No limits.
Oooh, controversy.
Frosty may mention, in her sweet way, she has no limits. This is true, and untrue at the same time.
I know what she likes, I know what she doesn't like. I know where she can be pushed and where she is not to be. We actually talk - strange as that may sound.
So no limits is NOT "I can do what I want and she can't do a thing about it." Never will be.
Instead it is a statement of trust. I won't hurt her because I care about her wellbeing, not because it is a limit. Removing the limit doesn't remove her trust, or my responsibility to keep her safe.
So yeah, the term "no limits" is pure sophistry, but a happy one. The only difference is the phrasing.
Frosty may mention, in her sweet way, she has no limits. This is true, and untrue at the same time.
I know what she likes, I know what she doesn't like. I know where she can be pushed and where she is not to be. We actually talk - strange as that may sound.
So no limits is NOT "I can do what I want and she can't do a thing about it." Never will be.
Instead it is a statement of trust. I won't hurt her because I care about her wellbeing, not because it is a limit. Removing the limit doesn't remove her trust, or my responsibility to keep her safe.
So yeah, the term "no limits" is pure sophistry, but a happy one. The only difference is the phrasing.
Total Comments 2
Comments
-
You're totally lying. We don't talk at all. Ever! You just tell me what to do and I do it and the rest of the time you're mean to me and I'm forbidden from responding. And that's the entire basis of our relationship.
In seriousness: I agree it's the phrasing and also entirely dependant who with too.
I don't trust others enough to let go like this/I have done so far with you. So no, I guess I don't technically have limits. But only with you. I trust you absolutely.
And well if you ever did "I can do what I want and she can't do a thing about it." you know I can and will kill you. That's what I can do about it.
I love you.Posted 08-09-2015 at 06:27 PM by IceMaiden 
-
My problem with the "no limits" line comes with people who have not yet entered into a relationship with somebody. They come into the chat and say something to the effect of "20 year old male, no limits, looking for a mistress". THAT bothers me. To me it says that, that person isn't serious, they aren't bothered to list things that they are willing and unwilling to do, or they have no intention of actually doing what they are told. Everybody has limits, unless they have a death wish.
It is different when you have entered into a relationship and you have learned to trust each other through open communication and mutual respect. It is not something I can see myself doing, but removing limits in a situation like that isn't awful.
I could probably say that I have no limits with Asslvr. We have grown to love and respect and trust each other so completely. I was able to do the interrogation with him only because of those things. I never could have done that with anybody else. He never does anything to hurt me. But for him and I, me having limits is something that helps us both. For me, it gives me a feeling of being ultimately in control, which is something I need. And for him, it makes him feel safe enough to push me, because if I have limits, he knows where he can slowly push and monitor me rather than just jumping in.
But congratulations to the two of you for getting to a position where you feel you can remove limits. and I am glad you aren't letting the controversy of the word get in the way of what feels right.Posted 08-11-2015 at 12:58 PM by Butterfly
