My Demons
i dont know how to start this but..
Im just going to talk a bit here i guess, and finally open up to people about... my mind.
i hardly talk about this stuff.. but im going to post it here because i kinda have to talk.
in the course of my life, i have been dealing with many mental illnesses.
like depression,extreme anxiety,bipolar and much more
i have searched help after a long fight and even considered uhm
but the therapist will take a long time because the lists op people are huge and i have to wait atleast a few months to get even the bit of help
but anyway, i basically have gone through alot of shit even tho im nearly 20.
I am socially just broken and as days pass by
i dont know who i am anymore
right now im nearly crying because im saying these things
i wish for so many things
but all i want is 1 thing but ill talk about that in a other blog i guess because i will doing more of these because i cant live another day without bearing this.
i want to talk to people
i want to help people
Forget about myself
but yet... when nearly all your friends have left you, there is no place but to be on your own.
and its killing me.
i want to be happy and not like this
not this jelous lonely useless guy like i am right now
if... you have read this blog.. thank you, like thank you alot
Im just going to talk a bit here i guess, and finally open up to people about... my mind.
i hardly talk about this stuff.. but im going to post it here because i kinda have to talk.
in the course of my life, i have been dealing with many mental illnesses.
like depression,extreme anxiety,bipolar and much more
i have searched help after a long fight and even considered uhm
Spoiler:
Mentally Self harming: wanting to be broken
but the therapist will take a long time because the lists op people are huge and i have to wait atleast a few months to get even the bit of help
but anyway, i basically have gone through alot of shit even tho im nearly 20.
I am socially just broken and as days pass by
i dont know who i am anymore
right now im nearly crying because im saying these things
i wish for so many things
but all i want is 1 thing but ill talk about that in a other blog i guess because i will doing more of these because i cant live another day without bearing this.
i want to talk to people
i want to help people
Forget about myself
but yet... when nearly all your friends have left you, there is no place but to be on your own.
and its killing me.
i want to be happy and not like this
not this jelous lonely useless guy like i am right now
if... you have read this blog.. thank you, like thank you alot
Total Comments 8
Comments
-
I’m currently offline on gD however my inbox is always open!!
just shoot me a PM. Some great apps that can help is 7 cups of tea! So many of us have mental illness and we feel there’s no one we can turn to! There are communities! You are worth soooo much! And you are not alone with your mental illness! I hope you continue blogs!! I know writing helps me! There are so many ways you can put your feelings into writing!Posted 03-17-2019 at 12:52 PM by Peachybaby 
-
*claps* bravo for publicly opening up about this.
Not many people open up in private settings, let alone public(ish) settings such as this site.
I don't know exactly everything that you are going through, but I myself have had my own struggles with mental health and some of those thoughts you may be having.
Regardless of how you feel, please know that no matter how corny this is and how untrue it may seem right now: it will and does get better.
Will it happen overnight? Of course not. But it will. I'm an example of that happening. I fought like hell and things have certainly gotten better.
Are things with me absolutely perfect? Hell no. But they are 50x better than they were three years ago and I've learned to overcome those thoughts and am working on making things in my life even better.
You got this, I believe in you.Posted 03-17-2019 at 01:41 PM by wolf82 
-
You aren't alone we are not next to you but we are cclose in many ways, lots suffer like you and this comunity exist with the single porpouse to help guide and guive peace of mind to those who ask.
Any time you need to share, talk or lose some steam contact me, some time all we need in a bad day is some one to hear us. we have to stick together and support.
To you my best wishes, everything you are living has a porpouse and I hope you learn the best things of this, take care and hang on a little morePosted 03-17-2019 at 04:05 PM by Dragoste
-
Know that you are not screaming into the void, a stranger on the internet has seen, read and understood. You are not alone. You are stronger than the lies the depression feeds you.
I wish you well, fellow stranger, and know that your opening up has already had an effect on the people that have read it. Like everything detectable in the Universe - you matter.
ConniePosted 03-17-2019 at 04:16 PM by Consensus
-
I know it's not the best, but if you can text, 741 741 start is a great place for a temporary fix. They are a crisis hotline, but that does not mean when you are not in crisis you can't reach out. I've used it when I have been at my level of crisis and sometimes it's nice to talk when you don't feel like a burden.
Another thing, I am so proud you feel safe enough to share here. I find the blog community here is very supportive and friendly. I have really found some great souls here and the feedback I have had is always positive. Please post what you need to get out of your head without fear.
Finally, I am not on barely ever anymore, but please send a pm if you feel like you need to vent or talk and would rather talk to one person versus the blog group here. I will respond as soon as I am on.
I know personally the struggle to function when you face depression and mental illness. I am so proud that you are reaching out in rl. It's such a huge step that most people don't realize the effort it takes. Celebrate the small and large victories you deserve it. I wish you well and please don't ever feel like you can't reach out!Posted 03-17-2019 at 04:32 PM by Wedgiebondagebabe
-
Opening up here is a great start, so is seeking help. I know it can feel like nothing is able to help but it will happen, it just takes time. Don't give up.
There are so many people here who are in the same boat, or have been. I know I have been in that place. It has been a long road but I am starting to feel as though I am not broken.Posted 03-17-2019 at 04:35 PM by Butterfly
-
As someone who's been in therapy on and off for several years, please get yourself on the waiting list - the time will pass anyway. If you have any questions about therapy, or need some support near the time about going (I was so scared the first time I went), please message me, i'm usually about That goes for getting things off your chest also.
It does get better, I promise you.Posted 03-17-2019 at 07:29 PM by Stopclick
-
Thank you for the support
It means alot to mePosted 03-18-2019 at 01:57 AM by SecretGhost
