How to Look Cute as Hell

So, you could say that looking cute as Hell is kind of an oxymoron, but my thought is, why look preppy adorable cute when you can look like you fought the devil and won cute?

To begin with, you need to slaughter some cattle. I know I know all you vegetarians throwing a cow (hehe, cuz cattle is cow) but sacrifice is important when looking like you're a demon straight out of the pit but still totally down to have a nap.

You've got your cow? Okay, now once you kill it, you gotta make sure, and this is very important, that the meat stays fresh.

You're going to be pulling a Lady Gaga and wearing the meat as your oh so adorable outfit for life a hellspawn! Feel free to eat some of your raw meat as you sew, because recycling is good for the planet you're about to turn into a wasteland.

Don't worry about how your clothing looks. You can go for the super sexy demon thing and have very little coverage or maybe you'd prefer to leave more to the imagination of the mortals you're going to enslave. Maybe just a casual business suit to remind those humans that Hell can come from anywhere. It's all up to you!

Outfit on? Fabulous! Make sure to snap a few selfies as you go through your transformation #nicetomeatyou

Your next goal is to find a virgin (society says that they are dying out, but I'm sure you'll find one)

Once you find your lucky gal or guy, you're going to use their blood to style your fabulous mane of hair! All great overlords need to have a great signature hairdo. Make sure it's nothing too complicated so when the slaves inevitably begin worshiping you, they can copy your look.

If you want, use some of that extra blood as body paint. Nothing says Bow Down like Hello Kitty on your arms in virgin's blood!

Hair up? Outfit on? You're almost ready! Your final act to become extreme ruler of the planet and fine as fuck is to work on your image. You've finished your makeover, so now it's time to make a statement.

Beheading a world leader on camera is great way to start. Bonus points if you use one hand! You could also topple major governments and replace them with your church of slaves. Causing a natural catastrophe is always an option. Do what feels natural to you.

Hair fixed? Outfit bloody? Image created? Congratulations! You have now become a ruler of nations and cute as Hell!

Happy hunting.