You're a Sub You Can't Refuse....Yes I Can!
Recently AM was teasing me by saying he may have me try marshmellows up my bum as a laxative. I wasn't happy with this for a number of reasons.
1: I am prone to UTI's and was unsure if I would trigger one if I accidentally got sugar on the front.
2: AM tells me so often I don't eat enough of this or that and I need more vitamins or more of this food and blahblah. He is probably right. So I thought flushing out what I DO get from what I eat was stupid.
3: Recently I have struggled with my bowels. Half of the time I don't even know that I need to poop until I am running to the bathroom praying that I make it.
4: I used to use laxatives as a way to lose weight when I was in the grip of anorexia and bulimia. I don't know if this would be a trigger for me and I have no desire to find out.
So given those reasons I thought the idea was stupid, unwise and unsafe. And so after pointing them all out to him and reminding him of my revulsion to scat play I told him I would not risk myself that way or spend hours cleaning up myself, clothes and furniture while crying due to #3.
He asked me "Yes or no. Are you refusing me?"
He has asked me that very question less than a handful of times in our time together and my answer has always been no. This time, I thought about the question for about 3 seconds and told him yes, I was refusing.
How can I refuse then if I have no limits or safeword with him? How can I refuse and still call myself his submissive? Because as he said when we first began exploring D/s together, he may hurt me but never harm me and if he were to harm me at all I was ordered to leave him. Not that I needed or need that order since if he tried that shit I'd bite his balls off and then leave him but I disgress.
I genuinely believe that this type of play could harm me. Whether physically or emotionally or mentally or all three, I knew the chance was there and it wasn't something that I was okay with. Do I trust AM? Absolutely. With my life. But I still know my body better than he does and it is still just as much my responsibilty as it is his, if not more, to look after it and myself.
I don't have limits with him, but there ARE limits as to what my body is prepared to handle. Why would I want to risk breaking that body by playing with something I genuinely think could harm me in the long term? I don't. I won't.
There are times when I will brat and tell him "No!" and stomp my feet and pout at something he has told me to do, but I will still do it even though I don't want to. (Usually WHILE pouting and stomping.) But those moments are playful and bratty and even though I don't want to do whatever it is I am pouting about, I will because I know it will not harm me.
But when it comes to something I am genuinely unsure about and worried I am not willing to risk it. Some may say "well that isn't having no limits" or "a sub can't refuse!" and to that I say fuck you. I get one body in this lifetime. It may not be the healthiest due to past abuse but I'll be damned if I risk it further. Only you can know your body 100%. It doesn't matter how close or intimate or how long you have been with your partner- if you feel genuinely unsafe then you have every right to stop, no matter what dynamics you have in your relationship.
P.S AM is complaining I didn't mention our talk about it afterwards and how he was always only teasing and not planning to use this play so I will add in "No you are not a twat." like I said on call to him sheese so insecure.
1: I am prone to UTI's and was unsure if I would trigger one if I accidentally got sugar on the front.
2: AM tells me so often I don't eat enough of this or that and I need more vitamins or more of this food and blahblah. He is probably right. So I thought flushing out what I DO get from what I eat was stupid.
3: Recently I have struggled with my bowels. Half of the time I don't even know that I need to poop until I am running to the bathroom praying that I make it.
4: I used to use laxatives as a way to lose weight when I was in the grip of anorexia and bulimia. I don't know if this would be a trigger for me and I have no desire to find out.
So given those reasons I thought the idea was stupid, unwise and unsafe. And so after pointing them all out to him and reminding him of my revulsion to scat play I told him I would not risk myself that way or spend hours cleaning up myself, clothes and furniture while crying due to #3.
He asked me "Yes or no. Are you refusing me?"
He has asked me that very question less than a handful of times in our time together and my answer has always been no. This time, I thought about the question for about 3 seconds and told him yes, I was refusing.
How can I refuse then if I have no limits or safeword with him? How can I refuse and still call myself his submissive? Because as he said when we first began exploring D/s together, he may hurt me but never harm me and if he were to harm me at all I was ordered to leave him. Not that I needed or need that order since if he tried that shit I'd bite his balls off and then leave him but I disgress.
I genuinely believe that this type of play could harm me. Whether physically or emotionally or mentally or all three, I knew the chance was there and it wasn't something that I was okay with. Do I trust AM? Absolutely. With my life. But I still know my body better than he does and it is still just as much my responsibilty as it is his, if not more, to look after it and myself.
I don't have limits with him, but there ARE limits as to what my body is prepared to handle. Why would I want to risk breaking that body by playing with something I genuinely think could harm me in the long term? I don't. I won't.
There are times when I will brat and tell him "No!" and stomp my feet and pout at something he has told me to do, but I will still do it even though I don't want to. (Usually WHILE pouting and stomping.) But those moments are playful and bratty and even though I don't want to do whatever it is I am pouting about, I will because I know it will not harm me.
But when it comes to something I am genuinely unsure about and worried I am not willing to risk it. Some may say "well that isn't having no limits" or "a sub can't refuse!" and to that I say fuck you. I get one body in this lifetime. It may not be the healthiest due to past abuse but I'll be damned if I risk it further. Only you can know your body 100%. It doesn't matter how close or intimate or how long you have been with your partner- if you feel genuinely unsafe then you have every right to stop, no matter what dynamics you have in your relationship.
P.S AM is complaining I didn't mention our talk about it afterwards and how he was always only teasing and not planning to use this play so I will add in "No you are not a twat." like I said on call to him sheese so insecure.
Total Comments 3
Comments
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Good good if he harmed you I would have to hurt him.Posted 02-06-2018 at 12:17 PM by Heart 
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Good for you Icey! It takes a lot to stand up for yourself and your body, especially when doing so to somebody you love and trust so much. This is a great message for people to read and understand. I love you! I love pouty Mr sparkles tooPosted 02-06-2018 at 06:02 PM by Butterfly
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Fully concur and support you. Your body. You know it best. A good dominant will respect your safety and emotions. Which, it seems, he does.
A sub can always refuse and should never be made to feel inferior for doing so. Though, there should be a good reason for doing so (which there was).
Safe, Sane, and Consensual!Posted 02-06-2018 at 06:20 PM by Blue Fox
