I’ve had a recent surge of questions from eager, fairly inexperienced submissives wanting to know how they can turn their BF into the Dom of their dreams. I don’t know if anyone can deliver that kind of transformation on a blog - but here’s my best advice.

#1 Figure out what you want.

You need to decide exactly what it is you want, and that means writing it down. Blog about it. Write in a journal. I don’t care. Just get very, very clear what you want and what you don’t want....

Here’s a question: What do you do with unlimited power over another human being?

Since my entire fetish is mind control - that is, the power to gain unlimited power over another human being by controlling their mind - it’s a question I have to ask myself often. Knowing what you are in the dark is the only way to keep yourself from becoming a hideously evil human being....

I frequently run across blogs where people make demands, “you must call me Sir,” or “you will obey me.” In my opinion, dominance is not something that someone can command of a submissive, it is something that is earned, like respect. The louder that you yell to demand it, the less likely it is that anyone will ever grant it.

To me, dominants are accepting. Accepting of self,...