I have a lot of things I should talk about and it is easier for me to do that on a random website to a bunch of strangers. You can comment on my stuff or not, but the majority of my blog posts will be personal things that are difficult for me to talk about out loud.
Aftermath
Posted 10-07-2015 at 11:57 PM by techiegirl
Tags i need to sleep, rants, sinister, techie, yolo
The worst is when the call ends. When you've got those few moments of silence right after you both exchange the 'have a great day, bye, I love you's. That is the hardest part. Even though you know you have to leave or you'll be late to class or you know he is falling asleep as you talk. Hearing that silence after static, after his breathing, after saying goodbye like it's the last time you'll ever be able to speak, it's rough.
Long distance is the worst, 0/10 would recommend. The time difference is awful and unfortunately, I spend half of our precious hours together sleeping, because my body cannot get with the program.
I get to the point of where I don't want to sleep. I'm pushing myself to stay up because I'm fucking praying he'll wake up and I can talk to him before I finally go comatose. Even though I know he won't be up for hours and my eyes are already rather heavy. And I know that I can only marathon SVU for so long before I just can't stay awake. For some reason, sleep just isn't something I want to do, which means staying up even though it breaks my bedtime and even though my body is basically screaming at me.
I'm being rather dramatic of course, I tend to do that, but that's pretty similar to how I feel. I feel like it's so fucking difficult and that I need to slow the hell down and sleep for 12+ hours before I collapse, but I can't. I can't shut off my brain and sleep for more than a few hours at a time. I can't stop thinking about how safe I feel with him, because I never feel safe and someone in another country who is asleep right now and will probably make fun of me for such a horrible declaration of love, makes me feel safe. Which is kind of a new feeling for me.
So, yeah I can't sleep and I stop binge watching cop shows and it's definitely my dom's fault. I love him way too much and it's completely unreasonable. I plan to sue.
Long distance is the worst, 0/10 would recommend. The time difference is awful and unfortunately, I spend half of our precious hours together sleeping, because my body cannot get with the program.
I get to the point of where I don't want to sleep. I'm pushing myself to stay up because I'm fucking praying he'll wake up and I can talk to him before I finally go comatose. Even though I know he won't be up for hours and my eyes are already rather heavy. And I know that I can only marathon SVU for so long before I just can't stay awake. For some reason, sleep just isn't something I want to do, which means staying up even though it breaks my bedtime and even though my body is basically screaming at me.
I'm being rather dramatic of course, I tend to do that, but that's pretty similar to how I feel. I feel like it's so fucking difficult and that I need to slow the hell down and sleep for 12+ hours before I collapse, but I can't. I can't shut off my brain and sleep for more than a few hours at a time. I can't stop thinking about how safe I feel with him, because I never feel safe and someone in another country who is asleep right now and will probably make fun of me for such a horrible declaration of love, makes me feel safe. Which is kind of a new feeling for me.
So, yeah I can't sleep and I stop binge watching cop shows and it's definitely my dom's fault. I love him way too much and it's completely unreasonable. I plan to sue.
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