On Going with the Flow

Disclaimer: I suck at writing. I hope you like flowers because I’m gonna shove all the flowery language down your throat. You shall all (politely) deepthroat the flower penis. At least you’ll have nice breath. Yes.

Special thanks to my endorser and wonderful Dom, An_Jon.

Phew. Top 50 hits on. First blog post. Let’s get started.

In this blog post, I want to explore the concept of flow in BDSM, also called subspace – if I’m not mistaken. As per the wonder-source (Wikipedia), “flow is a mental state of operation in which a person performing an activity is fully immersed in a feeling of energized focus, full involvement, and enjoyment in the process of the activity.” In the gaming sense, flow is just completely surrendering to the game, allowing it take over your full attention. It’s what every game developer strives to accomplish. Five hours flies by, leaving you dazed and yet…satisfied. The game – it’s story, it’s immersion – was just that good. Sound familiar? Bastion was the last game where I could confidently say this occurred. I gorged on the game in one sitting, relishing in the deep honey-smooth bass of the narrator. (It’s a good game. I highly recommend it if you still haven’t played it.)

A few weeks ago, I jumped head first into the world of BSDM and kink, finally bursting through the confines of my mind’s grand imagination and desires. Within a few days of joining GetDare, I was able to find an amazing Dom, and I’ve already learned so much about myself and the BDSM community. From my humble beginning, I was desperate in my search for new information, fixated on chatting with more experienced people and reading articles, writings, journals, and blogs. I was determined to make my fantasies more real than they had ever been. I realized that some of my desires had names: cock worship, for example. I realized that being called a fucktoy was damn hot…and humiliating. Within a week or so, I had popped my BDSM strawberry (ha, see what I did there) with a naughty play session. And yet, what does this have to do with the flow?

The flow is what makes BDSM so addicting for me. All the yummy hormones and neurochemicals (Opioids, I presume?) are released during the play session, causing a foggy haze*. In my experience, there are moments I become so desperate for release, so fixated on my Master’s commands, the pain, and the pleasure that the entire world seems to disappear around me. I lose the ability to think and to speak. When I want to say (read “type”) something, words swim around in my head, and I find no way to articulate them. I can barely hear the voices around me, bellowing from other rooms. I could focus on nothing but my Dom’s (imaginary)** cock and pushing myself to follow through with his commands. It’s the first time I can say I’ve put so much effort into writing on myself - “Jon’s fucktoy”. It’s really quite a hard feeling to explain, but I’m sure at least some of you lovely readers have experienced it. (Back me up, will ya?~)

Some of you lovely readers might be thinking that this experience might be compared to orgasm. I beg to differ. For me, orgasm feels like my brain stops, overloaded by intense sensory information. Orgasm is fleeting, lasting a minute or so if you’re lucky. But the flow, the subspace, can last for hours, or even days, after the event. All those hormones and neurochemicals disperse from their respective receptors, and you start to feel like a potato (at least I do). It’s like the aftermath of the best high of your life. I end up lying on the floor for some grand amount of time (think 1-2 hours), just staring at the wall and subsequently passing into sleep. I would have made a wonderful representation of a dead person to anyone who decided to walk in. The dildo beside me would be the surefire cause of my death. If anyone asks, I’d argue it was death by cock. Momma said it would be naff to love something too much. Momma also happened to feel British that day.

Regardless, I’m sure my experience with this is just the tip of the BDSM iceberg. As I learn more about BDSM and add more to my résumé of experience, I’ll have more dips into the subspace and even scarier drops into potato-dom***. My physiological and psychological limits will be tested, and I look forward to facing them. There’s a fear that comes along with this prospect, but I have full faith that my Dom, An_Jon, will guide me through it.

Well, I don’t want to end this post too expeditiously, but I’ve exhausted what I’ve had to say about this topic.

If you’ve had submissive/slave experiences, have you gone through these emotions or something similar? If you’ve had Dominant/Master experiences, what sort of flow do you go through?

With love, your friendly neighborhood Strawberry,
Cleri


Note: While I am aware that there is a corresponding “flow” for Dominants, I don’t have much to say about that, since I’ve never played a Dominant role as of yet.

* Yeah, it was just that redundantly cloudy all up in my mindspace.
** By this, I don’t mean that Jon’s cock doesn’t exist (it doesn’t exist), but that it’s not tangible and palpable (with my mouth ) due to the great distance between us.
*** Potato-dom. Potato-Dom? Potato-Master?

Note 2: Lol, this was due at 10 pm. It's currently 10:05 pm here. Noone accuse me of turning it in late on purpose. The punishment sounds awefully wonderful if I fail. Will Master punish me? #playingwithfire

Note 3: The bolded terms are for An_Jon's reference. Did I please you? :P


Afterward: Imagine you're in a room, naked, with two hamsters. You've agreed to having a threesome, and both hamsters are excited to be there. One hamster mounts your bumhole and you begin to give the other hamster a blowjob. You get so into it that you accidentally suck the hamster's penis right off. Mortified, you look behind you, and the hamster mounting you looks like it's been glued to your arse. What a disaster. You vow never to have threesomes with hamsters again.