Yesterday started my week of trial with a new Dom. We discussed the terms of this perticular form of a DS that I needed to fit my current situation for what seemed like a whole day, and I found myself sometimes in a hurry for these preludes to be over, yet when we got to that point, I started wanting them to go on for a bit, I think I was a bit intimidated and scared to dive into it : I really wanted it to work but my feelings have been my worse ennemy the last couple months, I couldn't let go of my...

Today I had my third vaginal orgasm of my life, took me forever, worse than a workout lol I was so sweaty at the end.

I almost gave up as I usually do but I finally got it. The arousal kept rising to the edge and falling back over and over, I must have edged a few times without actually meaning to, this always happens when I try unusual ways of cumming especially not directly stimulating my clit, so it's really frustrating.

It gets to a point where I don't even care about...

Today I sort of kind of did a session of mini-anal training, something I didn't really do in nearly a decade, I mean it's nothing of the level of what people do here, but I just went from finger to two fingers to hair brush handle, kinda inspired by the words and thoughts of a fellow GD user.

Not something I'm planning to make a habit of but I just felt like, it's kinda been the season of doing things that aren't in my comfort zone lately, as always I'm just going with the flow and doing...

Before listing mine I invite you to also think of how yours compare and share them if they are any different.

• Shutting the fuck up
  
• Eating
  
• Sleeping
  
• Writing/whining
  
• Stretching

I don't know if it's a Sub drop, but after today's session I went from wanting to give up on the last tasks, to questioning my entire desire to be a part of this (BDSM, a Sub, taking pain, everything), to wanting to just announce that I give up in the current tasks again, to this...


Update 1 :

I'm not crying...

Following my recent breast torment adventures on Ladies.exposed I got asked which task I enjoyed the most, and as per usual I had no clue, tbh mid-play or post-session is the worse time to get me to self-assess and actually expect a valide answer, my mind is very blurry, I can't pin point exactly what my feelings are. When I was expected to write reports for my Dom it was usually after a good night of sleep.

Where was I going with that ? But even now (it's been a day) I still don't have...

• Being submissive (in the sense of offering my obedience, serving and pleasing, not being forced and abused)
  
  
• Love and softness being thrown in the mix
  
  
• Bodywriting
  
  
• Breast play/torture
  
  
• Very light humiliation (at least my perception of it)
  
  
• Being told "good girl" (especially in the context of letting me know I'm doing well in enduring something)
  
  
• Being called / identifying as a Slave

...