Welcome back and I am glad that things are going well for you. I have been AWOL for the past year but just started to dip my toe back in, and commenting and reading a few things here and there. Looking forward to seeing you around again.

Congrats and hope things go well. Haven't really been on vetDare since 2017-2018 since I lost passwords and was locked out of my Gmail linked to my getdare for the longest time 🤣

I am sorry to hear about your mom. I am also sorry to hear about the toxic friendship but you are so brave for being able to break up with a person like that.

I hope that things start to look up for you.

Looks like you're making some good leeway! I love that you've bolded the completed tasks as you go. You look like you've got quite a bit on your hands for now. I'll come back on your thread tomorrow with some fresh instructions though

For me as a Dom, my sub's physical appearance was never a deal breaker nor the most important thing required for a succesfull D/s relationship. It would be so superficial of me to accept subs just judging them by their looks. I had subs before that were nicely built and pretty, but that was it. I know there are some Doms/Dommes that want their subs to look like a model from a fashion magazine cover page, but that's never what appealed to me. I'd rather have a sub who's intelligent,funny, obedient, with a great imagination and writing skills than someone who just looks good. If there's a sub with all those traits together mixed with good looks-that's a jack pot.

What about people that are physically scarred or disfigured by any reason? What about people with receeding hairline or who have no hair at all? Should they all be shunned and looked down upon?

We all come in all diferent colors, shapes and sizes and sooner people accept that, better for them. Love and care for your subs no matter how big or small or how pretty they are. Love them and care for them for the persons they are, not by their looks and other superficial things. Our time is short, so better use it wisely.

I agree a lot with this. Sure, I'd love for my mistress to be physically beautiful but, especially in D/s, personality is way more important!

Beauty is in the eye of the beholder indeed and people who at first might not seem beautiful would become really beautiful when you get to know then, even physically.

I too get put off when I see ads asking, even demanding, for pics and six packs right off the bat.

I completely agree with everything you have said.

I understand that looks are important at times. You want to be attracted to the person you are dating, or sleeping with. If you are repulsed by them, then it might kill that. I think it is more important in a real life relationship, but it can also be true with online play.

However, I honestly prefer to not see a picture of somebody until I have come to know who they are as a person. I can fall for somebody (as a friend, play partner or even in the case of my husband) without every seeing a photo of them. Are they a good person? Are they kind? supportive? funny? witty? smart? All of those things paint a picture for me of who they are, before I even see a photo of them.

If I do see a photo of them right away, and they aren't what society would typically call "beautiful", those above qualities make them beautiful to me.

And even if I am not sexually attracted to just their looks, when it comes to D/s it is about so much more than what they look like. I am attracted to a Dom who is in control, who can turn me into a puddle of subbyness. I am attracted to a sub who is loyal, and devoted, and who will do things I tell them to do even if they are uncomfortable or painful. Those things turn me on!

I find though, since I have been rejected based on looks so often, that as a defence mechanism, I share a photo very quickly when meeting new people online. I also have the advantage of some people in my real life knowing about my kinks, as well as my husband who is aware of getDare, so I don't care as much if I share vanilla photos. But I do it so quickly so that people know they aren't getting a tiny little super model. Instead, I am overweight, and not very pretty. So that when I do charm them with my cute and sweet personality, they aren't expecting something completely different and then leave.

As for things outside of looks, I can understand some of them. Age and gender for me are big things when I am looking for a Dom. I want a male Dom and I want somebody who is older than me, or around the same age. It is an authority thing, and a maturity thing. However, when I am looking for a sub, any age, gender, race, etc. are considered.

I too identify as a switch, and I also go through periods where I lean more towards the other. I always struggle to do both at the same time, although it is ultimately what I would like. Right now I am also craving submission.

I think I am happiest as a sub. I feel loved and cared for (when I am with the right person), and protected. However, being a Domme gives me a powerful confidence and I get to be creative and sadistic which can also be therapeutic, however I think it also wears me out and makes me tired.

I still consider myself a switch though.

