent, I need to feel like what they are giving is proportional to what I am giving, I need someone capable of building trust, and I need to feel protected. I consider those needs in that context, because if I don't have them, I will eventually end the relationship. As far as my physical/emotional real life needs go, I am willing to give up a lot to make someone else happy, as long as they do the things I need.