Safe words always need to be used.

Hypocritical, as CBT and I don't have a safe word. (Although he is free to tell me if he can't do a task etc.)

Neither do Cent and I, I'm going to use him as a example as it's just easier as I knew him longer.

For him, I say I don't want to but never mean it. (I do at times but still do it. Most of the time, I don't mind.)

However, he can read me well, if I say I am uncomfortable, play goes slower than usual.

This is hurting me ends it.

This is just what I noticed with our play.

So we may have safe words in sense but it isn't a typical one word.

They are different for everyone and I do believe if something is wrong, speak up or its only going to get worse.

I'm sure I'm not a brat but this sounds like good advice.

Most of this can probably be stated with any submissive.

Maybe the safe word part eliminated as new subs probably won't know what that is. (Which is scary in general.) they need listened to.

I do like this blog and the advice that comes with it.

I love this.

I am 99% sure I am not a brat, I think I just have slightly bratty moments on occasion. But I love brats. I love that they can sparkle and snap and bat around domly doms like nobody's business, and I absolutely adore the banter between a brat and her dom/me. This post makes me happy.

That sounds like a trigger, what the dom said to you, or at least it was one in that instance - I am so sorry you went through that, I wish I could give you hugs. I absolutely hate disappointing people, and I am so vulnerable when I submit and my emotions are so near the surface, that if I feel I am not meeting someone's expectations or worse if I have specifically hurt/disappointed them, I plummet. I can very much identify with what you are saying, and I'm glad you put it into words so well because now you have my mind turning about a hundred things over...

Lovely again, thank you! This actually reminds me of an article I read a while back where the author explained safewords exist to keep the scene going not hold it up or end it - if something goes wrong, all play is over and may not happen with that person again, but even calling red in a scene to stop activity X provides a chance to pause, assess, treat, and find a way to continue. I love that perspective much more than the usual safewords as emergency brakes that mean the dom has made a wrong choice or the sub is too weak or whatever other rubbish. I very much agree with your emphasis on communication, and I hope people take it to heart.

And now for some reason I feel the urge to watch Supernatural...

I very much identify with your comments regarding getting over sub drop - I can't figure it out either. Usually I just feel like I'm killing time until it Just dissipates on its own. I have found that I want to be left alone by everyone except the dom I played with and I'm more likely to drop if the dom doesn't stick around. But everyone is so different, trying to find a single, one-size-fits-all method is impossible. I really appreciated your comments at the end about the quality of a session not being reflected in drop - in fact, the better the session is the more likely I will drop noticeably. Thank you for posting

I really appreciated this blog. Nicely written, very helpful!

Drinking and eating are indeed good ways to get out of sub drop. Breathing too! In fact, a lot of the things you wrote made me nod and agree when I read it.
I'm always nice when it happens, and I'd like to add that I also suggest my subby be nice to herself too. I tell her to go watch a really happy movie she likes, to take a warm and relaxing bath, to have extra yummy food... I think it helps!

I love playing with ice but haven't been brave enough to try it in my ass yet. I am sure Asslvr will change that in time :P

I'm so glad that you learned to like the shampoo slick, it was fun teasing you about that during your first try.