It's like a normal world, only weirder. Now with 100% more poetry!
If you think that you're better than me...
Posted 11-27-2014 at 12:24 PM by An_Jon
No poems today. I have a little rant to make.
I was chatting to someone I know on Fetlife. We're not friends on there, but she found me and regognised my name, location and idioms from real life. Seriously, if anyone actually knows me around here I wouldn't be hard to trace.
I'll be honest here, I never really liked her; but I do admire some of the things about her. She is driven, intelligent and jumps into whatever she does with such enthusiasm. She makes friends easily and is successful in what she does, so fair play to her. However, she has this knack of isolating people and, occasionally, turning a lot of people against her all at once (this being a by-product of her enthusiasm and drive.) We had clashed a couple of times through the three year period which we had known each other, but ended up as manageable associates who could talk amicably to one another; like adults.
So, we were chatting on Fetlife. She invited me to take a look at her pictures: I did. A fair few of them. Well takes and showing signs of a life being lived with enjoyment and happiness. Again, well done. She then compared them to my two pictures. Both of them almost identical. They're just me outside on a rainy night, shirtless. Then she said these exact words:
"Judging by our two profiles I'd say that I've proven to be better than you. Not only in BDSM but also in the way in which I live my life."
I shall share with you my response here:
"Look, [name redacted], I'm pleased for you. I am. Truly, honestly, really. It's clear that you're enjoying your life, that's something we should all aim for. However, if you feel the need to point that out you shall never be better than me. If you need to compare your life to others you don't appear to be as secure and as confident as your pictures would have us believe. I mean sure, anyone can see you're happy - but why draw a comparison? You know jack shit about my life and how I live it, and I'm going to keep it that way.
I won't message you again. The final thing I will say to you is this: if you think that you're better than me you can just fuck right off."
She did message back something. I'll never know what though, I'm not going to read it. I really don't care if it's an apology, if it's clarification or just abuse. I mean it - if anyone says that they think that they're better than me then, unless they can prove it beyond reasonable doubt, they can fuck off forever.
I don't even need to get into the laughably bad comment of being better at BDSM, I hope. I don't want to live in that skewed world where we judge people through online profiles and pictures. Especially not one where our worth as humans is judged on a sex life.
I have no regrets about erasing this person from my life. I'm writing this to pour the negative feelings out of my head and onto a screen. This is where all memory of this will stay. I'll keep the bile and disgust here, then continue living my happy, contented, life.
I was chatting to someone I know on Fetlife. We're not friends on there, but she found me and regognised my name, location and idioms from real life. Seriously, if anyone actually knows me around here I wouldn't be hard to trace.
I'll be honest here, I never really liked her; but I do admire some of the things about her. She is driven, intelligent and jumps into whatever she does with such enthusiasm. She makes friends easily and is successful in what she does, so fair play to her. However, she has this knack of isolating people and, occasionally, turning a lot of people against her all at once (this being a by-product of her enthusiasm and drive.) We had clashed a couple of times through the three year period which we had known each other, but ended up as manageable associates who could talk amicably to one another; like adults.
So, we were chatting on Fetlife. She invited me to take a look at her pictures: I did. A fair few of them. Well takes and showing signs of a life being lived with enjoyment and happiness. Again, well done. She then compared them to my two pictures. Both of them almost identical. They're just me outside on a rainy night, shirtless. Then she said these exact words:
"Judging by our two profiles I'd say that I've proven to be better than you. Not only in BDSM but also in the way in which I live my life."
I shall share with you my response here:
"Look, [name redacted], I'm pleased for you. I am. Truly, honestly, really. It's clear that you're enjoying your life, that's something we should all aim for. However, if you feel the need to point that out you shall never be better than me. If you need to compare your life to others you don't appear to be as secure and as confident as your pictures would have us believe. I mean sure, anyone can see you're happy - but why draw a comparison? You know jack shit about my life and how I live it, and I'm going to keep it that way.
I won't message you again. The final thing I will say to you is this: if you think that you're better than me you can just fuck right off."
She did message back something. I'll never know what though, I'm not going to read it. I really don't care if it's an apology, if it's clarification or just abuse. I mean it - if anyone says that they think that they're better than me then, unless they can prove it beyond reasonable doubt, they can fuck off forever.
I don't even need to get into the laughably bad comment of being better at BDSM, I hope. I don't want to live in that skewed world where we judge people through online profiles and pictures. Especially not one where our worth as humans is judged on a sex life.
I have no regrets about erasing this person from my life. I'm writing this to pour the negative feelings out of my head and onto a screen. This is where all memory of this will stay. I'll keep the bile and disgust here, then continue living my happy, contented, life.
Total Comments 5
Comments
-
I don't know exactly how you knew her but, given what you said, I don't think I could have written a better response. I know a fair few people who are into this kind of thing and would rate you on the highest tier. You can't really judge people with a profile and a couple of pictures. You need to talk to them and get to know them fully.
Most people would find it hard to resist lokking at the reply but I agree with you in thinking the reply is irrelevant. I think its good that you wrote this down as it both detoxifys yourself and helps people understand your thinking.Posted 11-27-2014 at 12:39 PM by realwing 
-
Sorry, I forgot to mention. We met at uni and were in the same year/course.Quote:Originally Posted by realwing
I don't know exactly how you knew herPosted 11-27-2014 at 03:49 PM by An_Jon
-
She sounds horrible - anyone who would think that, much less say it. I think I would have skipped to the last three words, so kudos to you for responding respectfully!
Posted 11-27-2014 at 04:32 PM by justJane
-
She says she's better than you. You would never say such a thing. The math is easy in this equation: You are better than her! A better person, a better human being. Good job!Posted 11-28-2014 at 02:20 AM by drwarschauu
-
'...Judging by our two profiles...'
Regardless of any other issues or criteria, that line of thinking is just plain stupid. Good for cutting that out of your life.
You found a safe space to pour your bile and move on. Ultimately the question of 'who is better' serves no real purpose, and is something to be overcome or channelled.
Live and build.Posted 11-28-2014 at 02:28 AM by StrawDog
