I can entirely understand that for some people sharing/getting pics are no big deal. What I would like is for them to respect that I don't feel that way at all. I'm much more like Butterfly and you in that pictures of any part of myself represent a very deep intimacy.

I don't mind people asking me if I do pics in the first place so much as pushing after I've answered. I have concerns about their reading comprehension because it's quite clearly stated in my info, and I do feel it's sometimes inappropriate to throw that into the conversation right away, but often people contact me because they see I am permitted to play with others. I understand that some people are specifically looking to exchange pictures and I can give some leeway there. If they push, they're pretty much dead to me and likely to end up with a whole lot of random dick pics and sarcastic memes, but they get one pass at the question first so I feel it's fair.

I actually just got propositioned in chat last night. Somebody had asked me what I was looking for on the site. I told them that I had a dom (who I live with and am dating) and that I am just looking for friendly chat. They told me my dom was very lucky because I had a nice body and they wouldn't mind telling me what to do and watch me on skype. I told them that even if I didn't have a dom, that wouldn't happen because pictures and especially video are limits of mine.

They reassured me that they wouldn't ask for a picture with my face in it, but that doesn't matter. They got annoyed when I said that.

For me, sharing photos isn't a limit because of the privacy aspect. It is a self respect thing. My body is MINE! Nobody else's. I don't consider it belonging to Asslvr. It is still mine and I allow him privileges on a regular basis. I am also very self concious. I grew up being told negative things about myself, and I still feel that way. When I take a piture of myself I spend lots of time studying it to make sure it is something I am comfortable sharing, and a lot of the time, the picture gets tossed in the virtual garbage can without anybody else seeing it. So to be ordered to share a picture as proof of a task ... I would have a meltdown.

I also have been abused and forced into doing things I am not comfortable with in the past. And so when somebody demands something that I am not comfortable with, I shut down. I will not do something because somebody says I have to (not unless we have talked about it before hand and I have agreed to have you push me). I will not do that again.

So yes, pictures are a limit of mine. And if you don't understand that, then fuck off because we can't be friends.

But there are so many amazing people, like you KJ who really get it! You understand the intimacy behind a photo and how lucky you are to be a part of it.

Now I was a part of the presidential election, and for me, offering to share photos was something that I debated about for awhile. But I negotiated with people so that I did it in a way I was comfortable with. And for me, sharing those photos and getting positive feedback is a great way to gain positive self esteem and build up my confidence. It doesn't mean in the future I will be willing to share my photos with people if I am asked or demanded. But I felt like I was in control at that moment, and I was ok with it.

Sorry or the long comment. I should have just written my own blog, but I want to say thank you for posting this and thank you for understanding.

I agree. There is a difference between online role play/interaction and using the Internet to simulate every aspect of natural communication. Being behind a screen offers safety and security to many. Trying to force them to give up the biggest benefit allowing them to explore is disrespectful. Asking for pics on sentence two is rude to boot.

I liked reading that.

Good luck with the move. It is always equally exciting and scary to move on to a new chapter in your life, but change is usually a good thing. I wish you the best!

I am so lucky that I had you by my side through that time. I'm also so very thankful I met you last year. You are one of my best friends and now I am blessed to call you my Dom

Congratulations to you both Wishing you all the best!

Much congratulations! I hope you both (well, all three of you reallly) have an amazing time together .. well, not together .. kind of... um.. 'Hey, look over there!' *runs away*

I am so very happy for both of you You are an awesome Dominant in so many different ways and I am sure that she will enjoy being your submissive!

Congratulations to both of you and I wish you all the best in this new chapter of your life.

The move will be good for you! And I know you will find ways to stay in touch with the people that mean the most to you

Good luck with the life changes!

Good luck out there KJ! Hope you are able to get settled in soon!

Good luck, I hope the move goes well

I've been asked versions of this question before! Only it was more like "How has somebody not snatched you up already?" I just shrugged, ignored the implied lack of agency on my part as the potential snatched, and said "Not sure." I didn't really take offense because I think it was intended as a compliment. But there isn't really a good way to answer that question from a casual acquaintance. Because the real answer is kind of complicated and not necessarily flattering. And who likes sharing unflattering details with not-quite-friends?

A. I'm incredibly oblivious. And usually don't notice attention from an interested party as more than polite conversation. I usually just think people are really nice.
B. I don't get attracted to people unless I think of them in a sexual light and that requires a shift from how I normally interact with people. And a lot of time for association to take effect.
C. I'm really shy. So if I did meet someone who managed to flip my switch, I probably wouldn't make the first move.
D. I'm kind of a commitment-phobe. So if I get past the other problems, I don't tend to sustain good, long-term relationships.

For now, I'm enjoying my casual relationships. It's also giving me a chance to practice making friends first, so that I feel more comfortable discussing the touchy subjects that inevibatly come up.

That question does actually annoy me when it's asked by people who don't know me well. I'm not sure how they expect me to answer it. Am I to identify the things that are wrong with me, as is often implied in such a question? Should I tell them it's because I have high standards? Because I want to focus more on my education and career than wasting my time (oh yes, I see it as 'wasting') dating a bunch of guys I am 99% sure I do not like in that way within the first fifteen minutes of meeting them? Are they looking for me to break down into tears and lament about how I just can't find a good guy and why oh why am I still single? Or do they want me to go into excruciating detail about my every encounter with men and specifically identify why each wasn't 'the one'? I'm really tempted to do that last one.

And Rainbow is right, this is a very nice blog - and good for you for waiting until you find the right person. You deserve nothing less

This was a very nice blog (I don't have anything to add, I just wanted to say that.)

I love reading the dommy side of D/s. And you two are pretty amazing.

Whoo hoo! 4 months! It seems like a lot longer, you have both gotten to know each other so very well already! I love reading both of your blogs!

Psst. Deschut and I are about to hit 2 years... *head explodes*

Thank you for the update, I really do enjoy readong how things are going.

It is so great that her wife is on board! Should be fun for you two (her wife and you that is...)