Currently i realised that im beginning to smoke more
And before i would never buy them but i still did just now

And then there is the 2nd thing

Since i live in the Netherlands
I can basically buy weed without problems
But the thing was i never really did it alone or just without my best friend

And now i basically got one, and smoked it.


Its that i now realise, i might use more sigs or weed
But im not sure...

This will be a bit of a short one
But still want to talk about it.

In the past i used to have bad moments
And i always go to this starbucks middle in a certain city

And used to.drink coffee there because it makes my mind at ease

I sit there even right now as i write this
With my coffee, and my music in my ears

Having my own space

And just.. get things straight


I have had a little breakdown...

This blog is one of a big series to open up to the world.
I want to talk about one of my biggest mental issues that i always had.

And that is loneliness

To keep this part short. I lost alot of friends and i always wanted a girlfriend that just loves me for who i am

And even if not..
I just want to hug, kiss, cuddle and more, because i need physical contact. Because i want to do it for the other person and it makes me forget the world and be...

i dont know how to start this but..
Im just going to talk a bit here i guess, and finally open up to people about... my mind.

i hardly talk about this stuff.. but im going to post it here because i kinda have to talk.


in the course of my life, i have been dealing with many mental illnesses.
like depression,extreme anxiety,bipolar and much more

i have searched help after a long fight and even considered uhm
...

...

Like :
Toys
Scat
Being messy in the shower
Tasks
Pee (Everything)
Struggling
Love
Being a Pet
Licking
Mental breaking
Anal
Diapers (cant buy them yet sadly so underwear are my diapers)

Toys :
medium girl buttplug
Medium normal buttplug
bullet vibrator
6,5 inch dildo

Dislike :
Drinking alot of pee
Eating alot of scat
Pictures
Vomit
Long timed (talking...

Current list :

PM me DIRTY BOY and I rub my chest and belly with scat and leave it there for at least 10 minutes.

PM me THIRSTY and I piss directly into my mouth as best as I can and try to drink as much as possible.

PM me WOOF and I get naked, on all fours, and either walk through my rooms several times that way, or...