A random assortment of reports, thoughts, ramblings and information. Pretty much a view inside my wonderfully complicated, sometimes broken, and entertaining mind.
Facing fears and pushing limits
Sir and I didn't tell many people about our trip last month, but we had the opportunity to be together again for two weeks. I flew to see him on March 6th and was with him until March 19th. It was a very last minute thing (I surprised him on Valentines Day) and because of everything we have been through the last couple months, we really didn't want to over think anything or put too much pressure on ourselves, and so we didn't share this trip with too many people. We also didn't plan a lot of specifics this time. Instead, we talked a lot about what we wanted the trip to be about.
Something we have talked a lot about is pushing my limits. But we have also struggled with this. Sir is an amazing Dom, but he is a softy at heart (which really fits my submission style). I like that he loves and cherishes me and doesn't like to see me suffer. But the fear of me not liking something or me being anxious or upset or suffering was also holding him back from trying to push my limits.
In my past D/s relationships, I have never been to a point where I have wanted to push my limits or face my fears. I had limits for a reason, and I wasn't willing to budge. However, over the last 9 months with Sir, I have grown to trust him more than anybody else. Because I trust him so much, I am comfortable enough to start exploring and learning more about myself; and the best way to do that, is through pushing my limits and facing my fears.
There are so many things I have done for Sir that I never thought I would do, and the best part is that most of the time I have learned I enjoyed them. I know I have mentioned a few of these before, like shaving myself completely bare, or using ice. I loved both of those so much that we now do them on a regular basis and I couldn't imagine not doing them. I never would have known I enjoyed them, if I didn't give it a chance.
So for that reason, I have been asking to be pushed. After a lot of discussions, Sir and I finally decided that one of the focuses of this trip could be to face fears and push limits. Sir and I both felt more comfortable doing so in person so that he could be in complete control and help comfort me if I needed it, so it was the perfect plan.
It went really well. Two weeks isn't as long as you would think it sounds, but we did get the chance to explore a lot and I want to talk about a few different things that got to do and whether I enjoyed them or not.
I was originally going to post a long blog about all the different things we did, but this blog is already getting a bit long and I haven't even started the first thing yet, so I think I am going to break this down into a few smaller, easier to read blogs.
Something we have talked a lot about is pushing my limits. But we have also struggled with this. Sir is an amazing Dom, but he is a softy at heart (which really fits my submission style). I like that he loves and cherishes me and doesn't like to see me suffer. But the fear of me not liking something or me being anxious or upset or suffering was also holding him back from trying to push my limits.
In my past D/s relationships, I have never been to a point where I have wanted to push my limits or face my fears. I had limits for a reason, and I wasn't willing to budge. However, over the last 9 months with Sir, I have grown to trust him more than anybody else. Because I trust him so much, I am comfortable enough to start exploring and learning more about myself; and the best way to do that, is through pushing my limits and facing my fears.
There are so many things I have done for Sir that I never thought I would do, and the best part is that most of the time I have learned I enjoyed them. I know I have mentioned a few of these before, like shaving myself completely bare, or using ice. I loved both of those so much that we now do them on a regular basis and I couldn't imagine not doing them. I never would have known I enjoyed them, if I didn't give it a chance.
So for that reason, I have been asking to be pushed. After a lot of discussions, Sir and I finally decided that one of the focuses of this trip could be to face fears and push limits. Sir and I both felt more comfortable doing so in person so that he could be in complete control and help comfort me if I needed it, so it was the perfect plan.
It went really well. Two weeks isn't as long as you would think it sounds, but we did get the chance to explore a lot and I want to talk about a few different things that got to do and whether I enjoyed them or not.
I was originally going to post a long blog about all the different things we did, but this blog is already getting a bit long and I haven't even started the first thing yet, so I think I am going to break this down into a few smaller, easier to read blogs.
Total Comments 7
Comments
-
Looking forward to hearing about the things that you two explored
Posted 04-08-2015 at 09:06 AM by Alexis Rune 
-
I know what you are saying about his fear or reluctance to push some limits. I have that same issue. When I was just playing around and giving punishments and tasks to random people, it was easy. They ask, you give, then you might not hear back from them.
But as I have developed my relationship with sandi, I worry about her feelings more than anyone elses. I have that same issue of being to soft or forgiving sometimes. She lets me know when I need to, for lack of better phrase, "Man up" and be free and tell her to do what is on my mind. In doing so, we have tried a few new things and I found out that she enjoyed some of the things I was worried about.
So I hope your two weeks were amazing and that you have come closer together, if that is even possible.Posted 04-08-2015 at 10:37 AM by sonicboom1979
-
Come here Butterfly.. I'll push your limits and torture you with great pleasure muahahahaha.
Always great reading your blogs and hearing about how you are developing as a person and as a submissive, it's so cliched to talk about this as being a journey but it's so true and the more you two explore and develop the more fantastic life will become.
If asslvr ever needs some really nasty ideas of things to do to a Butterfly then this Bear is more than happy to offer suggestions.Posted 04-08-2015 at 11:41 AM by Tease
-
Looking forward to what the future blogs hold!Posted 04-09-2015 at 01:20 AM by Saddi
-
I am eagerly awaiting the follow up blogs describing the limits you pushed. You just know he won't push you too far and that he will stop everything instantly if you tell him you can't handle that. It's that safe feeling that you need when you want to try new things. Imagine what you can accomplish in more than two weeks, when you're together all the time!Posted 04-10-2015 at 05:43 AM by drwarschauu
-
Thanks for the nice comments everyone, I know Butterfly really appreciates them
I do love pushing Butterfly's limits and the feeling of accomplishment we both get from it (not to mention other "feelings")
Sweetie you do make me so very proud each and every time I read one of your amazing blogs♡Posted 04-11-2015 at 01:30 PM by Mr. Devious
-
@Sonic - I completely agree. When you are playing with somebody you don't have an emotional attachment to, it is so much easier but as soon as feelings are involved you want to protect them. It gives me butterflies when Asslvr is protective of me. But sometimes the only way to learn is to make mistakes and try new things. I don't like saying I won't do something because I feel like I am very in experiences and I can't possibly know what I don't like unless I try. It is all about communication and reassurance and Asslvr and I are working really hard on both.
@Tease - Asslvr is deviousness enough without your help so shush mister. But I agree. Any relationship is a Journey and I am hoping ours will be a long one. It is only natural for us to grow and change on our journey and it excites me to do those things and experience it hand in hand with Asslvr.
@Drw - He really does make me feel so safe. I couldn't possibly do these things with anybody else. I can't wait to see what we can do with unlimited time together.
@Asslvr - Thank you and you make me proud every time you push me and care for me and protective me. I love you.
I really do appreciate every bodies comments and support.Posted 04-12-2015 at 06:29 AM by Butterfly
