Removing the Collar.
I have been collared for 4 months tomorrow. In that time, my collar has been removed only once for a few days just recently due to skin issues. I never take it off even to shower or swim etc. Most of my family and friends know of my lifestyle so I don't have to hide what it symbolises and the few that don't know or wouldn't understand/approve, it's easily hidden under a shirt when needed.
I never expected to have to remove it. We said on the night Master collared me it would only come off for medical reasons. So of course I never expected it to need to come off because I couldn't think of a medical situation I would ever be in.
But a few weeks ago, my eczma flared up in several places most noticeably all around my neck. Any time the collar rubbed against it irritated it more and it refused to heal.
I waited as long as I possibly could before mentioning to Master that I may have to remove it while I healed. I really didn't want to!
When I told him the reason why, he agreed and told me if it got worse or didn't start healing I'd be taking it off. It got worse. He saw that it was getting worse and so he told me I had to take it off and that I could put it back on when my skin had been fully healed for at least three days.
I really, really, reallllllly didn't want to take it off. At all. It's a part of me, a part of him, a symbol of his ownership of me. It's one of only two pieces of jewelrry that I have worn in over five years. And it is something my hands often stray to without me even noticing it.
Rationally, I knew that removing it didn't lessen our relationship or affect it in any way. But I still didn't want to because of how attached I am to it. And when I turned the key and unlocked the padlock for the first time in almost four months since putting it on for the first time...it's difficult to explain how I felt right at that moment.
Even though I knew it is only a symbol of us, I still felt...deflated? It belongs around my neck and nowhere else. This surprised me because I genuinely didn't expect to feel this way about it. I knew it was for health, I knew it would eventually go back on, I knew it didn't change anything...but I still couldn't help feeling this way about it.
The few days it was off, there were so many times that I automatically went to touch it before remembering it was no longer there. I bitched and complained about how long I was taking to heal and that I wanted it back. I felt empty without it.
And then tonight, as we were talking he suddenly told me:
"Put your collar on, right fucking now."
I wasn't expecting it and as soon as he said that I didn't feel so lost anymore! I've lost count of the times my hands have wandered to it already. He is a part of me and not having him physically near means that I need all the reminders I can touch.
I feel like myself again. And that's surprising too- 6 months ago I would never have expected an item of neckwear to mean so very much to me or to instantly change my mindset and mood.
And if the eczma flares up again? Well then I guess I will be living in his shirt for the foreseeable future.
I never expected to have to remove it. We said on the night Master collared me it would only come off for medical reasons. So of course I never expected it to need to come off because I couldn't think of a medical situation I would ever be in.
But a few weeks ago, my eczma flared up in several places most noticeably all around my neck. Any time the collar rubbed against it irritated it more and it refused to heal.
I waited as long as I possibly could before mentioning to Master that I may have to remove it while I healed. I really didn't want to!
When I told him the reason why, he agreed and told me if it got worse or didn't start healing I'd be taking it off. It got worse. He saw that it was getting worse and so he told me I had to take it off and that I could put it back on when my skin had been fully healed for at least three days.
I really, really, reallllllly didn't want to take it off. At all. It's a part of me, a part of him, a symbol of his ownership of me. It's one of only two pieces of jewelrry that I have worn in over five years. And it is something my hands often stray to without me even noticing it.
Rationally, I knew that removing it didn't lessen our relationship or affect it in any way. But I still didn't want to because of how attached I am to it. And when I turned the key and unlocked the padlock for the first time in almost four months since putting it on for the first time...it's difficult to explain how I felt right at that moment.
Even though I knew it is only a symbol of us, I still felt...deflated? It belongs around my neck and nowhere else. This surprised me because I genuinely didn't expect to feel this way about it. I knew it was for health, I knew it would eventually go back on, I knew it didn't change anything...but I still couldn't help feeling this way about it.
The few days it was off, there were so many times that I automatically went to touch it before remembering it was no longer there. I bitched and complained about how long I was taking to heal and that I wanted it back. I felt empty without it.
And then tonight, as we were talking he suddenly told me:
"Put your collar on, right fucking now."
I wasn't expecting it and as soon as he said that I didn't feel so lost anymore! I've lost count of the times my hands have wandered to it already. He is a part of me and not having him physically near means that I need all the reminders I can touch.
I feel like myself again. And that's surprising too- 6 months ago I would never have expected an item of neckwear to mean so very much to me or to instantly change my mindset and mood.
And if the eczma flares up again? Well then I guess I will be living in his shirt for the foreseeable future.
Total Comments 5
Comments
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You never removed your collar. You removed a length of steel chain which is a physical symbol, your collar lays inside and can never be removed pet.Posted 01-15-2016 at 05:02 PM by AbusiveMaster 
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if it starts flaring up again why don't you take the collar and wrap it around your wrist as a double wrap bracelet if it will fit? That way you won't feel lost without it and you'll be allowing your skin to heal properly?Posted 01-15-2016 at 07:07 PM by LittleDoll814
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Unfortunately it started to flare again almost immediately. I suspected it might, but I also knew how badly she wanted it back on. We have had to remove again for now, and it may be a while before she recovers enough to wear it again. But a piece of jewelry is just that, and while she doesn't wear it, she is every bit as much mine.
Posted 01-16-2016 at 03:56 PM by AbusiveMaster
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This pretty much sums up how I feel about Techie's day collar (physically a necklace). If she removes it because she chooses to, that's her taking off her collar. If she removes it because she has to, she's removing the symbol and the collar itself, the sign of my ownership, is unaffected.Posted 01-17-2016 at 06:43 AM by Sinister
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I also wear a necklace as a symbol of mine and asslvr's relationship but a month ago I had to take it off. It was my decision because it was hurting my neck and I was hoping if I took it off my neck would heal. I know it meant a lot to him so I felt awful, but I understood it was just a physical symbol of our love, devotion, commitment to each other. I recently put it back on and it does make me feel closer to him but if I have to take it off again for some reason, I know he is just as much a part of me.
I second the idea about wearing the necklace around your wrist, or if this will be a recurring or long term issue, having a second symbols of your relationship. A bracelet, ring, body writting? When I didn't have my necklace it helped to look at my tattoo on my wrist ...
Good luck and I hope your neck gets better soon.Posted 01-17-2016 at 08:17 AM by Butterfly
