Not quite a safeword...
Posted 11-23-2016 at 04:38 AM by AbusiveMaster
Reading the recent discussions on safewords, and it is good to see people engaging in adult exchanges of ideas and opinions, has led me to thinking a little on a recent and ongoing situation.
Those of you who follow the forum threads may be aware of the ongoing interrogation game involving myself, Icy and Hearty. A summary for those who are unaware. Basically each girl starts an hour long scene with a particular word that I do not know. Their task is to get to the end of an hour without telling me that word. Mine is to extract it from them.
So in a manner of speaking, their code word is a form of safeword. Using it ends the torture I am delivering. But the fun is trying to push them into safewording, while they (stubborn brats that they both are) push against their boundaries to resist safewording out of the situation.
Using only the first round as an example, as heart has yet to face her second round, both girls stubbornly (and bravely) faced down everything I threw at them. I tailored each task to them specifically, making it difficult (but not impossible, I do try to be fair.)
I know for a fact that under normal circumstances, both girls would have stopped long before they did during this challenge. I know for a fact both girls wanted to stop long before they did.
So ling as safety always comes first, pushing to that degree can be a LOT of fun, and so long as the sub enjoys the challenge and knows it is a game, I strongly advocate actvely trying to force a safeword from your submissive. It isn't as easy as it looks.
Total Comments 12
Comments
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Sounds exciting. I enjoy having my resistance broken down and being forced to say humiliating things, this is similar. I'm curious if there are consequences of failure or if the disappointment of 'failure' is the consequence in and of itself.Posted 11-23-2016 at 04:47 AM by Alexis Rune 
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Asslvr and I have done an interrogation scene very similar. We had 3 rounds and each round he had to force the correct number out of me in order to get me to safeword. I too am stubborn and was pushed a lot further than I normally would have gone otherwise. And actually the same for Asslvr. He is usually a very gentle and caring dom rather than wanting to push me so far, and it was a nice change for a scene. Ultimately, we were both aware that it was a game and that it could stop at anytime if something went wrong or too far, and of course we are always as safe as we can be, so it was great fun!
I hope you three continue to enjoy your interrogation.Posted 11-23-2016 at 08:00 AM by Butterfly
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Well, you definitely got me thinking. Already a great thankyou for this blog for that reason alone.
I definitely want to reply but in order not to spoil your thread i will do after hearty completed her sessionsPosted 11-23-2016 at 08:45 AM by sir stefan
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Hmm.
I'll be back to comment properly after Heart has done her next round and I can talk about both attempts of my round two properly.Posted 11-23-2016 at 04:21 PM by IceMaiden
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Good luck Icey!!!!
Posted 11-23-2016 at 04:32 PM by Butterfly
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Heart wants to safeword before even startingPosted 11-23-2016 at 05:23 PM by Heart
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Fun for you! Pegs weren't fun for me! I would be very happy to tie with Aimee on this interrogation I just want us both to beat you and last every hour of every round. So whilst the pegs themselves were NOT fun for me and I wanted to kill you, knowing time was ticking away and I was getting closer to beating you and then eventually beating you was very very very fun! (Maybe that's my brat bone.)Quote:I know for a fact that under normal circumstances, both girls would have stopped long before they did during this challenge. I know for a fact both girls wanted to stop long before they did.
I'd have stopped about 10 seconds into attaching pegs. The first round wasn't so bad that I actively wanted to give you the number until nearing the end.
But the second round..YOU SUCK.
So ling as safety always comes first, pushing to that degree can be a LOT of fun, and so long as the sub enjoys the challenge and knows it is a game, I strongly advocate actvely trying to force a safeword from your submissive. It isn't as easy as it looks.
What I also found interesting is that under 'normal circumstances' I don't think I could have lasted that long/pushed myself that much with round two. Obviously I now know I can but if it hadn't have been done under these circumstances I 100% believe that I would have given up within minutes. I suppose this could be psychological.
