As a note in case it doesn't become obvious: This is not an AMA thread. This is an AMA tutorial thread. You may feel free to ask me anything, so long as it stays within the scope of this thread. Otherwise your comment will likely not even get a ransom note.
Introduction
Ask me anything, words that for some strike fear to the very core of their being while others become aroused at thinking about the idea of being splayed so widely open for others to consume at their leisure....