On Hearts

I suck at poems, but sucking is just a great excuse to practice at it, right? Depressing days call for redirected sorrows, so here's my go at a poem from the heart.

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Some days I wish my heart would shatter
Into a million pieces
Even if I'm the only one in the world
Who wishes it
I would gladly accept it
So that I may know your pain
And the cuts and bruises I gave you
When I whipped you with my torment

Some days I wish I could throw my heart
To the nearest bone
Even if I'm the only one in the world
Who wishes it
Whatever it would take
For me to atone
For the blame and hate and betrayal
That I bestowed upon you

Some days I wish I could feel the chill
Of my cold heart that day
Even if I'm the only one in the world
Who wishes it
I would take back those words I said
And warm you with my arms
Wishing beyond anything that
I could know the pain you felt that day

And yet my heart remains whole
As if you coddled it and guarded it.

Please, shatter my heart,
So that I wouldn't feel guilty
To love you again.

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Afterwards:
I don't need your money,
I don't need your touch,
I don't need your gifts,
I don't need your compliments.
But I would give up the world
for your time and your smiles.