When I did round two the first time, I lasted 18 minutes before I gave up the colour to AM. I was very disappointed in myself that I had given up so early, even though I knew it was a game, I knew he was going to push me on the things I find difficult or dislike and I had tried my best it still felt bad to have given up.Quote:Originally Posted by Alexis Rune
Sounds exciting. I enjoy having my resistance broken down and being forced to say humiliating things, this is similar. I'm curious if there are consequences of failure or if the disappointment of 'failure' is the consequence in and of itself.
Quote:Originally Posted by Butterfly
Asslvr and I have done an interrogation scene very similar. We had 3 rounds and each round he had to force the correct number out of me in order to get me to safeword. I too am stubborn and was pushed a lot further than I normally would have gone otherwise. And actually the same for Asslvr. He is usually a very gentle and caring dom rather than wanting to push me so far, and it was a nice change for a scene. Ultimately, we were both aware that it was a game and that it could stop at anytime if something went wrong or too far, and of course we are always as safe as we can be, so it was great fun!
I hope you three continue to enjoy your interrogation.
I think we're all just stubborn brats.
And thank yoouu <3
Quote:Originally Posted by IHeartfun
Heart wants to safeword before even starting Posted 11-25-2016 at 06:04 AM by IceMaiden
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I wanted to wait with my reaction until your game was fully over becaus I did not want to spoil the fun on that. Let me be very clear,.. I have absolutely no criticism on your play. I am fully confident that you have played it with respect an safety. I did read the reports and they show you did. So...... not criticism on your play.
However,...
I strongly disagree in advising this to others, especially towards inexperienced people or fresh relationships. In fact this play is completely contradictive to the plea I made for doms "to avoid driving until the safeword got used" >>here<<. I see a great danger, experienced people will know how to handle that, but I am afraid of starting people. The interrogation setup drives the dom into more pushing than normal. It has the risk of "excusing" him for being cautious, it has the risk that he will use the setup to feel allowed to push until the sub confesses. At the same time,.. sure the sub will have this confession as some sort of safeword, but while normally we assure our subs to feel comfortable and positive about using his/her safeword, this scene will drive her into delaying the use. She now gets a negative association with the confession/safeword. If she uses it, she will feel bad for failing the interrogation, This may drive her into letting happen far more than she will later feel comfortable with.
So,.. no,.. i strongly advice against an interrogation,
Having said that,... the scenario is hot. Sure,.. very hot.
I discussed it briefly with my pet. My pet was arroused but also afraid, she was convinced she would only confess when I would go for her limits. For above reasons i had already decided not to play this game. If I would have decided to play, I am sure my pet would have played (she trusts me), but it would have been a disaster. Either I would have pushed my pet into confession which then would have been realized by a far over-the-limit interrogation. Most likely I would have unrepairable loss of trust afterwards. Alternatively i would have stopped which would have been a dent in my strict reputation.
But.... some unlucky circumstance turned into an opportunity.
My pet was ill, she had an infection and was really unable to play. Of course however, she got utterly bored and horny form doing nothing. We were chatting at an evening and i asked her how many orgasms she had had that day (for reason of illness her orgasm-restriction was lifted), but she did not want to say.
As we had just read your interrogation-blog she asked "what I would do to her" to get that number. So I let her imagine to get tortured in some interrogation setup. In fact we "did" the interrogation you proposed, but not for real, fantasy only.
We both went very serious in that fantasy. I tortured her, and at the end she confessed. Strangely enough this ended up in being an extremely hot session.
I was able to torture her without having to be afraid about pushing too far. She was enjoying a fantasy that went further than she would be able to handle for real. She had always been curious towards how far I would feel comfortable to push her. Now she could experience. She got thrilled by the push she got,.. and at the end she really wanted to confess. She simply could not stand getting an other even further torturing message from me.