I don't think labels are as important as we make them out to be. Just be you! and see where that journey takes you.

I wouldn't mind if you stole the idea for a alphabet entry. It wasn't an original idea either, Jaro suggested it in my blog entry asking for suggestions.

Those were very interesting facts. Also, I think I am going to need to teach you to be a brat

Love you forever. <3

This hurts. Not much to say. I just want you to know your cry has been heard. // Marv

If they don't believe you are sick sometimes, if they don;t believe the doctor, and so on, then it is hard to know what to do next. Maybe there are others (aunts/uncles friends, etc.) who can at least be supportive?

I write a lot of blogs and I get notifications for every notification I get. Also you can change your settings so that once you comment on a blog, you are notified of any other responses.

I am not a blog commenter at all and rarely want to read them but you should not tolerate ill treatment. You should say something to them, they were so wrong to treat you that way. And honestly you get out of anything what you want. You want the stars KJ go get them.

I definetly don't feel any less of you. I did want to say a few things though:

First of all, it is definetly not you. Even if the two of you weren't a great fit, abandonment is never ok. It is unfortunate that this has happened to you on numerous occasions but with online relationships it seems to be more the norm than it should be. You deserve better than that.

I understand feeling jealous. Just like with "real life", you notice the thing you want the most. When I was yearning to get married, it seemed that everybody around me was either happily married, planning a wedding or getting engaged. And now the same thing is happening with babies. There are new babies everywhere. Everybody I know is pregnant! It makes it hard. But you can't let your jealousy rule your life.

Lastly, I won't say that you will find somebody or you just have to be patient because I know that can be frustrating. But I will tell you that when you do find the right person, it makes this whole period of time worth it. I know sometimes it feels hopeless and pointless, but don't give up. Take your time and take breaks if you need to but I promise this is all worth it when it does happen.

You have friends here. People who care. I care. You know you can always message me. It's usually easier to message on kik so we can have an actual conversation rather than the long detailed messages we are both used to writting. But I am here.

Fun list! I love that there is a dice task as part of the rewards. Hopefully this will be a lot of fun. Good luck!!

Wow it is soo easy to forget that things like #3 actually do exist in this world. I cant imagine what that poor girls life is like or what went wrong with her parents. Like what would bring you to treat your own child like that..... That must be annoying getting random emails like that. Maybe you could change your email address? Of course if its one you use alot that could be a hassle too.

Wow, your third experience was downright awful. What a deplorable person. I hope you reported her (I don't doubt you did)!

But, whether we like it or not, people grow up in all kinds of situations around the globe and there are places, communities even, where people believe that sort of behavior and child rearing is okay. It's sobering to think about.

Great share. I only pity the title because I think you brought something valuable to the topic.

I sympathize with you in your #3. What a horrific experience.

It is great to hear from you.

I am sorry to hear about your IBS issues and about you not being with Alexis or your other sub anymore.

Depression is a powerful thing and it can affect many different areas of your life. Please reach out if you need a friend to talk to. You know I'm always around. Also if I knew you were looking for a sub I may have been interested. I am starting a one week trial this week with a new sub.

Dating can be tough. Especially online dating. Those are both good places to start. Let me know if you want any help or support.

Good luck with everything friend.

Even though I knew most of this, as you suggested I would, it was nice to read. I hope you find what you are looking for, you really deserve it.

That was so much fun to read! Thank you for sharing.

Your rules seem like a lot of fun for you I really like that I got to pick one, even as your submissive. Thank you for that honor, Sir! Now that you are on your own more often, you can do a lot of things that you couldn't before which is great.

I feel the same exact way. I get so many people asking for pics of me or my gf just because we are subs. For me and my gf we will both share pics, but only with people who we get to know and get to trust. The amount of people who Kik me and immediately demand pics is ridiculous. We are happy to send pics, but you had to really know us first and we have to have a good bond already. Or if someone wants to swap pics, we would probably do that to but it's still a matter of asking, not a matter of demanding and getting mad when we say no.