Some Thoughts on Discipline

Before I start this entry, I just want to say that these are my own opinions and thoughts. If you want to leave me a comment, that’s perfectly fine but don’t flame me just because my views don’t match up with yours. I am not stating these as facts, I am stating them as my own opinion. I acknowledge that everyone is entitled to their own opinion, and I will respect that as long as your say it in a respectful manner. Just keep that in mind as you’re reading this.

Another disclaimer I’m going to put in this entry is that this entry may sound very familiar to some, and that may or may not be a coincidence. The reason it may sound familiar is because I wrote this on another blog on another site for a friend of mine. So if you recognize that, don’t flag me for plagiarism as I can prove that these are my own original thoughts. Also this has been tweaked a little bit from it’s original form. So without further adieu, here are some of my thoughts on discipline...

You know a lot of times I wonder to myself why do I consider myself to be part of the BDSM lifestyle? I mean I hate bondage, so the B of whole acronym is out. While dominating, I do tend to excel in pain even though I in no way consider myself to go to the levels of sadism, and along the same vein I enjoy pain but I don’t consider myself a masochist either so that eliminates the M. So I only fully embrace the D and part of the S in the acronym. However, while I have experience in these types of relationships, what I can glean is that in order to be part of the BDSM lifestyle that does not mean you have to embrace every aspect of this lifestyle. But that’s not to say that I don’t embrace any fact of this lifestyle. I’ve been both a dominant and a submissive in the past, so yes I am a switch, but I do tend to embrace a submissive role more. That’s what I started out as before I became a switch, so that makes sense.

Discipline, punishment call it what you will but I think they’re synonymous in a sense, but in a way I see it being strongly distorted by so many people that want to be part of the BDSM relationship but don’t truly know what it means. Now I by no means claim myself to be an expert in these aspects but, not to sound conceited, I do consider myself to be rather intelligent. Discipline, to me, suggests the process of punishing someone because they did something wrong, whether breaking the rules, or not showing respect to the dominance that you have chosen to submit to. So why, do I read about so many submissives being punished for no reason other than their existence? What is that supposed to teach them? That they’re worthless and have no purpose but to be a literal punching bag for their dominant? I’m sorry but no matter how much someone wants to deny this, every submissive/slave is a person even if they want to be viewed as nothing but a sex toy or a slut they are still a person. And every person, even if they don’t want to admit it, has a breaking point. I don’t care what a person says, there is no such thing as a no-limit submissive! It does not exist, and people who say they are, are delusional. No-limits means NO-limits, drugs, gun-play, illegality, putting yourself in grave danger all these are limits and you say you don’t have any problem with that? Sorry but I find that hard to believe.

Then there’s the other side of the coin, dominants who discipline but don’t really. Let me explain what I mean by this. Let’s say my slave misbehaves and I tell her to spank herself 50 times on the ass and call it done; that would not be a punishment. Why? The reason for this is because she enjoys being spanked, and I know this. Yet so many people today call a spanking a suitable punishment and leave it at that. Did you ever take the time to see if your submissive liked spankings? If they do you’re just reinforcing their misbehaving with a reward. Experience does help in telling you what most submissives don’t like but if you’re just starting out, take the time to learn your submissive’s likes, soft limits, and hard limits. If your slave misbehaves use one of their soft limits or something you know they won’t like and they’re likely to not misbehave again. I’ve only had to discipline my slave three times in our relationship, and ever since that last punishment she has yet to misbehave.

Now someone did comment on this aspect and it is true that even if you know your submissive’s likes you can use these to create a punishment and that’s one of the worst feelings in the world. Let’s say someone really likes tease and denial. And let’s say you use this a lot, and let’s say this person misbehaves. You order them to do 100 edges in a set amount of times. After a while, they’re probably going to reach their breaking point and not enjoy it anymore. Now I’ve never used this punishment nor would I but just saying that likes can be used as a punishment IF used correctly.

Now it seems like I’m picking on the “dominants” here but let me say something about some certain people who are submissive as well. Some submissives I’ve dealt with in the past ask for a punishment. And some submissives blatantly misbehave on purpose just to get a punishment. Unless you’re asking for one because you did something wrong that your dominant does not know about until now, you people have turned discipline into a joke! And in some cases I can’t blame you, because so many people have distorted the idea of discipline that so many people think that punishment is just something dominants do for no reason other than just because they can. This makes no sense to me, and this goes along with what I said earlier that if you punish your slaves in some way that you didn’t bother to see if they liked or not they’re going to want to be punished more. In my dominant experience in the past, one rule I have stated is “Do not misbehave, just because you want a punishment.”

I honestly do not like to discipline subs/slaves when I am in the mindset of a dominant, but if they misbehave I have to otherwise they don’t learn. That is the key right there. Discipline is not there just because dominants have the ability to. Discipline is there to be sort of a learning opportunity. My previous domme punished me quite a few times because I messed up but she has never disciplined me if I didn’t deserve it, except for one time. She made the punishments into something that I learned to avoid and through those she made me a better sub. That is what it’s all about. So don’t abuse discipline by just using it for the own slave’s existence; use it to make your sub/slave the best that he/she can be.