After the play we talked (just like we always do after a real session). We quickly agreed we were both completely insane, but also both had experienced the whole thing as very hot.Posted 01-31-2017 at 07:26 AM by sir sam
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Interesting points but I want to give my take on this comment.Quote:Originally Posted by sir sam
I wanted to wait with my reaction until your game was fully over becaus I did not want to spoil the fun on that. Let me be very clear,.. I have absolutely no criticism on your play. I am fully confident that you have played it with respect an safety. I did read the reports and they show you did. So...... not criticism on your play.
However,...
I strongly disagree in advising this to others, especially towards inexperienced people or fresh relationships. In fact this play is completely contradictive to the plea I made for doms "to avoid driving until the safeword got used" >>here<<. I see a great danger, experienced people will know how to handle that, but I am afraid of starting people. The interrogation setup drives the dom into more pushing than normal. It has the risk of "excusing" him for being cautious, it has the risk that he will use the setup to feel allowed to push until the sub confesses. At the same time,.. sure the sub will have this confession as some sort of safeword, but while normally we assure our subs to feel comfortable and positive about using his/her safeword, this scene will drive her into delaying the use. She now gets a negative association with the confession/safeword. If she uses it, she will feel bad for failing the interrogation, This may drive her into letting happen far more than she will later feel comfortable with.
So,.. no,.. i strongly advice against an interrogation,
Having said that,... the scenario is hot. Sure,.. very hot.
I discussed it briefly with my pet. My pet was arroused but also afraid, she was convinced she would only confess when I would go for her limits. For above reasons i had already decided not to play this game. If I would have decided to play, I am sure my pet would have played (she trusts me), but it would have been a disaster. Either I would have pushed my pet into confession which then would have been realized by a far over-the-limit interrogation. Most likely I would have unrepairable loss of trust afterwards. Alternatively i would have stopped which would have been a dent in my strict reputation.
But.... some unlucky circumstance turned into an opportunity.
My pet was ill, she had an infection and was really unable to play. Of course however, she got utterly bored and horny form doing nothing. We were chatting at an evening and i asked her how many orgasms she had had that day (for reason of illness her orgasm-restriction was lifted), but she did not want to say.
As we had just read your interrogation-blog she asked "what I would do to her" to get that number. So I let her imagine to get tortured in some interrogation setup. In fact we "did" the interrogation you proposed, but not for real, fantasy only.
We both went very serious in that fantasy. I tortured her, and at the end she confessed. Strangely enough this ended up in being an extremely hot session.
I was able to torture her without having to be afraid about pushing too far. She was enjoying a fantasy that went further than she would be able to handle for real. She had always been curious towards how far I would feel comfortable to push her. Now she could experience. She got thrilled by the push she got,.. and at the end she really wanted to confess. She simply could not stand getting an other even further torturing message from me.
After the play we talked (just like we always do after a real session). We quickly agreed we were both completely insane, but also both had experienced the whole thing as very hot.
You're right, inexperienced Doms, subs, Masters, Mistresses, and slaves may go wrong with this. However, the only way to get experience on something is to do it.
So yeah, I vote if you're curious and know your sub/slave.
But, I do agree, don't do this in a fresh relationship. Especially since your goal is to get a safe word. In a scene like this, the Dom has to be aware.
And know when they went to far. Cause in a scene like this, a sub can go way past their limits and regret it later. Know your sub.
In a scene like this, the Dom can stop it if they think the sub has had enough but there's no garuntee the sub will as they may be holding out in order to not disappoint their Dom.
So I wouldn't recommend this for fresh relationships. This can go too far fast if you do not know your partner.
I don't think it excuses the Dom from being cautious. I think it gives the Dom no excuse to not be cautious. Even though this scene technically has a safe word, it needs to be treated as if there are no safewords.
Because the subs goal is not to use it (which is always the goal but usually for both parties). This has the added risk factor as the sub will go past limits and the Dom has to be careful not to take it to far.
And the Dom has to keep in mind what the sub can't do under any circumstances (like I'm sure AM wouldn't tell IceMadien to strip in front of her child), that's too far even in a scene like this.
And he wouldn't tell Heart to have sex with 10 strangers in ten minutes.
