My feelings about giving and receiving punishments

My pet recently suggested that I post a blog on my views and feelings surrounding punishments, both giving and receiving.


First of all, I want to stress that there is a huge different between a punishment and a funishment.


Punishment
I believe that punishments are something that should be avoided. A punishment should be something that is a consequence for breaking a rule, or being “bad”. It should consist of something that the punishee doesn’t like, to deter them from being “bad” again. It should teach them a lesson. It is not something that should be desired.


Funishment
I believe what most people are asking for on getDare is a funishment. They want to be “punished” in a fun way. They like the fantasy and thought of being naughty and needing to be punished. However, they don’t actually want something that they hate, they want to be forced to do things that actually turn them on, such as spankings and standing in the corner, or may severe tasks that incorporate their likes.


Giving Punishments
As a Domme, I know that giving a punishment is required. I feel that it is very important to be stern with your sub and to let them know that when they break a rule, there will be a consequences. However, I am also very reasonable. My sub will not be punished for something that he had no control over. If real life gets in the way, and my sub did not have the time to complete a task, then there will be no punishment. If my sub fails a task, they may need to redo it, but they will not be punished.


I also believe that the punishment needs to fit the “crime”. If my sub slips up and forgets to do something (ex. Accidently touches when he wakes up) for the first time, he will get a very mild punishment, maybe a few lines. If he continues to forget or slip up, the punishment will get increasingly harsher and he may receive a moderate punishment over time. If my sub deliberately ignores a rule (ex. He decides to cum even though he knows he isn’t allowed) then he is in for a very severe punishment.


It is hard for me to punish my sub because I don’t like being “the bad guy”. I would much rather have fun and play with my sub, however, it is necessary in my dynamic. I do get run down and frustrated if I am having to punish all the time, because for me it is not part of the fun. It is something I do because I have to. I don’t enjoy it at all. For this reason, if my sub is deliberately breaking rules all the time, I will have to walk away, it just isn’t the sort of dynamic that I want.


Receiving
As a sub, I do not like punishments either. I have become a lot better at not emotionally breaking down when I need to be punished. But I still don’t like it. It is about disappointing somebody who you look up to and respect. I don’t want to do that ever. I am actually much more harsh on myself when I know I need to be punished, than anything you can do to me. If you told me my punishment was to cum, I would still be sad and probably even cry.


At the same time, I need to have punishments in place for any rules that I must follow because the brat in me likes to test limits and if there are no punishments or consequences, I will push too far and eventually not listen at all. That being said, I will almost always push at first to make sure you are going to follow through, because again, if you aren’t then why am I going to follow the rules.


In conclusion, punishments are not something that are desired, but they are something that I see a use for both as a sub and as a domme. They may not work for everybody, but they work for me. As long as they are taken seriously by both parties.


Funishments can be fun at times too. I like to be spanked for being “naughty”, but it is not a true punishment and has a completely different feel than a punishment.