Moon and Star asexuality.

Hi everyone,

I wanted to give everyone an update. I've been through a lot of changes recently and have kind of come to terms with some of the feelings I had after trialling Master's in May.

I suppose the first place to start is I have a boyfriend. After all the disasters last year with my last boyfriend, this relationship is so much more... me. He's been my best friend for about 6 years now and whenever one of us had a relationship fail, we'd always run to each other, not realising why. We started dating, well soon after I broke up with my last boyfriend so I've been keeping it quiet a while.

We've decided that 'Moon' (for personal reasons) is going to be able to also post from this account but don't worry we'll make it clear who is who. Somehow.

I suppose the second main point I have to say may surprise people. I've realised in the past month that I'm actually Asexual. Now asexuality can mean a lot of things to different people. For me being asexual means that I can be romantically, physically and emotionally attached/attracted to someone or someone's personality but I have absolutely no sexual attraction to them. I do not want to have sex with them, I do not have sexual thoughts about them. Heck I don't even understand what 'sexy' is. Oh and yes I can be attracted to both genders.

Now this is something we have been working on as a couple for a while. We realised that (bearing in mind my religion states I remain a virgin until marriage) things like handjobs, teasing, sexual interaction for me wasn't getting me excited or enjoyable. So we sat down and had a long discussion. In fact it was moon who realised I was asexual quicker than I did.

Instead of pushing us further apart as you might expect it's actually brought us closer as we have to work on ways to make both parties happy, a mutual agreement. Now, Moon would like to explain a bit more.

Hello everyone,

It's so lovely to meet you all after all I've heard from Star. Star is an incredible person who I am lucky to have in life. She's already told you she's asexual and that its brought us together.

The reason for this is simple. I am obviously physically, emotionally, romantically and sexually attracted to Star. Star feels exactly the same about me except she's not sexually attracted to me. Which is fine. For me the relationship is stronger because of it. I know she's not just with me for a quick f***. She's with me because she loves me and wants to be with me. Likewise she knows I'm not just with her for a f*** as chances are its never going to happen.

We've been talking about compromise a lot. Obviously I have sexual feelings that I would love to have play out with her but I totally understand it's just not plausible. So we've come up with compromises. Although she isn't aroused or even particularly enjoys it, she is willing to give hand jobs and interact with me in a sexual manner provided its my body that's being... I suppose sexually used. And she does an amazing job. In return I do a lot of what she calls 'sweet' things for her. Run her a bath, make her breakfast, brush her hair, things which she really enjoys and makes her feel special the same way she makes me feel special.

It's a long path we are on and we still have loads more to find out, including how to incorporate BDSM into it. This is a bit of a compromise on my part. I'm not a 100% sure about it but I want to try it for her sake as she tries things for me. It's just finding a non-sexual way to do it.


Which is definitely the hard bit. I think if you are in a relationship, having mutual compromise is a good thing as everyone is different. In the truth section of this website there's currently a truth question going around saying 'can love be worthwhile and fulfilled without sex?' for both of us, yes it can be. As that's what our relationship is.

Lots of love
Star and Moon