This is too far even in a scene like this. This is why parties need to know each other. One to know everyone involved is sane. Two, so the Dom knows what limits he can't go past. There is a limit even without limits as AM has said before.
And I also believe sessions like this do need more aftercare than normal.
So I don't find it dangerous, I find it a huge display of trust.
But if AM was a stranger to them both, then I would have different feelings about it. Same if I thought he was crazy.Posted 01-31-2017 at 09:37 AM by LitDarkness
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Kid, I think maybe you are describing the need to know the difference between, (my choice of words): "limits" of various degrees and the "do not exceed" line -- and how important it is to recognize that difference.
(Edited to remove duplication of phrases.)Posted 01-31-2017 at 09:58 AM by MarvHarvey
Updated 01-31-2017 at 10:32 AM by MarvHarvey -
I am. If you can do that, you can do a interrogation scene was my point pretty much.Quote:Originally Posted by MarvHarvey
Kid, I think maybe you are describing the need to know the difference between, (my choice of words): "limits" of various degrees and the "do not exceed" line -- and the need to know the difference.
If you can't do that, you have no business doing that kind of scene.Posted 01-31-2017 at 10:24 AM by LitDarkness
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Quote:Originally Posted by sir sam
I wanted to wait with my reaction until your game was fully over becaus I did not want to spoil the fun on that. Let me be very clear,.. I have absolutely no criticism on your play. I am fully confident that you have played it with respect an safety. I did read the reports and they show you did. So...... not criticism on your play.
However,...
I strongly disagree in advising this to others, especially towards inexperienced people or fresh relationships. In fact this play is completely contradictive to the plea I made for doms "to avoid driving until the safeword got used" >>here<<. I see a great danger, experienced people will know how to handle that, but I am afraid of starting people. The interrogation setup drives the dom into more pushing than normal. It has the risk of "excusing" him for being cautious, it has the risk that he will use the setup to feel allowed to push until the sub confesses. At the same time,.. sure the sub will have this confession as some sort of safeword, but while normally we assure our subs to feel comfortable and positive about using his/her safeword, this scene will drive her into delaying the use. She now gets a negative association with the confession/safeword. If she uses it, she will feel bad for failing the interrogation, This may drive her into letting happen far more than she will later feel comfortable with.
So,.. no,.. i strongly advice against an interrogation,
Having said that,... the scenario is hot. Sure,.. very hot.
I discussed it briefly with my pet. My pet was arroused but also afraid, she was convinced she would only confess when I would go for her limits. For above reasons i had already decided not to play this game. If I would have decided to play, I am sure my pet would have played (she trusts me), but it would have been a disaster. Either I would have pushed my pet into confession which then would have been realized by a far over-the-limit interrogation. Most likely I would have unrepairable loss of trust afterwards. Alternatively i would have stopped which would have been a dent in my strict reputation.
But.... some unlucky circumstance turned into an opportunity.
My pet was ill, she had an infection and was really unable to play. Of course however, she got utterly bored and horny form doing nothing. We were chatting at an evening and i asked her how many orgasms she had had that day (for reason of illness her orgasm-restriction was lifted), but she did not want to say.
As we had just read your interrogation-blog she asked "what I would do to her" to get that number. So I let her imagine to get tortured in some interrogation setup. In fact we "did" the interrogation you proposed, but not for real, fantasy only.
We both went very serious in that fantasy. I tortured her, and at the end she confessed. Strangely enough this ended up in being an extremely hot session.
I was able to torture her without having to be afraid about pushing too far. She was enjoying a fantasy that went further than she would be able to handle for real. She had always been curious towards how far I would feel comfortable to push her. Now she could experience. She got thrilled by the push she got,.. and at the end she really wanted to confess. She simply could not stand getting an other even further torturing message from me.
After the play we talked (just like we always do after a real session). We quickly agreed we were both completely insane, but also both had experienced the whole thing as very hot.
