I have realized recently that I have been very very unhappy in many aspects of my life. In the past month, I have realized that I deserve better.

I have thought a lot about a lot of things, and I have finally made some decisions. Tomorrow I am starting the ball rolling on the biggest of these changes.

I am scared ... I don't like the unknown. I don't like the uncertainty of not knowing where I will be a year, 2 years, 5 years from now.

But at the same time,...

The other day I was overwhelmed with this sense of awe and amazement at this website. It wasn't one particular thing I read, or message I received ... it just kind of came out of the blue, but I realized how at home I felt here at GD and how it really did feel like a community.

It isn't just a website, but it is a group of very like minded people who support one another.

I have been a lurker off and on for over a year now. Every now and then I would come on and take a...

***Sorry in advance for this very off topic blog post. It is just relevant to my life right now, and needed a sounding board for my feelings***

I hate funerals. I mean, nobody likes funerals, but I hate them more than most. In my 25 short years, I have had to attend 15-20 with half of those being people who were extremely close to me.

I am an emotional person. I believe that wearing my heart on my sleeve has hurt me in the past, but as much as I try, and against my better...

I like to be in control of my life, unless I exclusively give that control to another person. I am a planner. I make a meal plan each week, and a list of groceries I will need. I make hotel reservations week or months ahead of time. I like to have a basic schedule or itinerary when going on trips. I like knowing what to expect tomorrow, next week, or 5 years from now.

So for me, when giving up control to another person, one thing that has always been a struggle for me, is the unknown....

So ... I don't know how it was done, but we managed to top my best orgasm of my life!

Sunday was an incredible day, well to be honest the whole weekend with Sir was wonderful. But Sunday was the icing on the cake ..

We started with a bubble bath. Sir had me bring my pink rabbit vibe into the tub. I had accumulated 10 edges this week, and we had taken care of 4 on Saturday, so I knew I was expecting to get a bit frustrated. Sir did not disappoint. He had me start the vibe...

I have dealt with triggers all my life ...

When people call me certain names: slut, bitch, whore, baby ... or described as selfish.
When I hear the word c**t.
When I am playfully slapped on the behind with a wooden spoon.
When I am told to sit in the corner.
When I am told what to by somebody who doesn't have the right to.
Smelling the

These things are all triggers. They cause me to feel negative things. Depending on which one and...

Butterflies are very significant to me. My home office is decorated with all different butterflies. The butterfly has a few different meanings for me.

One is a very personal significance because when I see it, it remind me of my Nana (my great grandmother).

When I was 7 years old, I went to a family Christmas party. There was a gift exchange for the kids, but somebody had forgotten to bring their gift, so my Nana chose to put her adult gift in for one of the girls gifts....