After Sir and I completed our trial together, we revised our rules and added a rule to remind me of him every moment of everyday. I am expected to wear one red item each day. Soon after this, I was planning a shopping trip with my mom. Sir messaged me at work and told me that he wanted me to buy one item in particular while we were out. When I asked what, I had to pick my jaw up on the floor when he told me he wanted me to buy a collar. I instantly turned red, my heart stopped, I had a slight panic moment....

I am staying at a hotel alone this weekend. Sir had to go out for a bit so he told me I should "relax" while he was gone. Of course with Sir's devious mind, I don't think he quite understands the meaning of relaxing.

Once Sir left, I got dressed and went in search of ice, and went to scout out the pool and hot tub area. I found ice and filled up my bucket. I took a look at the pool and hot tub and there was nobody in it. I felt a sense of relief knowing what I was about to do....

On sunday, Sir wanted to try a variation of a dare that he saw on getdare.

Here is the link. http://www.getdare.com/bbs/showpost....41&postcount=1

So, Sir had me get naked, and get my wand and 3 ice cubes. I laid down on my bed and Sir explained the rules we were going to follow.

Fast = Wand on high on my clit
Slow = Wand on low on my clit
Stop = Stop
Edge = Edge (although Sir can tell by my breathing when I am close so...

Sir decided that he was going to issue me a challenge this past week. I have a bit of a problem with not being able to be silent when I ... pleasure myself. Which has its disadvantages.

So, he decided we were going to focus on working on this. He sent his instructions Tuesday morning.

"For the rest of the week I would like for you to try to touch with out making a sound. So each day you have to rub your clit for as long as you can until you make a noise... then stop....

I have realized recently that I have been very very unhappy in many aspects of my life. In the past month, I have realized that I deserve better.

I have thought a lot about a lot of things, and I have finally made some decisions. Tomorrow I am starting the ball rolling on the biggest of these changes.

I am scared ... I don't like the unknown. I don't like the uncertainty of not knowing where I will be a year, 2 years, 5 years from now.

But at the same time,...

The other day I was overwhelmed with this sense of awe and amazement at this website. It wasn't one particular thing I read, or message I received ... it just kind of came out of the blue, but I realized how at home I felt here at GD and how it really did feel like a community.

It isn't just a website, but it is a group of very like minded people who support one another.

I have been a lurker off and on for over a year now. Every now and then I would come on and take a...

***Sorry in advance for this very off topic blog post. It is just relevant to my life right now, and needed a sounding board for my feelings***

I hate funerals. I mean, nobody likes funerals, but I hate them more than most. In my 25 short years, I have had to attend 15-20 with half of those being people who were extremely close to me.

I am an emotional person. I believe that wearing my heart on my sleeve has hurt me in the past, but as much as I try, and against my better...