I completely agree that people in a new relationship or new to playing with each other shouldn't attempt an interrogation scene. There's too many things that can go wrong if you don't know each other extremely well.Quote:Originally Posted by TheKidWithSkills
Interesting points but I want to give my take on this comment.
You're right, inexperienced Doms, subs, Masters, Mistresses, and slaves may go wrong with this. However, the only way to get experience on something is to do it.
So yeah, I vote if you're curious and know your sub/slave.
But, I do agree, don't do this in a fresh relationship. Especially since your goal is to get a safe word. In a scene like this, the Dom has to be aware.
And know when they went to far. Cause in a scene like this, a sub can go way past their limits and regret it later. Know your sub.
In a scene like this, the Dom can stop it if they think the sub has had enough but there's no garuntee the sub will as they may be holding out in order to not disappoint their Dom.
So I wouldn't recommend this for fresh relationships. This can go too far fast if you do not know your partner.
I don't think it excuses the Dom from being cautious. I think it gives the Dom no excuse to not be cautious. Even though this scene technically has a safe word, it needs to be treated as if there are no safewords.
Because the subs goal is not to use it (which is always the goal but usually for both parties). This has the added risk factor as the sub will go past limits and the Dom has to be careful not to take it to far.
And the Dom has to keep in mind what the sub can't do under any circumstances (like I'm sure AM wouldn't tell IceMadien to strip in front of her child), that's too far even in a scene like this.
And he wouldn't tell Heart to have sex with 10 strangers in ten minutes.
This is too far even in a scene like this. This is why parties need to know each other. One to know everyone involved is sane. Two, so the Dom knows what limits he can't go past. There is a limit even without limits as AM has said before.
And I also believe sessions like this do need more aftercare than normal.
So I don't find it dangerous, I find it a huge display of trust.
But if AM was a stranger to them both, then I would have different feelings about it. Same if I thought he was crazy.
But I also agree with Kid that it doesn't excuse the Dom/me the right to be cautious, if anything he/she should be more cautious with a scene like this. I'd like to think that experienced dominants would be aware of this and react accordingly. Of course you're going to get idiots who do push too far but I would assume the majority who did so are not experienced or in a long term relationship, which brings us back to knowing each other well before you attempt something like this.
I personally didn't feel like I had failed for using the codeword in my first attempt of round two. I was mad and disappointed I hadn't been able to last longer sure, but I didn't feel like I had failed or bad for doing it, and I know AM didn't think less of me either for using it. It's possible someone may not use it when they should of course but if we are talking about a couple who are as close as they should be to do this and a dom/me with a brain, hopefully they would notice the signs, read body language etc.
I don't think stopping would have any effect on yours (or anyones) reputation as a dom/me. If it's needed, it's needed. What would have an effect and a bad one, is not stopping when it's needed as that would mean you're not looking out for any telltale signs that it is time to stop, or not adhering to them if you did notice them.
Heh that reminded me when AM had sent me some gifts and as I knew what the package contained I allowed the little one to open it, he asked who sent it to me and then said "But now Teddy (His nickname for AM) will know what panties you are wearing!"
Let's look at my limits that I don't have with AM and say during the interrogation he had decided to use scat or visible marks that would still be seeable next time I had my child or blood/dangerous -all hard limits, the first for reasons I find it absolutely vile and the second for the risk of my child seeing and the third for not wanting to kill myself- the first one I would have done, very reluctantly and I would have needed ALOT, probably hours and hours, of aftercare. I would have probably cried and been a mess.
The second one, I'd have stopped the scene and asked him what the hell he had been smoking. I would have asked him to modify it after laying out my reasons and if he refused to, I wouldn't have done it.
The third one...we would no longer be together. One of the very first things he ever said to me was something like "I may hurt you but I will never harm you. If I ever told you to do something that would harm you, leave. End the relationship." And that is exactly what I would do.
So like Marv said it's about knowing which limits can be crossed and knowing which ones we don't even go near.Posted 01-31-2017 at 01:10 PM by IceMaiden
Updated 01-31-2017 at 01:14 PM by IceMaiden
