Nothing much till now....
Cloasure part 1
Posted 09-25-2014 at 06:00 AM by owneed
Hey all,
I am writing this blog to try and explain what happened to me in the last week, and the reasons behind my actions at that time…as its literally the first time that I set down since then…
To get that I have to go back before the night I disappeared for like 10 months, well, lets just say that a very small black mass appeared under my mother's armpits, it was of a size of a sesame, no one really cared, it looked like a mole, so everyone ignored it, and I was in the army back then, so I didn't see it,…
3 months ago, it got bigger, and it hurt her, so my uncle "surgeon" suggested we remove it and he assured us that its only a benign inflammation in a lymph node…anyway, due to money issues we waited another months before we went on with it, and after they removed it they sent it right away to be examined and the results came back to be cancer grade 4…
Anyway, at that night, I knew from the phone, I was in my business, so I closed the doors, and set down crying …yet, after that, I knew they found out they metastasis to the liver I don't know exactly but one of the doctors told me that if it reached the lever then she only has 3 months, and that what really broke me down…((however I discovered later that this wasn't true))
Anyway, my parents went to Cairo, "the Capitol" to some tumor Center on the same night, and at that time, I messaged a lot of my friends, that I am leaving, then I took my car and Drove away heading to Cairo…
They ran some more tests and scans and they found out 2 more focuses in the bones of the ribs…
Anyway, From that time tell now, I lost counts of the times I cried, I drove from there to my home city "4 hours drive" and back 3 times bringing stuff back and forth, and I nearly got killed on the road, and I was kept in the dark from all the planning, but at the end they decided that (I don't even know why) to move her Germany, they say that she has a chance there, some new methods are present there I don't know why the hell that doesn't exist here…I don't even know how are we going to pay for that, let me just tell you that 1 Euro = 10 Egyptian pounds…
Anyway, she is flying tomorrow with my brother and my father, and I and my two other brothers will stay behind…so I came home today, only 6 hours ago, I haven't slept since yesterday, and I barely slept last week anyway..
Our sole purpose at that moment is to save her, all of my family, and that's why I am staying behind, I am trying to sell some of my father's assets and I might even sell my business if I found a suitable price though that is a not likely, but I would search anyway…
And I think now is the time to say that this is my last visit to getdare, I always knew that sometimes I am going to end all my online relationships, but I thought it will be when I get engaged or something, but now, as I know that I don't need any distractions at the moment, and that whatever happens after that (I don't want to think about it) I am going to be occupied for a long time…
Now, I need to say that I never meant to hurt anyone and those who knew me, knew that I am a good person, and I do think of myself as a good person. I did loved all of you and I know I will miss my days here, but I really can't be here anymore, cause I will probably need to start everything all over again, I even blow up my interview of a very good job in the past days…
Please everyone, don't judge me or hate me, I have never meant to hurt anyone, a week ago I felt shit for mother, and I don't feel any better, but now that I finally set down and think, I realize that I must have hurt a lot of you, even though, I swear that I loved you all…
I Still have a lot to say but I will put it in the other part
I am writing this blog to try and explain what happened to me in the last week, and the reasons behind my actions at that time…as its literally the first time that I set down since then…
To get that I have to go back before the night I disappeared for like 10 months, well, lets just say that a very small black mass appeared under my mother's armpits, it was of a size of a sesame, no one really cared, it looked like a mole, so everyone ignored it, and I was in the army back then, so I didn't see it,…
3 months ago, it got bigger, and it hurt her, so my uncle "surgeon" suggested we remove it and he assured us that its only a benign inflammation in a lymph node…anyway, due to money issues we waited another months before we went on with it, and after they removed it they sent it right away to be examined and the results came back to be cancer grade 4…
Anyway, at that night, I knew from the phone, I was in my business, so I closed the doors, and set down crying …yet, after that, I knew they found out they metastasis to the liver I don't know exactly but one of the doctors told me that if it reached the lever then she only has 3 months, and that what really broke me down…((however I discovered later that this wasn't true))
Anyway, my parents went to Cairo, "the Capitol" to some tumor Center on the same night, and at that time, I messaged a lot of my friends, that I am leaving, then I took my car and Drove away heading to Cairo…
They ran some more tests and scans and they found out 2 more focuses in the bones of the ribs…
Anyway, From that time tell now, I lost counts of the times I cried, I drove from there to my home city "4 hours drive" and back 3 times bringing stuff back and forth, and I nearly got killed on the road, and I was kept in the dark from all the planning, but at the end they decided that (I don't even know why) to move her Germany, they say that she has a chance there, some new methods are present there I don't know why the hell that doesn't exist here…I don't even know how are we going to pay for that, let me just tell you that 1 Euro = 10 Egyptian pounds…
Anyway, she is flying tomorrow with my brother and my father, and I and my two other brothers will stay behind…so I came home today, only 6 hours ago, I haven't slept since yesterday, and I barely slept last week anyway..
Our sole purpose at that moment is to save her, all of my family, and that's why I am staying behind, I am trying to sell some of my father's assets and I might even sell my business if I found a suitable price though that is a not likely, but I would search anyway…
And I think now is the time to say that this is my last visit to getdare, I always knew that sometimes I am going to end all my online relationships, but I thought it will be when I get engaged or something, but now, as I know that I don't need any distractions at the moment, and that whatever happens after that (I don't want to think about it) I am going to be occupied for a long time…
Now, I need to say that I never meant to hurt anyone and those who knew me, knew that I am a good person, and I do think of myself as a good person. I did loved all of you and I know I will miss my days here, but I really can't be here anymore, cause I will probably need to start everything all over again, I even blow up my interview of a very good job in the past days…
Please everyone, don't judge me or hate me, I have never meant to hurt anyone, a week ago I felt shit for mother, and I don't feel any better, but now that I finally set down and think, I realize that I must have hurt a lot of you, even though, I swear that I loved you all…
I Still have a lot to say but I will put it in the other part
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